Dealing with a long first outbreak and the realization that I have herpes.

[DecievedAndDealing]

Well I'm on about day 9 of a very painful first outbreak. I am so miserable I can't take it anymore. The doctor diagnosed me yesterday and started me on medication, I'm on day 2 of 10. I'm curious if anyone has experience with Valtrex and if they found quick relief with it or not. I'm beyond over this outbreak. Peeing is unbearable and I've tried the tricks to help but I'm pretty sure I have an open sore by the opening of my urethra. At this point it's a mental struggle to pee because my body is so done with feeling pain. I have tons of healing blisters and I'm beginning to feel like they'll never heal. I've taken two days off work and skipped a couple classes to avoid worsening things. To top it off I started my period today so that's one more thing to deal with. I've read that it's beneficial to go commando when possible but I was wondering how that's possible because I've had so much discharge that I had to start wear pads. This whole process has been awful. My ex-boyfriend lied to me about being sti clean and now here I am suffering and feeling absolutely deceived. I don't know how to trust people when they're will to lie about things like this. I haven't taken this news well at all, all I want to do is cry all the time and I don't want to spend the rest of my life having to give a herpes disclosure. I already have to give a rape disclosure and my ex is the first person I slept with after I went through all that and was so thankful to not be pregnant or have an sti. Now here I am one partner later with an sti for life and in unbelievable pain.

[willow]

Welcome @DecievedAnddealing

 

Breathe girl! ..... take a good long breath.....

 

Everyone here, is here for eachother, you are NOT alone!!!!

Im so soorry to hear u are going through all this pain right now! It will get better..

 

1st.. as for the painfull pee, have you tried peeing in the shower/bath? Might sound strange, but the water dilutes the acidicy and its wayyyyy easier!

alot of ppl here keep saying though, after a shower blow drying your "downstairs" area on low heat will help keep u dry

 

2nd.. yes comando helps, but so does cotten underwear!

 

3rd.. you're ex bf may not have known he had it, because when clinics test for std/sti's they dont check for herpes unless you specifically ask.. he could have been a carrier and not known, heck you could have even had it from before and are only showing symptons now. Its hard to hear i know, but thats the tricky part of hsv.

 

I know @WCSDancer2010 will be posting on here soon, shes a super helpfull lady!

 

Here's a video from @Adrial, it helped me so much in my time of darkness..

http://herpeslife.com/video-herpes-facts/

 

[jded_jada]

@DecievedAndDealing I totally get where you are coming from and I am so srry about what you had to go thru and what you are dealing with now. First of all, let me say i also feel your anger and frustration bc this ex didnt take the time to test him self properly. (Thats like the common excuse around with Herpes) Not knowing and not testing. Ive been dealing with this for a little over 10 months and the 1st episode (i hate the term outbreak) i had was the worst the rest were managable. The Valtrex worked for me fairly quickly with the dosage my dr gave me but aloe gel also helped me a lot. I wouldn't even begin to think about trust and disclosing now bc this is something that makes you suspicious of everyone and their actions so I would just focus on you and your recovery until you feel better no matter how long it takes. I have trust issues as well and I know im nowhere near comfortable with the fact i have to deal with this everytime i stress out much less tell someone. Just work and focus on you! A lot of people say it gets better I dont believe that yet but there are success stories so its really just about waiting to see.

[WCSDancer2010]

@DecievedAndDealing

 

First - Welcome ... glad you found us and so sorry you are having a miserable time of it. Know that it WILL get better. And realize that while you have had this about 9 days, it's a very small blip in the timeline of your life - the average person will live 7,000 weeks ... you are in your 2nd week with this. So my first piece of advice is to try to realize that while it sucks right now, you WILL get beyond this ...

