lostandconfused99

@jack101 I am going to contact my doctors office on tomorrow and double check how the diagnosis cane about. I am fairly certain it was a blood test, but can’t be 100% on this. Can they do a culture if there are no open lesions to test? @ruiner not that I want anyone to feel all the emotions that I am feeling about being H+, I am thankful that I’m not alone in the shame, disgust, guilt, and the dark gloomy cloud above me. I’m hoping for the sooner rather than later on this getting better as well!!

I agree, before this happened to me, I wouldn’t have given a second thought to being with someone if they had told me they had herpes, my answer would have immediately been no. Now, I’m left to feel that being with someone who is H+ is my only choice. Either that or never being sexually actively (with a man) again. I do look forward to the day that I can feel less like “why me” and more excepting of this condition. With this still being so new to me, I’m not there. I dread every day knowing that someone infected me. Knwonging that I have t have this for the rest of my life. Knowing that every time I choose to be intimate with someone or in a new relationship that I have to disclose that I am in fact H+. All of this is still overwhelming and I haven’t been able to wrap my head around it. It really is a lot to take in and learn. The stigma of herpes sucks, but it’s what is out there and that is what I am left to deal with daily.

You may disagree with me now, but you are new to this. When you get more info, you will understand that herpes is not a big deal at all. I truly can’t wait to get to this point. So many of you are so excepting, but is it only because we all are H+? Would you be just as accepting if you weren’t? The thoughts that are in my mind I can’t control. It’s never ending...

I’m trying to stress less, but work, kids, sports, school, and now this.... stress is inevitable. I’m going for accounting. Finals week always sucks. This only makes it worse.

My case is completely different than most on here. I’ve never had an outbreak. No lesions or blisters. Just went in for my annual and BAM, HSV1 positive. Once I knew that I have it, I did a lot of research to see if maybe I missed signs or anything for that matter, but I didn’t. About 2 wks into knowing I am H+ I stated having prickly pin like feelings and a lot of itching, but still no lesions. Idk if it’s in my head or all the stress, but it’s there and hasn’t gone away yet. Some days worse than others. I’m in college too! What is your major?

I’ve known I’m H+ since September. Not long, IMO, as it is still all I think about. It’s nice to meet you Jason. My name isn’t common, so I’d rather not share, just in case.

As of yet I have still have no desire to do anything, even alone. Hopefully the “wanting” of it comes back though.

@hippyherpy. That is refreshing to hear. Although I don't think I could bring myself to sleep with someone knowing they could be infected. I would never want to wish this upon someone. That is how I feel too! So conflicted all the time!

Unfortunately I have nothing positive to say because I am going through a lot of the same dilemmas as you. I have the doctor who offered nothing to me, no advice or meds to help with any of this. I’m afraid that I’ll never find anyone who will want to be with me because of this. I’m commentimg because I’m hoping to read the good advice that others will share with you. Best of luck!!

I have known since September 7th that I am have GHSV1. I am having a very hard time to terms with this new found condition that I have. My story seems to be different than most everyone else on this site. I didn't have an OB or any signs that there was anything going on down below. I went in for my annual, like I have since I was a teen, but this time the call that followed was a life changer. This time I tested positive for Herpes Simplex 1. I am not one who has random hook ups, I ALWAYS used protection, and yet I am the one who has been given the life sentence of GHSV1. I know things could always be worse, but for someone who has never had an STD, why is this the one I have to get? Would I feel differently if it was one that was curable with a pill? I can't really say, because that isn't what I was given. I think it is even harder for me to handle because I haven't been sexually active in close to a year, and last year I tested negative for everything. So does that mean that the person I was with last year is the one who gave me this? Could it have been living in me dormant all this time? So many questions and no one to ask. My OBGYN seemed annoyed when I wanted to know anything and just pushed it off that I probably got it when I was a kid from a relative and blah, blah, blah. I know many of you here feel it is just a "skin condition", that it is really no big deal, but for me it is still hard for me. I think about it nonstop. If my kids drink out of my cup, will I give it to them? If we share a chapstick, will they get H too? I am scared to even kiss my kids anymore. No, I don't have cold sores, but what if? Now I am forever going to. be stuck thinking "what if". I haven't been able to share this with anyone. I don't have any family I can share this with. I don't have any friends that I trust to share this with. It is just me. I need someone to hug me and tell me I am not disgusting. That everything will be ok. I just need to not feel like a worthless and disgusting human, but sadly that is all I am feeling lately. I want these feelings to change. I want to feel "normal" again. I know this is all over the place, but I truly didn't know where to begin and there is so much I wanted to say and know. Just like the name I have given myself, I am lost and confused!

