My story, just like many others, we all have one to tell

[zyphen]

We all have a story to tell, and this is how mine starts. I've always been careful, and never just had random sex, but like people have said, life is a risk in itself.

 

Meet a girl may of last year, I was not looking for a relationship, but things just happened. We ended up dating in June, well shortly after, I noticed what many people have seen before, a bump on the genitals. I started getting nervous about it, and told her what I saw; ended up going to the doctors and getting checked out. About a week later found out what it was. no need to say it, otherwise wouldn't be here. Well she started freaking, wondering why I would still want to be with her. She got checked out, called ex's and found out where it came from. she's never had any signs or symptoms, so when she was checked out, she was asymptomatic. I told her if we could get through this as a couple, we could get through anything...and we did... The relationship was great, had a very active sex life still. I treated her like she was always my number one priority and she did same for me. 5 months later she got an out of country job. Thinking we could still make this work long distance. First two months were great, always talking, texting, calling... Then about two weeks ago she ended it. I'll leave that part of this short story out.

 

Yes I am devastated because of this, heart broken, she was the love of my life. I've been hurt before, but never like this. I think about her all the time, hopeful we can one day get back together, and yes I've had a hard time concentrating on anything else...

 

Yes it sucks that this has happened, and yes finding a relationship in the future will be challenging...however I still have a lot going on for me, so I try and stay focused on the positive things I have going. This does not change who I am as a person.. I am 26, veteran in the military, still serve, work out all the time to stay in shape, completed my associates degree last year, and I am now working towards becoming an RN. The right person will come along and see what I really have to offer... and if they are worth a damn can look past this small issue. Knowing what I have learned from school and just researched myself and talked to my professors about, its only a hindrance if we let it, medications are out there that help control it, and medical research has come a long way over the years.

 

I really hate this saying, but, If we are meant to get back together in the future, It will happen, just have to go through the healing process like everyone else.

[victoriaxxx]

You are on the right track ! I just wanted to say that. Yes it hurts. Yes sometimes I break down. My mother who has had it for over 25 years still breaks down now from time to time.. It's the stigma we have to get over. && even if you guys don't get back together there is someone out there who would love to be with you and help you along with your achievements. Who would love to back you up.

 

I love hearing other peoples stories, because I am so glad that you are still working towards your goals. I feel as if that is a good start. It will help the healing process, because you are worth so much more !

[zyphen]

I was fortunite enough to make it home from deployment...this is minor compared to that. Well, I am getting into the medical field, so most of the people I will be working with should be somewhat educated about it, making it easier.

[victoriaxxx]

Good for you !

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

its only a hindrance if we let it, medications are out there that help control it, and medical research has come a long way over the years.

 

That is a GREAT attitude to have! And yes, your profession will put you in a place where more people will understand but don't think that all medical professionals really understand or know the facts about herpes...many are HORRIDLY out of date about the facts surrounding asymptomatic shedding, condom use, and such :(

 

Welcome to the forums... we are here to support you through the bad days and cheer you on through the good ones :)

[HerryTheHerp]

Thank God! We needed a little more testosterone in these forums. Starting to feel like a darned sorority in here. It's one step shy of showing up at a tupperware party for us guys. Just yesterday I had a gal message me asking what I thought about eye shadow, rouge, and the difference between various diets.

 

Welcome to the group. There's a lot of good people here and while we never like to "welcome" anyone to the H family, we're glad you're here.

[Orngpeelmafia]

Welcome to our forum!!! :) can you do me a favor? Say "herpes"...good. One more time "herpes"...still giving you that tummy roll? Words only have as much power as you give them. As long as you keep treating the words herpes as "he who must not be named" real name in Harry potter then it's gonna keep having the same effect. I couldn't say herpes for the first six months after being diagnosed. Then I could type it or blurt it out quick if I needed to like during a disclosure. Then I came here and now I can actually say herpes out loud and type it and ya know what? It's just a word and it's just a virus. :) take control of your life one step at a time and it sounds like you're well on your way don't let small things hold you back now!!!!!

 

<3 love and good vibes

[victoriaxxx]

Hehehehe. Herry !

[zyphen]

Thanks for all the nice words. Im glad I can help with the testosterone issue lol. Yes I can say herpes. :). From all the posts ive read, a lot of people seem pretty knowledgeable and have good life experiences.

