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Just found out I have herpes yesterday. I don't know where to begin.

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So, I just found out yesterday I have HSV. One look at me and the dr said "yep, herpes." She did a culture and a swab and I asked for a full workup on my blood-gosh, the lab lady sure did take a lot. Ive had cold sores as long as I can remember probably starting right arou x my first period at 11. I thought this was just a really horrible yeast infection made worse by being on my period at the same time. So, Im guessing since it's on my lady bits that its HSV2 from what Ive been reading on the site. My husband is being eerily supportive considering how our relationship has been for the last seven years. He would tell me for years that I caught something from this guy I had an indiscretion with 7 yrs ago because I have never "smelled" right again down there after that. I immediately went out and got testedd for everything a week or two after my fall from grace. That test came back negative for everything and then about a year later I was tested again when I was pregnant with my son who is now almost 6. That came back negative. I keep pressing the issue for him to accept me as being the one at fault because he had never had a cold sore until he met me he says. And by all the postings and reading I have done stress seems to be a huge catalyst to bringing on an OB. And believe me I have been in some really stressful situations where I havent eaten for days or weeks and never had any of this happen. So this leads me to believe that this is a recent acquisition.


Now that Ive rambled on for quite a bit my main concern is my son. Can I give this to him? What can I do other than letting my OCD free reign with cleaning? I know not to touch anywhere else on my person or anywhere else period until Ive washed my hands after having treatig my OB during the day. But what else? Being a mother you're supossed to protect your little ones not hurt them and it would kill me if I did it even unknowingly.


And also can anyone direct me to a list of threads for home remedies. This is my first OB so everything is horrendous. If I could walk around commando like a bow legged cowboy and keep everyone else safe I would but I can't as I homeschool our son and he's at that age you know.


Thanks for starting this site. And for everyone that shares their story and experiences so those of us who are just finding out have a safe place to come to.

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Hello and Welcome!


First - BREATHE! Everything is going to be just fine and your son isn't in imminent danger ;)


The blood results will tell you if you recently acquired H or not ... if you come up H2+ you have had the virus at least 4 months (very possibly for years). If it's H2-, then you got it quite recently ... which means your hubby is a carrier (very possibly unwittingly). We have had people on here who have their first OB after 20+ years of monogamous marriage ... herpes is a sneaky little devil who doesn't play fair :(


If you only come up H1+ (which you should if you get cold sores) and your hubby has had cold sores, then you likely got it from oral with him ... usually once you have H1 oral you have the antibodies to it which *should* protect you from getting it down south, but again, Herpes doesnt play by any set rules and we do have folks on here with the same version in both places.


He would tell me for years that I caught something from this guy I had an indiscretion with 7 yrs ago because I have never "smelled" right again down there after that.


That's utter bullcrap ... you can't "smell" herpes and anything else would have shown up in the tests. Sorry but saying that is an unfair way of reminding you of your "indiscretion". If you worked it out and resolved the issue, it's behind you and should stay there IMO. Perhaps you can take him to the Dr with you on your next trip and ask the Dr if your "smell" would be different all this time because of your indiscretion so you can put that to rest too... because we know what the answer will be ;)


As for your son, he's going to be fine. I just wrote a blog about dealing with family and loved ones with H ... it will fill you in on everything you need to know :)




There's a ton of links in the FAQ's section on home remedies:





This is my basic quick answer to the question:


4 quick suggestions:


Go Commando as much as possible - getting air to the area can help to dry it out more quickly ...being a woman, you can wear a long skirt during the day ... or really loose shorts with no underwear ;)


Reduce stress as much as possible - Herpes feeds off stress!!! It can become a good barometer for you that your body needs attention in some form or other


Look up Trigger Foods/triggers on here in the FAQ and search bar - lots of topics on them ... the main foods are chocolate and nuts but you want to learn about the Lysine/Argenine balance that can help keep Herpes under control


Epsom Salts baths can do wonders for some. Sit in the bath and dump a few handfuls of the salts right between your legs. Relax and let the salts do their thing then get out and dry off, finishing with a blow drier set on low heat to really get the area dry.


