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Herpes leads to happiness? Or herpiness?

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As beautiful as my life has been, filled with blessings beyond counting, I've come to the realization that having herpes has actually led me to be a happier person. No, I'm not on any hallucinogen - let me explain.


When I discovered I had herpes, I found the bottom of the low. Each of us has a wide range of emotions, and I actually plunked down smack dab on my rear at the darkest point of my mind, and was filled with incredible earth shattering despair. I truly thought my life was over and that I was dirty and no one could possibly ever love me or want me again (interesting how so much of having herpes is a MENTAL state). And I screamed. I cried. The pain was excruciating physically, but my mind and heart were in an even worse state. I was up all night and finally fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion.

When I woke again a few hours later, my eyes were swollen nearly shut, and I could barely feel my hands from the stress. I got up, opened the window, blew my nose, then breathed in the icy winter air deeply and exhaled it slowly. And then a surprising thing happened. I breathed in again and out again. I was alive. Not only was I alive but I was taking pleasure in breathing, actually enjoying the fresh crisp air in my lungs. And I realized that if I could take pleasure in this, then there must be a thousand other things I had previously taken for granted that I would find unexpected joy in. And that I had reached the bottom the night before - knowing where the bottom is has given me perspective, and also a solid foundation to start building again, on wards and upwards.


Herpes has taught me:


-To give others the benefit of the doubt always. To be more patient.

-To take greater delight in the little things, and to look for them.

-To open my heart, be honest to a fault.

-To give others permission to love me

-To act each day to create happiness in others lives

-To forgive myself and others

-To shine out extraordinary light. To be an example.

-To be more accepting of the things I can and cannot change.

-To be unabashedly and unapologetically happy


So thank you, Herpes.


From the very bottom to the tippity top,




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