Dying inside

[ToniannRicci]

Hey. So I am here crying my eyes out and feeling like I am in hell. I just found out that I may have herpes.

Went to the doctor last week because of a bacterial infection and my doctor thought it was herpes but when he examined me he said he was wrong. He gave me some antibiotics and they worked well, no more issues. But he suggested i do an epsom salt soak on my vagina. After about 2 days of doing the soak I got blisters that were so annoying.

They hurt and they burn when I pee and they itched. But after time they felt like they were getting better. Boy was I wrong. I just decided to go back to the doctor this morning because it felt like they were spreading and I couldn't understand why.

 

I have sensitive skin so I just thought it was the Epsom salts. He confirmed that I have herpes. I feel dirty and disgusting.

 

And I hate him! I mean we went and go tested together but we didn't do the herpes test. Everything else was negative. But I did notice he was trying to avoid having sex with me on two different occasions and he turned off the lights and put his under ware back on right after.

I was like " That's odd for a man who is usually always naked" but I thought he was just cold. Stupid me right

 

But I didn't notice anything odd on his penis, or surrounding area, it's a habit I have looking at my parter's privates so anything weird like warts and stuff.

 

We use condoms, sigh, I've been seeing him for 15 months and we just decided to be intimate. I feel like this is my punishment for having sex.

I'm very open and honest in my relationships... But who is going to want me and want to be with me when I have a virus that is contagious and in going to die with ??

Omg why??!!! My head hurts, I can't sleep, I haven't slept in more than 24 hrs. I need a something... I can't bring myself to look at him!

I HATE HIM I HATE MYSELF.

Why wouldn't he tell me ?

How do I live like this. I'm just done. I can't do this I really can't

[WCSDancer2010]

I have to fly out the door but I wanted to touch on this quickly

 

Why wouldn't he tell me ?

 

Because of EXACTLY what you are saying ... you have BOTH bought into the stigma of Herpes .... unfortunately he obviously felt that the only way to find "love" was to hide it and hope that you wouldn't get it. He may have even been told by his doctor that if he didn't have sex without an OB, that he didn't have to tell anyone (sadly many Dr's are well out of date regarding asymptomatic shedding).

 

I'm going to come back to this, and I know others will chime in, but DO know you will be ok. I got H at 17, I'm 53 now, and my life has been just fine with only a few speed bumps along the way due to H.

 

(((HUGS)))

[whymegirl]

Youre not at fault for this, dont blame yourself. It sounds like you took all the necessary precautions. And unfortunately he wasnt mature enough to be completely honest with you.

Im assuming you guys are no longer together? As for who will want you... Someone much more genuine and trustworthy than your last guy will want you! You may have a couple hiccups along the way.. but we have that with or without herpes getting in our way. Ive been h+ for ummm... 4 years now I guess. And I was in a committed relationship when I first found out then we broke up 2 yrs later. I dated a couple guys and the one that I decided to tell rejected me.. and ya know what it sucked. But so did he! Cause not even a week later I started dating my current bf and he is beyond amazing. Someone that I didnt think id be lucky enough to get even before I had herpes. And its such a non issue.. im upfront if I ever have an outbreak and other that that it doesnt even really get mentioned. You need a man who wants you and isnt scared by things like this, not a boy who just sees u as a right now option. I love my man... the respect and admiration I have for him is immense. Hope this helps. Yes its daunting.. ive been there. But you will find someone sooo worth it.

[seeker]

first thing is everyone on here went thru what you are now. I was diagnosed about a month ago. it feels like a punch to the stomach. you will get by this, life isn't over by any stretch.

 

I cant nor will I justify what he did as I am not in his shoes, many people don't know they have this. his cagey actions say he did and was trying to hide it. and im sorry, 15 months of dating w/o sex or 15 months till no condoms? remember how that felt so you wont do the same later. cause guess what at, someone is gonna want to be with you again.

 

don't hate yourself young lady, you did nothing wrong. you will live thru this, have kids, shlep them around in a mini van, get laid off, get a better job, hike the Appalachian trail, smoke pot on the supreme court steps and or any number of things in your life.

