Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

My Herpes Talk Success Story

Recommended Posts

Hello Everyone!


Many of you may know me from previous posts, and some of you may not. I am here to tell of a recent blessing and successful disclosure that recently happened in my life that I am sure everyone can benefit from hearing, It is a story of never giving up, always believing, having faith, and a perception is everything.


Several months ago, I broke up with my on/off again boyfriend of 3 years. I was left to face "herpes" all by myself. I did not know what to do. My boyfriend had been my "safe place" for long. Maybe a month later, I started talking to this guy. A few weeks after talking, he was talking about coming to Chicago for Christmas, which was in about a month (he was in the Navy.) So, naturally, I was thinking "I have to tell this guy." Our conversation flew great, we Skyped a lot and texted a whole lot. Well, one day, the conversation of STDs came up. Initially, I lied and said I did not have any...I was caught off guard and did not know what to say. That whole week I knew I had to tell him...my heart was pounding, I was crying, and going into complete disaster mode. I did not want to be rejected. For some reason, the topic came up again, so that was my window to disclose. I came out and told him. He asked a ton of questions. I gave him the time he needed and answered them all. He seemed ok for a couple weeks, and then all of a sudden I noticed he was "off." I told him that if he could not take the risk then don't and he said that "it was too great a risk." I was devastated. I cried a whole lot. I wanted to call my Ex and say take me back! You are the only one who has ever and will ever accept me! I thought I was doomed to be alone forever. Not to mention that when I tried to tell my dad not to long after that...he scolded me, so I was an utter mess.


Well, I decided I was not going to give up. If one person could accept me, someone else HAS to. I went to Online dating again...done it a few times....and started talking to this one guy. The conversation flowed excellently. We talked day and night..texting...then eventually phone calls started. I really felt comfortable telling him everything and anything. He had made plans to come to my state...since he lived in a state 6 to 8 hrs away. I proceeded to tell him "I have something that I think is important for you to know but I think I should wait to tell you until you get to know me better." He said that nothing I told him was going to change his opinion of me. This made me feel at ease, but I still had doubts. I really wanted to wait until he got here to tell him in person (we would have been talking for about 3 full weeks) but he asked me a question that led the window right opened. He asked me "If you could be a spokes woman for anything that you are passionate about, what would it be?" I said "STDS" He said "That's interesting. Why?" I go "I know a lot of people with STDs and I have had a few. Would you date anyone with an STD?" He said "Actually I would." So I proceeded to say "Well Actually I have an STD. Would you like to know which one?" Then I said "I have Genital Herpes." And proceeded to tell him how long I have had it, and he went on to say "It does not change my opinion of you. It is what you have. It does not change who you are."


After that, he came out here to see me...we had an EXCELLENT weekend. We even had sex, protected of course, and all throughout he just made me feel so good telling me how sexy I was and how good looking I was and he even at one point said he "liked my vagina." hahaha and now we are "official." He's an amazing guy and I never would have found him if I would have let my first disclosure get me down and define me as "unworthy of love."


SOOOO if that isn't a HUGE turnaround I do not know what is!!! And I believe I should share this because I know that there are a lot of people out there thinking that they will never find anyone to accept them....as I thought..and probably still would be thinking if I didn't go out there and try again! We cannot sit around and let herpes define us...but teach us things about ourselves instead. Teach us bravery. Courage. Strength. Patience. Compassion. We are all beautiful. We are all worthy. We are all deserving of love. It will happen. Just have faith and never give up! :)

Link to comment

Thanks everyone! Your support means so much!


It is the most amazing feeling to find someone who accepts you once you feel like everyone is rejecting you. You also are able to appreciate that person so much more for not caring about the "stigma" and caring about the person you are. I hope everyone finds their someone!


@bellam never give up :) look at it as H saving you from potential disasters! I am so glad that first guy rejected me because I was able to find someone sooo much better! Best of luck!! Xx

Link to comment

@simplyme24 I have found that someone. I didn't even wait five minutes after finding out I have genital HSV-2 to tell him.. He took it in.. Told me not to warp it into my head that he doesn't want me any more. Told me I am amazing. Told me that there is nothing that would lead him away from me. It was a huge relief. I


I thought he was just being nice at first and then was going to just disappear later.. but he is still by my side.

Link to comment



There are a LOT more than a "few", believe me. It's only in our heads that the stigma is that bad. Honest. I bought into that until I came out publicly and you would be amazed at the number of people whose friend/brother/father/cousin/roommate/etc has it .... and who just look at you and say "Yeah, I hear there's a lot of it around" and shrug it off. Now some might be nervous about dating someone but they are all reasonable enough to get educated further about it in part because they already know someone with it and realize that 1) they are not "dirty" people and 2) it doesn't affect their every day life 99% of the time (yeah - I know, newbies may not agree, but it DOES get better and in the grand scheme of things, its a blip in your lifetime) ;)

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I have had good and bad experiences with telling a person about my cookies (nickname for genital herpes) so i think its a luck of the pluck lol finding a person u feel comfortable enough to express a secret that haunts your mind of not being worthy or beautiful…i fall into that state of mind once in a while so this was a que to bounce bk and try again and always remember that this is something i have and doesn't make me who i am as a woman or person -Thank you simplyme24

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

I am glad you can have a "bounce back"! Never give up! That is one thing I have learned. Herpes def helped me weed out the bad from the good....and I couldnt be happier right now. Your guy is out there...just have confidence in who you are as a person and never give up!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...