You never know when or how greatly your actions will impact someone ......

[WCSDancer2010]

You never know when or how greatly your actions will impact someone who is fighting their way out of their "closet"

 

I truly believe that Adrial and (H) Opp has the potential to do great things which none of us can foresee... just as Whoopie Goldgerg never saw this coming :)

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIDOdmhV130

[Aerial2013]

I LOVE this! Thx for sharing!

[Aerial2013]

Also, remember this episode where 200 men stood on Oprah w/Tyler Perry to shed the shame and stigma of having been abused? I have SO much respect for these men! Notice how they hold a pic of themselves as children? I'm truly not sure how that would work if everyone came out of the H closet at once like that...would we hold up a pic of the person who gave it to us?!?! HA! Yeah! Again, that might not represent a healthy "moving forward" kind of journey, you know? Just sayin'! LOL!

 

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Full-Episode-200-Adult-Men-Who-Were-Molested-Come-Forward-Video#comments

 

[WCSDancer2010]

Yes I remember that. and I'm a total fan of Iyanla Vanzant.

 

I have the hope tho of creating an advertisement where people (hopefully real Herpes carriers and not actors) of all ages, genders, etc, each declare individually declare " I'm Positive" ... at the end there is a message about Herpes. If done correctly, I think it could have quite an impact on the viewers....

 

Now to come up with the funding 8^/ :p

[mr_hopp]

Yep, that's what the Shamelessness movement is all about.

http://herpesopportunity.com/the-shamelessness-project/

 

I haven't been able to put much energy into it because I'm putting all my energy into supporting all of you on the forums and getting this home study course finished so more and more people can heal from the shame of herpes. But as we build more and more community support, we can certainly live in a world where a whole group of people (10,000 ... 100,000 ... 1,000,000) all step across the line at the same time from the shadows of shame into the light of okayness and acceptance. This will lead to instant awareness of the impact that shame has on our culture, instant community support with all those stepping out at the same moment.

 

This Shamelessness Project is a long-term goal because this kind of movement can only happen once we all melt away the shame we have trapped inside of us anyway. It's not the herpes that is holding the shame; herpes is just shining a brighter light on the parts of us we have always held shame around. And now we get to heal those parts as a community, together. And once a big enough contingency of us heals, then stepping out as a movement is inevitable. Because then there's nothing to hide but our own humanness. And that is also our beauty.

[Aerial2013]

Still feeling hesitation w/the Shamelessness Project...don't know if I can handle my kids knowing. Ugh, this shame thing constantly creeps in! If my kids find out, then they automatically find out other things. :( I'm most ashamed of degraded love, sought only out of absolute desperation to feel young, beautiful and ALIVE again! Never mind the fact that I didn't seek it until after I moved out & their dad and I were already working through our divorce. I'm just still feeling shame when I think of them knowing that I gave myself to someone of no good character, and he gave me H...

This may not be an appropriate thread to post this, but this is where it crept up again...thx for the mirror, H!

[mr_hopp]

That's the thing, Aerial. If you're not ready, then please don't feel any sort of pressure to join the movement. We all have our individual processes. For some, it's to come completely out into the light while for others it's to keep themselves private. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Like I said, this Shamelessness Project is a long-term goal. Once there are a million of us backing this project, then imagine the sea change of support that will emerge from that. There won't be anything to be ashamed of or hide from anymore because people will recognize how silly shaming herpes is in the first place. :)

[Aerial2013]

Thx Mr. Opp, no pressure other than being tired of wasting precious energy covering up sometimes. These last o/b symptoms were more painful and included flu-like stuff as well. Having to cover for why I felt bad took energy. Truth doesn't require that kind of energy, you know? I understand what you're saying, though, completely... And, Thx again!

[WCSDancer2010]

Ariel: I was going to PM you but I thought my reply might be useful for others to see.

 

Both my daughters know that I have Herpes. They are now 24 and 26. I think I told them when they were in their late teens. I used it as a way to have the STD/sex talk with them and to make sure they knew to get tested for everything when they go to the Dr. They don't think any less of me for it. It's just something Mom has to deal with and they see the pain I have been through with my own journey. And like you said, now if I am going through a painful time (for me it's more around relationships as my OB's are very minor) they understand and are empathetic. I don't have to hide anything.

 

And then when I came out on FB, while they may not *totally* understand (and are not "supporting" me by liking any posts) *I* understand it's because the stigma of it - especially about being open around having it and *GASP* talking about it openly...that is making them mildly uncomfortable. BUT, that is perhaps a place for THEM to grow, you see? They are grown ups and I can't/won't shield them from anything any more. Privately they support me ... funny how people can be, eh????

 

Anyhow, I don't know the ages of your kids but if they are adults, then perhaps this is the time to talk to them.... you ARE human after all and I think it's fair to say we ALL have made poor choices around our sex partners at some time or other...we just got unlucky in the H+ crap shoot :P But it's also fine if you don't reveal to them.... you have to take your own journey, and it's all GOOD! Just putting my experience out there and a few thoughts.... :)

[hope75]

That clip just made me choke up..what is it with this forum.. I'm always crying.. In a good way :-)

 

And the positive impact this place has on many of us in my eyes deserves recognition. The founder needs a knighthood .. Rise sir MR H opp !! :-)

 

 

Areal, we once again share similar stories '"I'm most ashamed of degraded love, sought only out of absolute desperation to feel young, beautiful and ALIVE again! Never mind the fact that I didn't seek it until after I moved out & their dad and I were already working through our divorce. I'm just still feeling shame when I think of them knowing that I gave myself to someone of no good character, and he gave me H... " We are again kindred spirits in our feelings towards our children knowing. My son is only ten, so I don't think this is the correct time for me !

 

 

[Aerial2013]

WCSDancer and Hope75, I LOVE you guys! WOW I feel blessed to be on here with such REAL people! My kids are 17 and 15, and I feel certain I will tell them eventually. I've told them everything else that's been major in my life journey, and I try to be very open and real with them, so I know the day will come. They are both still navigating the finality of the divorce, though, which will take another month or so in our state. I try to watch for doors that open naturally in the course of time with my kids, as those always seem to be a more natural way to move forward with them as they grow.

 

I want to come to an H opp weekend just so I can meet all of you!

[hope75]

Oww Areal, you've gone and made my eyes fill up again !!! that's so lovely of you to say. And you sound like a very good mum, I'm sure when ever that opening comes, they will handle it, because of the way you are with them. Oh and we are deffo kindred spirits in trying to be open and honest with our kids. I'd love to come to one of the weekends too.....bit of a trek for me though :-(

[Aerial2013]

I know...me too. Maybe someday though!!