 

[WCSDancer2010]

I'm back//

 

First - I'm not justifying what the guy did (just to clarify) ... BUT, sometimes understanding that the other person may be allowing their fears and anxieties to dominate their lives and integrity sometimes helps us to let go of at least *some* of the anger and resentment ... which is only good for us..... hanging onto that stuff is just plain unhealthy on so many levels. :(

 

we went and go tested together but we didn't do the herpes test. Everything else was negative. But I did notice he was trying to avoid having sex with me on two different occasions and he turned off the lights and put his under ware back on right after.

I was like " That's odd for a man who is usually always naked" but I thought he was just cold. Stupid me right

 

Well, sounds like your intuition was kicking in, but we often will ignore it because to admit it would mean that what we want to believe is incorrect. It's not stupid... you were just being incredibly human.Herpes is a great teacher, and this is an "Opportunity" for you to learn to honor and respect your intuition in the future.

 

But I didn't notice anything odd on his penis, or surrounding area, it's a habit I have looking at my parter's privates so anything weird like warts and stuff.

 

This is one of the things that people don't realize. The vast majority of cases of transmission of H is from people with NO obvious symptoms ... it's called asymptomatic shedding. When someone either doesn't know they have H, or they are in denial about it, then they are more likely to pass it on because they ignore the minor symptoms ... and they don't take the anti-virals that could protect their partner.

 

I feel like this is my punishment for having sex.

 

Absolutely not friend. You are a victim of someone else's fear and self loathing, that is all... you took FAR more time to become intimate than the vast majority of the population. You did nothing wrong. You just plain got unlucky...

 

I'm very open and honest in my relationships... But who is going to want me and want to be with me when I have a virus that is contagious and in going to die with ??

 

Well, yes, you may die *with* it, but not *from* it. It's not HIV. It's not cancer. It's honestly just a nuisance skin condition in a really inconvenient place. And who will want you? Just check out the success stories here .. we just had another success story on here today. Please, check them out... I know you may not believe it now but we have more than enough "proof" that people can and DO find love (mostly with H- partners) with herpes ;)

 

Again... BREATHE. Know you will be ok. I am sure it doesn't feel like it today, but over time, if you stay on here and read as much as you can, you will hopefully find yourself feeling less like your life is over and more that you can and WILL be ok :)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book: Great info to help you understand H.

 

http://eepurl.com/b4IPPhttp://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/92/the-positive-side-of-being-herpes-positive

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2646/how-herpes-made-me-a-better-person

 

Herpes facts video

[ToniannRicci]

Thank you. I really do appreciate it. I've been on here all day and all of your kind words have brought tears to my eyes, very touching. I'm still very hurt and very angry that's not going to pass in a day.

I still feel like a leper, like why did this happen to me?!

It's painful and itchy and annoying and I want to cry. Panties are my worst enemy right now. Soap also, everything burns. I can't sleep, I have no appetite, my thigh muscles hurt, my head hurts, I'm weak

I want to unmeet him, go back in time and turn the other direction when he said Hello.

I'm not usually this moany, I bear my grinds like a big girl , but I've been hit for 6.

I did ask for the Herpes test when we went to the clinic, but then the lady said that unless you are having an out break you will test negative and he just told me let's not worry about it then.

I mean wtf how could I have been so blind ???? I trusted him, I believed in him, I love him, ugh argh!!!!!!!!! Whyyyyyy

If I have a baby it could get this, I never want that, EVER!! I feel like my life has ended before it's truly began.

I wanted to pursue a career in medicine can I even still be a doctor now? What happens if I go to school and they find out, will they kick me out ?

I haven't even told him, I haven't told anyone,

I'm the good girl, I'm the one that doesn't run around , I'm the one that goes to the doctor every 6 months even if I'm not sexually active and gets check ups, I'm the one that's always preaching condom use

Ironic that i am now one with the STD I'll die with .

 

Skeeker , 15 months dating without sex , we always use condoms

 

He was talking just yesterday about having a baby and getting married, I wasn't ready in any case and now for me that will never be a possibility

[wevegotthis]

Well, when you have had herpes for long enough, it can lie dormant in your body and it is harder to test for on a blood test. When you're having an outbreak, your body is actively fighting it, making it easier to detect (anyone feel free to correct me if I am wrong on that one).