These 4 things seem to do the most help for the most people. Aloe Vera CREAM (make sure ALOE is one of the first ingredients and there isn't a bunch of other crap like petroleum and if it has glycerine, it's AFTER the Aloe in the ingredients .. go to a Health food store for your best chance of getting a good product) or Zinc cream may help during the day to keep it from sticking and help relieve the pain ..


This is a good start for you...







Herpes facts video:

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Thanks so much for that article!!! It makes me feel a lot better. I'll probably let myself and my OCD out to clean a little anyways so I don't stress about it since stress is supposed to make the OB worse lol. As I just started my antivirals at 1000mg 2x a day yesterday and I have had this first initial OB for a week today when can I expect it to feel a little better. I have already made a list of some home remedies that I want to try to see what works best. My dr said this first one should last maybe another week. I just feel like I haven't been able to completely release everything when I go to the bathroom because the burning is intense. I will never take the act of urination for granted ever again lol :-).


And Im guessing I should stay away from public swimming places. I am in Alabama which right now feels like im close to H**l and my hubby wanted to go to the waterpark this weekend with our son for the holiday weekend.

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Ok cool. We may just have to go to the zoo then bc the way Im feeling and looking today I highly doubt I will be done with this first outbreak by Friday or Saturday. How does one deal with the vaginal discharge? I guess Im lucky that I get to let lay around all day and "air" it out but while Im doing that I have noticed a whitish watery discharge sneaking out and trying to run down my bum crack. Im going to see if my hubby will get me one of those battery powered fans to help the dryi g out process and Ive made list of supplements to get. I was thinking to deal with the discharge at night just wear loosd panties and a panty liner?


Also Ive read somewhere that people are recommending busting the sores to help them dry out quicker?!?! What is that about? Sounds sketchy and kinda makes sense at the same time. I guess if you had a salve to put directly on it once you do it then sure.


Ugh, so many questions!! I guess its a good thing I was great at doing research papers in school lol.

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So regarding peeing ... pee in the shower or in the bathtub ... it helps to stop the stinging a lot ;)


You are FINE in public swimming places ... between the quantity of water and the chlorine, you won't infect everyone there ... think about it, there are very likely lots of people there who are H+ and who are shedding one way or another ;) You generally need skin-to-skin contact to pass it on ... and enough viral load for it to overwhelm the bodies immune system. So relax and go have fun.


Yeah - loose cotton undies and a liner should be fine - and i wouldn't pop the sores ... but get into the epsom salt bath... it will help to dry them out ;)

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Thanks Dancer!! U and willow and this whole site have been absolutely wonderful. Ive been doing a lot-and I mean a lot-of reading and Im thinking about starting an online journal to help me sort through the emotional aspect you know. But once again thank you so much!! :-)

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Thanks! And btw daisies are one of my fav flowers! :-) I know Im going to have up and down days cof awhile. Generally, Im an upbeat optimistic person but being diagnosed was something that blindsided me. The more Ive read and researched the better Im feeling today-and it doesnt hurt that Ive found a way to completely release in the bathroom without excrutiating pain ; Yea!!! Lol :-) Now I just have to decide if I want to use a pretty notebook or do it online ;-)

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I've been doing my writing on computer ha ha willow, you are in your 20s of the technology era and you are writing via pen and paper and I'm an old fart doing it on the computer. So hysterical!


Whichever way you decide to write....don't limit your writing on just herpes. I started writing about herpes everyday thought about it every damn minute...slowly, its evolved to more things....and I have found lots of great things about myself.......now if I get these damn outbreaks to stop I can actually go out and enjoy some of them LOL!

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My husband and I were just talking about that daisies! He said"maybe this will be your wake up call to take better care of yourself" I had let my weight go for the last year and really didnt care about how i looked- u know, the women at walmart with their hair in a messy bun schlepping around in house slippers and sweats; oh yeah that was me lol:-D-so now Im having to listen to my body and read up on ways to calm this first OB and start helping my immune system.


