I just found out that I also have HPV...help please

[Strawberrygirl]

I went to the gyn 3 days ago again, we discussed my results. Turns out i have hsv 1 and 2, and hpv.

I really feel lonely, i dont want to live anymore.

I cant believe it. I have two viruses now, how on earth will someone still want me now. I was kinda accepting my hsv.

But now this... The doctor told me that the HPV will most likely go away on its own within two years.

Im eating very healthy, taking echinacea and other vitamins as well as the HPV shots (which boost the immune system).

I seriously need advice from someone who has both diseases.

 

 

[Strawberrygirl]

i hear my cervical cancer are even higher with these two diseases now :(

did anyone here find love despite having these two?

If my hpv clears off within two years, does that mean im not contagious anymore?

[Strawberrygirl]

i know that im still a human being and deserving of love. but i dont want to pass on this.im considering either suicide or accepting a lonely life with no1 to share it with. Or maybe i can jst be dishonest...and always use condom with someone that is committed to me and loves me.

I told this to my aunt as well, pretty much all my family knows. My friends onlyknow about my hsv. My aunt is very mature and smart (studied at cambridge), she thinks just as my mom and sister that i dont need to tell this to potential partners before we have sex. Obviouslyill take things very slow and always use protection coz i care about their health too. But they recommend me to reveal it only after maybe 2 or 3 years, obviously within that time i will say that i prefer using condom instead of the pill because it messes with my body.

 

I know what you will say, no thats not right bla bla. But come on, apparently 80 % of people will have had genital HPV at some point in their lives. ill try my best to protect my partner, but im so sure no1 will love me within 4-6 months of being with me. It jst doesnt happen like that. And most people nowadays believe love is temporary, therefore why risk an std with someone that you wont be in love with forever.

I know i can make a guy in the future very happy, i have many qualities. But i also know they would be terrified to know i have two viruses, and i want a normal life. Therefore why reveal.

 

Im so screwed. At least hsv is manageable, but hpv can give me cancer and its not sure whether it goes away forever.

[Strawberrygirl]

Just so you know more about me, ive always been perceived as a very sweet, kind, warm and loving person. Always been seen as clean, decent and a good girl by all my peers and relatives. You have no idea how bad i feel. I slept with two guys after my ex. One of them took off the condom while we were having sex (i was drunk and didnt notice until after). The guy denies he has anything, although he had a bump on his lip, so most likely he is the one who gave me all of this.

 

I just want my normal life back and be happy.

[Strawberrygirl]

im beginning to understand in my journey that happiness is a choice whatever u may face...even if its AIDS. I watched a documentary not so long ago of a man who contracted AIDS from a sex partner and he was in prison. He knew he was going to die, but surprisingly he became very spiritual and seemed incredibly HAPPY and at peace with himself and life.

 

I know i can work on my own happiness without the need of a partner. But i cant lie, my biggest desire in life was to become a mom and have a big family. Im very maternal since i was very small. And now because of an irresponsible and cruel guy i have all those plans ruined.

 

Everyone continually tells me im beautiful in all aspects, now i feel rather ugly despite what everyone tells me.

[victoriaxxx]

I know someone who has HSV and HPV... They live a perfectly happy and good life. They are doing fine.. he also has a wife that is HPV and HSV negative.

 

There is always someone out there that will love you, but first you must love yourself..

I am sorry I don't really know what else to say about the HPV.. I just really hope that you look up. Feel better and realize that there is a lot of things in life that you can still do and love. <3

[Klopz]

Victoriaxxx is right!! Take a deep breath and know that everything is going to be okay. Someone will love you regardless of anything else. Loving yourself is the first step! Plus this is the time to live, do things you have always wanted to do but never did, travel, do something crazy fun. Just learn to enjoy your life and live it to the fullest. Focus on you and the right person will come when you least expect it. You have a lot of support here from all of us.

 

Lots of hugs for you sweet girl!!

[WCSDancer2010]

I'm flying out the door and will give a full reply later but really, don't panic. this is just another blip.

 

Heres a great website for HPV info

 

http://www.thehpvsupportnetwork.org/index.html

[Strawberrygirl]

ok thanks to you all. I read that HPV is linked to throat cancer too. :(

And it can cause infertility. i had no idea. im even more scared now.

[HerryTheHerp]

HSV1 is very common. Between 60-70% of America has it. HSV2 is also very common. Between 20-25% of America has it. Those are some big numbers. Those are some really big numbers.

 

And HPV? 79 million Americans already have an HPV infection. That's right. 79 million, and like HSV1 and 2, most don't know it. That's roughly 1/2 of everyone in America over 18. There are over 40 types of HPV, and only a few have the potential to cause problems. In fact, most strains of HPV are cleared by your body in just a couple of years.

