wanting to tell my best friend today that I have herpes. need some encouragement...

[rainyday5249]

I want to tell my bestfriend. I kno this isnt as big of a deal as telling your partner but its a big deal in my head.. im scared to death.

 

What if she is disgusted ?

What if she tells someone?

What if she acts weird?

 

I dnt kno if i can handle that ... i disclosed to my partner the same day i found out and it was the worst feeling ever but he still wanted to be with me and told me to quit crying and kissed me on the cheek and held me. Im thankful for that but im still freakin out abt tellin my bestfriend... shes younger than me and idk how she will react... i wish they made a bottle of courage haha jus chug that sucker and your stronger than hercules lol yea right... but anyone got any advice or encouragement ??

[HerryTheHerp]

Chin up. A best friend is a best friend. I told mine about two weeks in. He's still my best friend and quite honestly doesn't look at me any differently.

 

There is such thing as a bottle of courage. It's stored on the shelf right next to your heart. You just have to have the courage to look inside and find out where it's hidden. :)

[Jenn2323]

Good luck sweetie, I think this will be my biggest disclosure. But I can't even admit it to myself right now . I hope all works out

[WCSDancer2010]

What if she is disgusted ?

What if she tells someone?

What if she acts weird?

 

If she is your BEST friend, she won't be disgusted

If she is your BEST friend, she won't tell someone

If she is your BEST friend, she won't act weird ...

 

well, maybe she will act weird at first simply because she won't know what to say or do to support her. But you can use this time to educate her and help HER to get educated so she can reduce her risks of getting it ... and in the end, if she is your BEST friend, she will appreciate that you told her and will love and respect you more ;)

 

(((HUG)))

[rainyday5249]

@herry ... your awesome thank u so much. Im nervous but i love her so i wanna tell her..

 

@dancer... thank u . Those r good points... didnt thank that but i do now.. and yes i want to tell her to let her kno how seriously easy it is to get. She is young and doin things i did at her age and i wanna protect her from this..

 

@jenn ... admittin it to myself was difficult but it helps wen u do... im scared but ill definetly let u kno how it goes

 

Much love to all of u !!

[Orngpeelmafia]

I sat in my car with my best friend one morning...I hadn't been to a doctor yet but I knew that something wasn't right and I had a good hunch I had herpes. As I sat there trying not to cry she looked at me and said "dude nothings gonna change. We've been through everything together. If you have it that's gonna suck but you know well make it through anything and I'll always be here" and upon telling my other best friend after I found out she shrugged and said "an I supposed to look at you differently now? Cause I don't...I hope that doesn't make me a bad friend" my point is that the people that love you won't care

[rainyday5249]

Im jus scared one day we will get in a fight and she will tell someone.. but i guess i gotta have faith lol

[hope42morrow]

I have told a couple of my close friends. Both reacted well to it and were supportive, reassuring that they didn't view me any differently. But, one of them told her husband, which I didn't appreciate. I had my reasons for not wanting him to know. She justified it by saying that she had thought he was my "friend" as well. It didn't mess up the friendship, and to my knowledge, that information was not passed to anyone else. But, when you tell someone there is always a risk they will tell other people.

 

My take on this is that, if you are really concerned that she may talk about it behind your back. Well, you may want to reconsider telling her. We all need support in this, but until you're ready to "come out" (as some very brave, wonderful people on here have done), you have to be careful in whom you tell. You sound as if you have a lot of concern that she may use this against you in the future, and I have to assume that you have reason to feel this way. You may want to really look at those reasons before you have the talk. Honestly, right now, the only person I trust 100% on this is my brother. He has been an enormous support to me, and I know they could stick him in a torture chamber and he still would not divulge... But, even with my one friend telling the hubby, I still don't regret telling the other two people about this. But I am older (40), and even if they were to talk I'm not likely to hear about it from a social group, etc. And I have known both for more than 20 years.

 

Anyways, take that for what it's worth. I'm not saying not to tell her, I'm just saying that at times it may be wise to protect yourself from emotional damage/pain that could be avoided.... Best of luck to you my beautiful friend.

[rainyday5249]

Thank u very much... oh so much to consider i want to tell her and i trust her... just have been done this way before by previous friends...

[rainyday5249]

jus letting everyone kno i told my friend and she said she still loves me and doesnt look at me differently now and she said she was thankful i told her cuz it made her aware of her own sexlife and how she cld easily get it .. she said she is gonna be more causious and get tested frequently !! Made me feel good cuz i helped someone already... love u all (hugs) XOXO

[WCSDancer2010]

Good for you ...

 

Having someone who you can trust with something so personal is important...because it's easy to put yourself in a "closet" of sorts and that is sooo unhealthy. AND, you just had your first lesson in the fact that people WILL love you complete with your little H friend ... and the bonus is you just helped someone else take more responsibility for her love life, and that is a beautiful thing ;)

[rainyday5249]

I kno it felt really good !! Im seein the sunshine in all this !!

[TNJ]

I recently told my best friend after bonding it in and nearly being eaten alive by keeping my secret of genital herpes and to my surprise, it was a moment for her to disclose to me that she had been living with her secret of having hsv2 as well. Both of us found out last August, but neither of us had the courage to tell the other because of the negative stigma that comes with the virus. While it will take some time for me to open up to other people, I now know that I am not alone and that the virus can hit a little closer to home than I thought. The 1 in 4 statistic is starting to seem a little more common the more I research.

[rainyday5249]

Oh yes it does... it feels good to let someone kno somethin uve been carryin all on your own