First Herpes post

[sicarox]

I found out I'm HSV positive about four weeks ago. I'm not sure which one I have yet. I'm going to see my primary doctor during the holiday break to get that figured out. I'm not sure how soon I'll really be able to know because my blood tests were negative at the time of my primary episode so my doctor may not be able to give me an accurate blood test for a few months. Is that how it works? I think if I'm not having an episode (which I haven't had another one since the first one) they can't really tell which one it is so early in the virus.

 

I like to think that I'm being very practical and level headed about my diagnosis but, still, it's pretty strange. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I can only describe it as a roller coaster. I feel like one moment I'm okay with it and the next moment I'm feeling yucky about it. I haven't bounced back yet. I don't really feel like going out or anything but, at the same time I'm kind of lonely. Kind of dumb. I'm pretty sure it'll pass. I'm just really nervous about telling my loved ones. Like my best friend and sister/roomie. Oh gosh, I can't tell my mom anytime soon, that's for sure. Anyway, I've no clue what my thesis statement is of this post (can you tell it's the end of the semester?) But, I know it will feel wonderful getting this off my chest. So here it is: my name is Jessica and I have genital herpes.

[Peachyogurtisawesome]

You have such a beautiful name. :) one of my daughters is named jessica. welcome to the forum. You may find you can be completely level headed one minute and just crazy the next. And its normal. When i finally broke down and told mu beest friend since 4th grade i can say i felt relief and comfort. A lot of my bitterness and anger started to go away. I difnt tell anyone at first and for months it ate away at me. So talking about it will really help you. Some days u will find u go all day without thinking about it and some you may not be able to tear youraelf away from this forum lol. But you will have good days again. Great days lol. take care jess

[WCSDancer2010]

(((HUGS))) You are among friends here.... come and talk as much as you need. We are here for you! And I have a daughter names Jessica too :)

 

If you have a trusted friend, talk to them. You can print out copies of the diagnosis/disclosure papers that Adrial has made available here to show them.

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

 

And make sure you you download the Herpes e-book too

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

You are young - you can create this experience to be anything you want it to be. So make it a positive one..... but if you need to cry, beat a pillow, or whatever, do that too. It's all part of the process of acceptance of "what is". Just know that this too shall pass and that you are NOT alone!

 

Peace :)

[NexisLexis]

welcome to the group.

when I first found out the first thing I did was google celebritys who have HSV2. and boy I was shocked especially of a certain major league basball player who infected like 6 leading ladies in Hollywood. it made me feel better because ( H ) it doesn't discriminate its a equal opportunist. and if they can deal with it so can I. and it was one step forward in ending the stigma of having HSV2. hugs to you! glad you are here.

[sicarox]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I really appreciate them. I feel like I've been dealt some unfortunate hands in my life, but I've never found so much support and information from a community of fellow "sufferers" (I see it as suffering right now, but I KNOW my perspective will change, eventually). It's really awesome having this forum to come to.

 

WCSDancer2010 thanks for the links, I don't know why I've been procrastinating to read them. They're really informative and I'm going to have them on hand when I tell my bestie soon. Peachyogurtisawesome I hope I have the same experience when I tell my bestie, she's been my close friend since seventh-grade! I'm nervous, but I'm sure she'll be loving and understanding. It feels awesome telling strangers about my H status, I can only imagine how awesome it will be to tell my best friend.

 

NexisLexis I've read online about that major league baseball dude. I'm wondering how accurate that info is though. If those celebrities really are HSV positive, then they totally suck for not using their star power to break the stigma of the virus. I feel kind of hypocritical saying this, because I'm not ready to share my H status with the world, but it'd be awesome if everyone with the virus immediately made it public knowledge. We'd never feel alone. Maybe it wouldn't even be that big of a deal.

[NexisLexis]

^ totally agree with you. if they did the right thing and come out with boldness or awareness then the stigma would go away. it would turn out like oh you have that okay no biggie. yes it would of been nice of all of them to campaign together and bring this out to public attention to give support to those who already have it and to educate the public what it is and what its not.

[WCSDancer2010]

Sicarox said: "...it'd be awesome if everyone with the virus immediately made it public knowledge. We'd never feel alone. Maybe it wouldn't even be that big of a deal."

 

I've got a goal of eventually having an advertising campaign where this may actually happen.... Stage one was my own "Coming Out". I personally believe if everyone who knows they have Herpes came out, AND spread the word about the 80% who are undiagnosed, we could change the stigma in very little time. But I realize that not everyone can deal with that (I personally feel if someone walks away after they find out that they better move fast so the door doesn't hit them in the arse...LOL )

 

HIV has less of a bad rap (or at least better press) than Herpes. With each person that you reveal your status to, you chip away at the ignorance and mis-information. Keep lots of the Disclosure handouts available ... who knows what conversation you will have some day that will change a person's outlook on Herpes.

 

I would love to see young people like yourself working with your campus clinics to spread STD awareness..... it doesn't mean that you have to reveal your status - just make it about raising awareness... you can start by taking copies of the Diagnosis and Disclosure handouts to the clinic and ask them to hand them out to EVERY student who goes in there..... and ask them to include Herpes testing when folks go in for STD tests.... if you want to take that on, PM me if you need support :)

 

You sound like you will be fine. Yes - there is an adjustment period, but you seem pretty level headed. Breathe and trust that you will come to understand that being Positive can be a really Positive experience IF you choose that point of view!

 

 

[mr_hopp]

Speaking of, have you seen the Shamelessness Movement I set up? I haven't had the energy to concentrate on the Shamelessness Project and running the H Opportunity, but this is definitely a long-term goal of letting shame fade away and make room for deeper and deeper human connection across the board (not just with herpes).

 

The movement is all about people who are ashamed entering their profiles anonymously at first to show the impact that shame has on our culture. Then once a certain number is reached (10,000, 100,000, 1,000,000, whatever), everyone's profiles go public. Instant community to support one another. Powerful.

 

Here are the links describing it more in-depth:

YouTube video:

Website: http://herpesopportunity.com/the-shamelessness-project/