 

So, take a breath. Take a deep, deep breath.

 

You've hit a moment. A moment we all hit. That moment when we realize our mortality and our frailty. It's a tough moment, and we all go through it. Whether we're 18 and we find out we have HPV, or 80 and the doctor says it's cancer; that moment finds us all. It's that moment when we realize that our bodies are not infallible. It's that moment when the Disney fairy tale comes crashing down in front of our eyes. It's that moment when we realize we're human.

 

Still, there's a big silver lining here. It's a big one and you need to look up in the sky because it's right there for you to see. First, HSV1 and 2 aren't going to hurt you. Yes, they can cause emotional, and the occasional physical discomfort. There is absolutely no evidence; let me state that again, there is absolutely no evidence that HSV1 or 2 make HPV worse or more dangerous. I've read through plenty of research, and haven't found a shred to substantiate that concern.

 

So, keep eating healthy. Keep exercising. Keep an eye on the HPV, and if a problem arises, you'll have the ability to deal with it immediately. The good news is that you know. As GI Joe said, "knowing is half the battle." That knowledge will keep you in tune with your body, and if something comes up you can take care of it right away. I've known 3 women who had cervical cancer all before 25. All three caught it early, found wonderful men afterwards, and now all three have 1-3 children each and very happy marriages with men I'm more than happy to call friends.

 

As far as partners, well, relationships that last are built on honesty. Not telling a partner is a big "no no." Disclosure is cardinal rule #1 if you have permanent STD's like everyone else in this forum. It's an integrity issue, and it's a line you don't ever cross because it's a slippery slope into other "little white lies." Never try and build a relationship on a cracked foundation because eventually that crack will bring the house down.

 

I fully agree with you that modern love can be fleeting. But lasting love is accepting. If your partner won't accept a minor skin condition, a commonly accepted cold sore, or a non-harmful virus like HPV (that odds are, he already has) then how will they accept the "biggies" life throws at all of us that range from Cancer to MS, and Alzheimer's to heart disease? Do you really want that kind of man standing by your bedside when you're 90 years old and the doctor comes into your hospital room? No, you don't, and neither does anyone else in this forum. If that moment ever comes, you want a warrior by your side who's gonna say "Cancer? We're gonna beat this thing together."

That's the kind of man you're looking for, and contrary to what you may think, there are still a few of us around.

 

As far as not being attractive? Well, I'm a guy. You know what we really find attractive? You know what Cosmo doesn't tell you? I mean, what really sets our hearts pounding in our chest? Sure, the boobs, the butts, and the beauty get the engine started through lustful eyes, but they don't keep it going for very long. What keeps it going month after month, and year after year is the woman you are inside. That's the woman who is smart, funny, kind, honest, compassionate, gentle, and strong. Those are the qualities of a woman a man really falls in love with. Those are the qualities we start families with, raise children with, and take our last breaths on this mortal coil thanking God we found.

 

Your ex was a bastard. Many of the people on this forum can relate, myself included. We all kissed a toad and came up with warts and a few blisters (oh yeah, I went there!) Even though you feel alone, you are far from it and there's lots of people who share the same story. But, now you know what a toad looks like. Now you know what a toad acts like. Having that knowledge will help you spot a true prince when you find him.

 

So, put one foot in front of the other and keep walking. Learning these lessons is what life is all about, and the journey is truly worth all the stumbles and falls we take along the way because when we get up to see St. Pete at the end of our walk, the first thing he's going to ask is "What did you learn? What did you discover about yourself, about humanity, and about love?"

 

 

 

 

[Strawberrygirl]

Thank you HerrytheHerp, what you wrote about love and life really moved me and calmed me down. I agree completely with everything you said.

Im glad to know that my risks of cancer are not higher because of hsv and that half the population has it. I am not too concerned about hsv, i think that with the right precautions it should be okay. I love your perspective of life and the way you write. Its beautiful, thanks for inspiring me.

[victoriaxxx]

HPV is linked to a lot of cancer and a lot of different things. There are over 100 types of HPV.. including genital warts. I think you could use that support group for HPV also. (: Your welcome. I hope you look up.

 

 

@HerryTheHerp - you should become an author !

[WCSDancer2010]

Ok - Forum Mom stepping up here. Just got back and fully read this and I feel I need to hand out a little tough love here:

 

#1 - I hope you re-read Herry's post again and again until you get what he said down to your core. Really.

 

So. addressing your mom and your "smart" aunt. Sorry but they don't know the truth about these things. Would you go to a car mechanic to ask about brain surgery? Uh. No. You go to a surgeon and to people who have had the surgery. OK?

