trying to get my sexy back..

[willow]

I was finally over a 4 yr relationship, i thought to myself... "ok, its been a yr and a half, i can start dating again.." so i did, im 24, started seeing a 42 yr old. We dated for about 4 or 5 months, It was good while it lasted but living and hour away from eachother wasnt working. So after not seeing this man for almost 3 months, i felt lonely, my friend (and neighbor) invited me over dec 23, for drinks and a game of pool, one thing lead to another and next thing i know i woke up thinking "wow, i just had a stupid one night stand just because i was lonely!?" I mean how low could i get? The 2 minuite walk home made me reflect on how i wasnt going to let that happwn again, lonely at christmas or not.

On dec 27th i noticed a tiny little bump, instead of ignoring it i made an apt with my doc that morning, in all honesty thinking maybe it was a wart( which i had recieved 7 yrs ago thanks to an old bf cheating) my doctor's sub took a look and told me not to worry, but swabbed me anyways, then the bump dissapeard a couple days later.

on jan 3rd, i was on my lunch break from work when my doc called.. i was just pulling into the driveway. " hi ******, its your doctor, i have your swab results back and uve been tested positive for herpes symplex 2."

I cried, i was shocked, i screamed "NOOO! WHY??!!" So loud that my dad heard me, i shook my head and ran to my room, balled my eyes out, i was in so much disbelief, i callesd my one night stand and said what i had just found out and he kept ensuring me he was clean ... " i dont care if youre clean! Im not! Get tested!"

Needless to say he was an asshole about it, found out hewas sleeping with another girl already, a close aquaitence of mine, i felt obligated to inform her.

when i called my very much older ex, he was fine with the news!

" well youre not on youre death bed, and neither am i, ill makw an apt tomorrow , cheer up girl, its not the end of he world"

I called a sex opt line a couple weeks later, they gave me a lot of info on the virus which is how i found this amazing (h) opportunity site.

asking questions here gave me bravery to find a new doc ( mine was very judgemental and not supportive).

This new doc helped me to get a blood test type specific, both of wich have come back hsv 1- and hsv2-.

Confusing right??..

I just saw him again this morning, we've decided to do another blood test around june or july, he figured with all the uncertainty im going through, that a propper result will help me in my future, the blood test results should be very clear in the next few months, because it takes time for antibodies to show up.

so for now im assuming i have hsv2, and thanks to (h) opportunity, i am more than ok with it.

if it turns out to be negative again, i feel almost as though im going to miss having it so to speak haha. Weird i know, but ive learned sooo much from everyone here im not scared, and if i finally meet someone im almost excited to share my story with them just because its an amazing feeling to have knowledge under my belt!

I no longer think of herpes to be grose, dirty, disgusting or awefull, i think of it as any ol life long "thing" that makes us who we are, for example im going to have green eyes for life, celiac disease for life, my freckles on my arms, and so forth...

sorry this post is so dang long, just wanted to share, get it off my chest, and let others know...

we can ALL get our sexy back as long as we dont let the "dark side" take hold of our souls!

xox

[WCSDancer2010]

Proud of you Chica :)

 

 

[rainyfeather]

Willow every time I read your posts, they are narrated by Apple Jack from My Little Pony! HA! Good to read that you are staying positive. I think that the more we as a group read positive outcomes or even outcomes that made people stronger, it is a good thing for everyone.

[willow]

Im not sure who that is.. but glad it made u laugh!? Haha

[WCSDancer2010]

Applejack - My litttle pony :)

 

[rainyfeather]

Yup thats the voice all right

[trina722]

I've had hsv1 for over a year and just found this site recently because i was googling ways to discourse to this guy i'm seeing. Finding this site has been a blessing because though i'm not necessarily excited to tell him i feel so much more ready and willing!

Just wanted to share that im feeling the same way!