Thank you! I’m going to call my doctors office Monday.

What is this Western Blot test I keep seeing everyone talking about? And also, am I able to get my test results from my doctor. Do I just call and ask for them?

Mine was done by blood test.

@HikingGirl that’s the problem, I’ve never had any abnormal anything. I don’t get yeast infections. Maybe 2 my whole life and I remember them both very well. I’ve never had a rash down below. Nothing! However, once my OBGYN called and told me the news, I started researching like crazy (how I found this group). Now I have symptoms all the time that won’t go away, but still no outbreak with open lesions or anything like that. I’m just completely lost on it all.

@DepressedToNoEnd did the symptoms stop once you stopped stressing it? I really am trying so hard to get to that point, but am having a terrible time with it. I need to figure out how to get it off my kind. So that it isn’t the only thing I think about. Every time I use the bathroom. Every time I get dressed. Every shower I take. Even with every step I take I feel like people know. I need to stop the stress and depression from it

I’m so happy that H wasn’t a set back for you. Good luck with your new distance relationship. I am hoping to make it to that point someday with myself. Sadly, knowing I have GHSV1 is still all I can’t think about.

I request to be tested for all STD’s, including H, every year at my annual appt. I know everyone keeps saying this is a “common skin condition to have, but I’ve never heard people going around talking about H like they do any other STD.

I have no advice as I am also new to this. I am looking forward to responses from everyone here though. I’ve never had any open sores or rashes, just a positive test from my last annual that was done.

So I’m told that is what I have. I should clarify that I’ve never actually had an outbreak from it. I have the symptoms, prodome is what I keep seeing everyone call it. I itch like fn crazy!! Lately it’s been feeling like more of a burning sensation or something similar. But I still don’t have blisters or boils or anything like that. I’m sure it’s all in my head because of all the reading I’ve done on HSV and I know that’s what is “suppose to happen”. I did know that cold sores were Herpes. I’ve never had one of those either, thankfully! However my ex husband always has them. I wouldn’t kiss him or anything when he’d have them. Now I’ve learned of shedding and that has me freaked out, because is that possibly how I got this. And he would never know. Idk... too much going through my mind and I can’t get it to stop!

@lifegoesonn I went in for my annual, as I do every year, but this time she called back telling me the news. I’ve neverhad an outbreak or any signs/symptoms. However, once I was told the news, I’ve been depressed and dwell on the fact that I have HSV1. About a week or so later I had an outbreak and it still hasn’t gone away. It has been since early September that this began. I haven’t gottwn to the point others are at. I am angry at whom ever gave it to me, mind you I’ve been sex free for almost a year now! I’m embarrassed and have no one to talk to about it. All I have is this group, which does help, but I just want to cry and have someone hold me and tell me that it will be okay. That I’m not dirty and disgusting. Instead I just have it swimming in my head. Hoping to get past this stage soon. :-(

@SPATX919 what brand coconut oil did you purchase. I bought something and it made my skin so irritated, I had to wash it off almost immediately. The itching and burning is driving me insane!!

@TXwoman what is BV?

I have no advice, as I am in the same situation. Hopefully someone can give us some insight to this!!

I’m so sorry that you, and he, are having to go through this. Even though a relationship isn’t possible, hopefully you can gain an amazing forever friend out of this.

@lifegoesonn I know exactly how you feel. I have been very careful and used protection all the time. By the time I found out I was infected I want even having sexual relations, and hadn’t in a long while. I am still so shocked and mortified by all of this!