 

"I told this to my aunt as well, pretty much all my family knows. My friends onlyknow about my hsv. My aunt is very mature and smart (studied at cambridge), she thinks just as my mom and sister that i dont need to tell this to potential partners before we have sex. Obviouslyill take things very slow and always use protection coz i care about their health too. But they recommend me to reveal it only after maybe 2 or 3 years, obviously within that time i will say that i prefer using condom instead of the pill because it messes with my body.

 

Condoms DON'T give 100% protection from either HSV OR HPV. And really? So now you are with a guy for several years and you are talking about having a family and all of a sudden you reveal you have either of these and they have to deal with trying to have a family with this news? REALLY? That's just not playing fair. The "right" man for you will deal with you having this before you get intimate. I promise.

 

So here's the deal in more detail that Herry gave. According to the CDC pretty much EVERYONE will get HPV at some time in their life. There are actually about 100 types of HPV...about 30-40 types (depending on what you read) that affect the genitals. About 2 of them create genital warts (which are easily frozen off). About 4-6 *can* create cancer.

 

So regarding the cervical cancers. Really. If you get regular Pap smears AND HPV screening, you will be ok. Cervical cancer is VERY treatable in the early stages. 30% will disappear on their own. 30% will resolve with Folic Acid (a nutritional supplement) treatment. And the rest will become cancerous. However, it is a very slow growing cancer... taking about 5 years to get to "stage 1". So if you catch it in that pre-cancer stage, you have plenty of time to try the Folic Acid route and if that doesn't' work you get them frozen off.

 

I had an "irregular Pap smear" once. Dr wanted to freeze them off...but he himself had told me earlier this info regarding resolving with Folic Acid. I went to a Naturopath and got the treatment - went back a year later and Voila! No more abnormal cells :)

 

So really, it is sooo totally not half the issue you think it is. Yet again, the stigma and drug companies create a fear mongering about this that is waaaay out of proportion to reality. 2 years and you should be scott free. Just make sure to get regular Pap and HOP screenings.

 

Go look around that web site I sent you. It has a lot of good info. And BREATHE!

 

(((HUGS)))

[WCSDancer2010]

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[WCSDancer2010]

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[WCSDancer2010]

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[WCSDancer2010]

Sorry - something weird happened there :p

 

Can you erase them Adrial?

[victoriaxxx]

Thanks forum mom ! (:

 

I agree with her. That is not something that you want to just hide.. I grew up with my mom having herpes also. She always told me no matter what the STD is.. That you need to always inform them ahead of time. That would only be fair like she said. It would also be hurtful to the man to know a few years down the road " OMG... My girlfriend or wife has HPV and HSV, and I never knew about it?"

There would be a trust issue after that also if he never got it.. He would probably wonder "What else had this girl not told me ?"

[WCSDancer2010]

He would probably wonder "What else had this girl not told me ?"

 

Exactly!

[fyrefenyx]

Starwberry

 

Ok lets take a deep breath...you are going to be OK I am diagnosed with HPV and HSV2

My diagnosis of HPV was around 2005 HSV2 was at the end of Oct this year

 

When I got the diagnosis about HSV2 I did read that there was a possibility that it could cause the HPV to go haywire and cause cervical cancer to go rampid BUT at the same time if I took care of myself with proper supplements, diet, and exercise I'd be doing a huge part in taking care ofyself to have less opportunistic sicknesses come into my body

 

 

 

These diagnoses have also made me take a look at my lifestyle: not just with diet and exercise but in sexually too...there's not one of us in here who'd love to play back the clock and go to a time that we were all dis-ease free. But we cant and the only thing I can do to prevent outbreaks is living a healthier lifestyle

 

80% of the population has HPV. As long as you keep up with your paps and check ups you will be OK My paps pop up normal but if you run the smear or blood test, it will pop up saying I have HPV...Take for instance, if we run a test on me for chix pox, it will say I have had the chix pox. WHAT Im trying to say is this, HPV has lived in my hody since 2005 my tests always say I have the virus but it is not actively causing me problems. The

 

However, it is a lot to take in and process to be told that you carry 3 STIs. It will take time to process but remember, we are all here to support each other and you still have a fruitful life aheado you.

 

Btw, moondancer, I thought someone was going to post success stories about diagnosises (however you sp it)?

[fyrefenyx]

Sorry i meant wcsdancer**

[WCSDancer2010]

tNd

 

I was looking for successful disclosure/relationship stories.... still working on that one but I am mostly doing that by keeping track of the discussions that pop up about them now ;)

 

BTW, not all HPV will cause cancer - only about 4 of the 40 or so gential strains *might* become cancerous... the rest just hang out and don't seem to do much...