SO WHAT.....WE HAVE HERPES!!!!

[whitedaisies]

Well, I have herpes oral and genital HSV1 and some of you have HSV2 and you know what? We are still human, we have feelings, desires, wants, needs, goals just like everyone else!!!

 

We have a contagious virus that gives us additional responsibility but no more than trying to be emotionally responsible in a relationship that's almost more damaging.

 

So I spent my whole life worrying about contracting herpes for some God foresaken reason....my therapist said it was because I had an intuition I would get it.

 

I denied myself out of oral sex my whole adult life b/c my partner got recurring cold sores on his mouth and back when they didn't know medically that hsv1 could transfer to genitals, I was smart enough to know it could.....(didn't know about dental dams.....arg)

 

So what did I do....my 2nd sexual partner ever gave me oral and genital hsv1!!!!

 

So I went to insane lengths to prevent myself from contracting the virus by denying myself pleasure to the point where I wasn't totally sexually satisfied and then I just get it anyway. Ironic, isn't it!!

 

So what I am saying I guess for those of you who are in the should have, could have, would have mode of early diagnosis that I am living proof that it's not a healthy place if the other alternative is chosen....yes you got herpes from sex, yes, wish we never got it, but to be mad at yourself for wanting it and needing it is really silly and is denying yourself your humanity.

 

So no one knows better than I that you can't protect yourself from everything even if you are super aware of it and go to every unreasonable length possible not to contract it.

 

Hold your head high....you are no less....

 

[mandymoon]

Omg i needed that

[Helzbelz88]

Well said lovely

 

Xxxx

[Faith512]

Love this!

[myfiercecalm]

You're on FIRE daisies! I like this bit, "totally sexually satisfied" :) And reading your post, I thought about former girlfriends I could have stayed with and been satisfied but never totally satisfied (total satisfaction is something I'm saving for the right person). When I first got the positive blood test for HSV2, I regretted leaving those relationships. They were great at first but became emotional traps for me. By the time I left, I could hear Johnny Cash singing Rusty Cage. And if I'm honest, I wouldn't have experienced some of the absolute best sex of my life had I stayed with them. I may have gotten HSV2 from the experience, but considering the 1 in 5 or 6 odds, I was probably going to get it anyway eventually. Not sorry anymore, I was being true to myself at the time. Some people eat too much, drink too much, do too many drugs and all those things can hurt you way more than a stupid skin condition. Sex with the right person just happens to be what makes me happy. Blame biology I guess. We all deserve to be "totally sexually satisfied". You shouldn't have to deny yourself that pleasure regardless of your H status. It's like denying our humanity. Also, the post title sounds like a Muppets musical. Can't you hear Kermit, Miss Piggy, Animal, and the gang singing "I HAVE HERPES! YOU HAVE HERPES! WE GOT THE HERPES FROM YOU! SO WHAT?!".

[whitedaisies]

@myfiercecalm...you made me laugh out loud!!!!

 

I love the Muppets!!!

 

I am on fire! And it's with the purpose that my telling people my story, they can help heal and in return that helps me to heal. I feel that part of the meaning of life is service to people and herpes allowed me to serve to help make the world better. I feel satisfied that I can contribute in a positive way to the betterment of society....even if it is one person and one story at a time.

 

Hugs to everyone!!!!

[whitedaisies]

Also, you are the only people that understand me and know what I am going thru.....everyone else in my life currently says I have changed and they don't know who I am anymore....that I am not ME! I am ME, just not the ME they want me to be. Hard to feel like you are disappointing everyone, but in the end, in order for me to be satisfied emotionally, sexually, spiritually, etc. I have to be mindful of what it takes to make me happy and to my realization in my 40s, sex is a big part of that equation....as I am sure it is for most people. But it's more than sex...it's CONNECTION. I like connecting with people and that is also necessary for great sex for me!

 

Anyway, lots of lessons learned....

[WCSDancer2010]

@myfiercecalm.... you know I was drinking coffee when I read your little Muppet jingle... I'm lucky I didn't choke lol.

 

at white daisies. The problem for people is when you grow and they can't cope with that. They come to expect you to be a certain way and they are not growing fast enough to grow with you. And perhaps whatever is going on is also you taking some things maybe to an extreme because you are just breaking out and discovering this part of yourself. Perhaps over time you will find a balance and a center around all this that your family will be able to accept and live with..

[myfiercecalm]

If you thought that was funny, here's a clip from Avenue Q:

 

This is what happens when the muppets grow up. I saw the show last year. It was hilarious.

[seeker]

whitedaisies,..... marry me.

[whitedaisies]

You are sweet!!!!

 

 

[Chinup]

Well said!!!!!!