[zyphen]

So I talked to my ex the other day, and asked her why since we she broke up with me was some dude all over her FB now liking everything. To keep certain aspects of the story out of this, I just saw a pic of them together, not kissing or anything but pretty darn close to each other. got real mixed feelings about this now... After almost 8 months of dating, and pretty much being inseparable... to this... It seems like since shes in another country, she is just trying to have fun now..I know its her doing as well, but I kind of want to message this guy and tell him off...he should have respected the relationship or w.e.....but I know that wont solve anything...but seriously.... wtf...........I feel like punching something..... and yes...I know...looking at that stuff is only hurting myself.

[cc123]

Zyphen.. I can relate to your story even though mine's a little different. I found out I had H in November of 2013 while dating someone I had been seeing for several months. When I disclosed to him he seemed to take it well and said he was OK with it and not to worry. Slowly but surely though, he started pulling back, was too 'busy' to hang out, stopped texting constantly, etc. Things finally ended last week when I confronted him via text after not seeing him for over 2 weeks. He claimed he had realized he didn't want anything serious right now and that he's super busy with other things. I'm heartbroken. He's the first guy I've really really liked (maybe even loved) since my last long term relationship a few years back. So I know how you're feeling. It's so hard.

 

As for the whole FB thing... damn social media is such a killer isn't it? I find myself constantly checking my guy's twitter and IG like a stalker (ugh sounds so pathetic). My advice is to not say anything to the guy/message him, as badly as you might want to. It will just make things worse and will strain things between you and her even more. If you need to get your feelings out, come on here and vent or talk to a friend. Even saying something to her will be better than going behind her back and saying something to him.

 

I think I connected to your story so much because we have a lot in common.. I'm 25 (26 next month!) and just graduated from nursing school. Already failed my boards once because I found out about my H a couple weeks before and couldn't even get out of bed for a couple weeks, let alone concentrate on studying. Now the breakup a few weeks before my second test date. Great timing, right? Anyways, I hope things get better for you. In the meantime, this forum works wonders if you ever need advice or some positive words.

 

xo

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

he should have respected the relationship

 

What relationship? You guys are broke up.... unless he was your best bud (and even then I'm not sure it applies) noone owes you or your "relationship" anything. That said, she's rebounding... I wouldn't want to be him for any money in the world.

 

Honey, stay away from FB... I know it's tempting ( I think many of us have done it to some extent at one time or other for all kinds of reasons) but let her be. Respect HER moving on. I know it sucks (Been there, done that) but you need to work on YOU and taking care of you..... and, as you said, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

 

(((HUGS))) my friend....

[cc123]

@WCS, I have not visited the forum in several weeks but I did miss that tough love of yours :). Always refreshing.

[WCSDancer2010]

AS Dr Phil says... "Lets just call a spade a shovel" ...LOL

[zyphen]

@cc123, @WCSDancer2010, Thank you for the advice, I took some time to think about. I took her off my FB so I don't have to see anything anymore. She had been texting me every 4-5 days, and she texted me last night. (not regular texts, through an app, international rates are a bitch)

Trying to keep in the woooooosahhhh mind frame, I asked her to not contact me for a few weeks, because hearing from her every couple days was not helping me get over it. Then I said, once time has passed, I will contact you when I am ready. Lets just see how long this lasts though lol, I don't want another message in a week asking me how I am doing, when she already knows the answer.

 

@cc123, Yes, I can relate to your story in a way as well, and some of those experiences. I bit my tongue and took yalls advice. Ill stay away from FB lol. Birthday next month? your a march baby too!! :D..

Congrats on finishing RN school! I don't even want to think about the NClex right now!!, I've heard its a hard test. You already have the knowledge, you will do fine on the second attempt, you know what to expect. Hey, when I get to pharmacology you can help me with that, or some studying advice on it. I hope things get better for you as well, you will own the NCLEX this time!

 

@WCSDancer2010, I shall stay away from the evil that is FB, take the tough love in stride.

One thing I did to help me move on emotionally, and mentally is that I got baptized on Sunday, big step I know.

 

I shall move on to responding to more posts here, maybe I can help others as much as you and everyone else has helped me and others like me.

 

Auf Weiderson meine freundins.

[WCSDancer2010]

Good for you. And to be honest, sounds like she was keeping in touch to keep the door open. You just shut the door and she may just need that to figure out what she lost. And if not, well, she obviously isn't "the one".

 

(((HUGS))) - I don't envy you now - been there done that... it's just the sucky part we have to go through to get us ready for "the one"