I found a really great article on slideshare called "37herpes facts you need to know" which I found to be a pretty good synopsis of what you need to know and it gave the pros and cons of the diff meds.



I thought it was a pretty good write up anyways. But certainly it could never be fount of information that this website is!! :-)


I would love to go to the workshop but won't be able to. I can't wait to hear how it goes!! I hope you have tons of fun Dancer!! :-)


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So heres a weird question, geared more towards the ladies, this being my first OB Ive been trying the salt bath and hydrogen peroxide for drying them out. However, I have particularly large lesion right on the inside of my two inner lips and it goes upwards and inwards. Is the valtrex im taking for the next 10 days supposed to get rid of those? Or am I supposed to continue with the salt and peroxide to get that one and future ones like it dried up? Sorry for the graphic description as far as location, just really have nowhere else to go on this question.



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Ok cool. It just seemed like this lesion on the inside was taking forever even with the salt baths and valtrex. Ive even started drying them out with hydrogen peroxide. Im gonna order some of that alum you posted on another thread in case of the next OB. I heard from the dr on Thursday and apparently I have HSV1 on my lady bits. Thanks Dancer, you have been a huge help :-)!!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hey everyone!!! I just wanted to say thanks to everyone:Dancer, daisies, willow and everyone else whose stories and funny quips I have read over the last month since having my first OB. I finally got back into the regular swing of my life-much to the chagrin of my homeschooled son; he thoroughly enjoyed his little vacay lol.


But my other reason for getting on here was to get some moral support from you guys and gals because of something my husband had done. After our first intimate session after this OB he immediately got up and went to the bathroom and began scrubbing himself and said to me "I just don't want to catch what you have." WTF!!!!??? my tests came back saying that my antigens were negative indicating that I had just been infected with this virus and you are gonna treat me like Im a leper or worse?! By all indications he very well could've been the one to give it to me because he is always talking and texting other women and being vague about stuff, but then he's gonna go and act like Im the one who did the wrong thing?! Don't get me wrong, I still may have been the one to have gotten 7 years ago and never had an OB before this one but when I had gotten tested for stds twice before it never showed up.


That crap just literally broke my heart.....ever since then Ive been in a funk. I have no desire to touch him or even be intimate and he acts like nothing was wrong with what he said. I told him it hurt and even if he did wash immediately afterwards it probably wouldn't matter because Im most contagious for the first 6 months(according to what the dr said and what Ive researched-I may be wrong) and everytime we have unprotected sex or don't take precautions he could catch it. Am I being unreasonable?


And then he acts like if I don't have an active OB or a sore then Im not contagious. I feel like screaming at him that he can get from me at almost anytime and that if he is gonna sit there and tell me he's in it for the long haul with me-as if marrying me weren't commitment enough-and doesn't care if he gets it, then why act like an ass?


Idk, it just hurt and I just wanted somewhere to vent because I haven't disclosed to anyone in my family and I don't really think their reaction will be very positive anyways.



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Hello again!


So - you are a woman - trust your instincts. I think it's pretty telling that you included this:


By all indications he very well could've been the one to give it to me because he is always talking and texting other women and being vague about stuff, but then he's gonna go and act like Im the one who did the wrong thing?!


So I assume that he has not been tested/refuses to get tested? I think your approach should be to say that since he is so concerned, that maybe you should use condoms until he gets tested ... that if he has it, it won't matter what you do anyway (cause he has it), if he doesn't have it, you need to discuss whether you continue to use condoms and/or use antivirals so that he won't have to run and scrub down after each time you have sex.


I'm suggesting the condom route because if he IS seeing other women, you need to protect YOU until you figure out what you need to do. If he is (and I am not saying that he is or isn't, just making a point) his behavior may be denial of his possible connection to you getting H. We humans can manipulate ourselves pretty well, never mind others :p :(


Once you get him tested, you may need to do some counseling together, to have someone help you to get him to see how his actions and words are affecting you.


And like I said, follow your intuition. Keep any worry and jealousy out of the equation and just allow your gut to tell you what you need to do. I find when I can center myself, and take my ego out of the matter, I know what I need to do.



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