 

@willow is right ...your ex may not have known he had Herpes. Have you talked to him to ask him? You see, the problem is that most Dr's don't do Herpes as part of the regular STI panel unless you ask for it and even then some just won't do it unless you have visible signs of an OB. The CDC actually recommends that people not be tested without a good reason. Its a battle we over here are working on but it's one of many things we are doing to try to chance the face of Herpes.... @jded_jada ... it's not an "excuse" .... it's a sad result of the CDC's policy...which is what Dr's (and insurance companies) use as their point of reference when coming out with their treatment and testing protocols :(

 

Did the Dr do a swab/blood test so you can determine which kind you have? I would recommend a swab AND IGG - if the IGG comes out negative you got it recently (last 4 months) ... if it's a strong positive you likely had it awhile. If it's HSV1 you may have got it from Oral sex in which case your ex (or whoever) may not have known that "coldsores" can be transferred to the genitals. Given you say it's your ex, I would assume you have had this at least awhile as most people have their first OB within a week or so of exposure. So there is a lot of grey area about where you may have got it... and in the end, you may just have to let go of the upset of where you got it and move on ... it doesn't help to hold onto that part .... ;)

 

I would try using a really thick diaper cream (like butt paste) on the area around your urethra ... it may help you to pee... and as @willow said, pee in the bath-tub/shower and then dry off with a warm blow drier. And try Epsom Salts baths ... sit in the tub and drop a few handfuls of salts between your legs and let it soak...it will help it to dry out. Your Dr may also be able to give you a script for Lidocaine that will help reduce the pain.

 

I know you are struggling and I am sorry that you got this on top of your past rape experience... but know that just as the rape doesn't define you or make you less lovable, neither does Herpes. And having been through the rebuilding and healing of rape, you have the tools to work through this and come out the other side stronger and more powerful than before.

 

(((HUGS)))

[DecievedAndDealing]

I want to first off thank everyone for their advice and support, it really does mean a lot. I think the main reason I'm struggling with this is because after you're raped, if you choose to tell the authorities you have a rape kit done. It's a miserable experience that includes 13 different pills, 11 of them being antibiotics to fight potential sti's. Then they do the initial sti tests, and 3 months later you have to come back for another and more blood work to be sure you didn't contract anything. All my tests came back negative including herpes. After all of that it's no surprise that my sex life became nonexistent. When I met my ex boyfriend and sex became a part of my life again I went right back to being super careful. I'm on the pill and we used condoms up until about a month in when we had a long conversation about what it would take for me to feel comfortable not using condoms. This involved him being tested. It is possible that he didn't get a blood test to check for herpes but considering all the lies that came out as things ended a couple months ago I wouldn't be surprised if he lied. That being said my real disappointment comes from being super careful and still ending up in this situation. When I was raped it was the first time I had had sex without a condom and I had been sexually active for 4 years. Just seems a bit unfair and is hard to swallow BUT I can't change my past I can only influence my future so I'm fortunate to have found this forum for support.

As far as my outbreak/episode goes, I'm feeling better today then I have. Unfortunately my body had reached it's peeing pain limit this morning so I've spent most the day convincing myself that I can pee with some pain now or deal with a bladder infection after this is over. Eventually it gave in like a warrior and I couldn't be more proud, mind over matter! I have tried peeing in a bath and shower but it all hurt the same amount for me, I even tried the pouring water over the area as you pee. The good new is that I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel and maybe I'll be peeing and walking normally in a couple days! Medication seems to be working great!

[lookinup]

Please hang in there and never give up. I don't have much info to give you about the whole HSV thing because I myself am a newby but I will say I am sending you positivity, laughter and I hope you have a speedy recovery!

[WCSDancer2010]

That being said my real disappointment comes from being super careful and still ending up in this situation.

 

You are in the boat with a LOT of people here who were careful and got H - even while using a condom.... or through Oral sex (not knowing that cold sores can transfer to the genital area) Until we get the education out there, it's going to continue to happen and we'll continue to be busy here helping people like yourself ... :(

 

(((HUGS)))