Yet again as some people have said, if he DID know, he was probably absolutely terrified. He gave in to the stigma as you did earlier. Herpes isn't that bad. It really isn't. I am 22 years old in two weeks and I was just diagnosed with herpes. You know what that does?

It helps weed out the shitty assholes who just want you for sex.

The fact that this guy gave this to you REALLY sucks. Keep in mind you aren't even close to being alone, and a LOT of people carry herpes. As Dancer said, it's really just.. a nuisance skin condition in an inconvenient place.

 

Stop panicking - stress makes your outbreaks worse! Breathe!! Realize you're not dying. You're going to be a-okay. You WILL get through this.

As for the pain, I find leaning forward when I pee helps a lot (doesn't run back), and instead of wiping I use a spray bottle or a tiny plastic cup to splash water on myself. DON'T use soap directly on your outbreak! Of course it's going to burn, you're putting soap on an open wound! You can make it even worse as the soap will completely dry out that entire area, making everything even more sore.

 

You can have a baby just fine. Your doctor will monitor you during your pregnancy and if there is ANY chance at all of you passing it on to your baby, or your baby being at risk of being harmed, they will perform a c-section opposed to a natural birth. You still get your healthy baby!

Yes, you can be a doctor you goof. They can't deny you that from having herpes. You aren't a walking disease, girl. You're just the same person that you were before, and eventually, you'll actually become an even better person than you were before. Having herpes really makes you more.. connected. Down to earth. Understanding.

 

You said you haven't told him - I really don't know what to say to that. I would just ask him straight up, "Did you know you had herpes?" (Legally he has to tell you.. at least in Canada. You can sue someone for knowingly giving you herpes without informing you that they were a carrier).

 

Best of luck - feel free to PM me. Sorry if my reply was scattered!! You've got this. We've got this. <3

[seeker]

@ wevegotthis blood tests test for the antibodies, so unless its been too soon since exposure you will have them. there is a scale for a positive. its the swab one that can be tricky from what I understand. IF you get to the doctor while the blister is still there and there is active virus in it. sometimes you get a false negative if the sore is "old". ive never done the swab as my blisters ( the few ive had) form and pop in about a day. I literally find them when they pop usually drying after a shower. well I am more vigilant now.

 

toniann, you will be ok. ive read that some women will pee in a tub with water or while using the showerhead. drink lots of water to dilute your urine and Epsom salt baths are good too.

 

herpes lives in our nerves, it is not blood borne. you can be a doctor. better yet be a herpes researcher!!! dancer has kids and has had this most of her life.

 

I wont deny its a pain in the tuckus but its a pain you can LIVE with. your body will adjust and the OBs should get easier. you can use antivirals either episodic or as suppressive.

[ToniannRicci]

Thank you guys so much. I just keep rereading your comments. Taking in everything. The support you've shown me I really do appreciate, I feel very blessed.

 

Seeker, wanna know something funny ? I always wanted to get into herpes research because I felt like no one did enough for people with herpes, and it's about time they had a cure. Isn't it ironic that I'm now one of those people .. Smh.

 

I also wanted to get into HIV research basically for the same reason. With the technology we have people shouldn't be dealing with stuff like this anymore. These diseases should be a thing of the past. But that's just my opinion.

 

I was very angry and hurt. I still am very hurt but you guys have been wonderful in sharing your stories and encouragement. You seem to be living and coping with this very well.

 

I'm so sorry if I offended anyone with anything I said. But I felt like my heart had been ripped right out my chest and then thrown on the ground. I was so angry, I'm starting to cry remembering it all now. Sigh, this is going to be hard.

 

Dancer, thank you, ((HUGS)), that's honestly what I would love now a hug while I cry this all out so I never have to revisit this and it doesn't bother me again. I just need to get over this hump, big hump and I will be ok. I hope.

 

I still haven't told him, I've not called or texted and I have not been returning his calls, he'll get the hint. I wouldn't have abandoned him if he had told me.

All I ever ask for is honesty! He could've taken me to the doctor with him and have him explain everything. He should've given me the choice. He shouldn't have decided my fate for me ya know.

He went home for a few days I believe to take his meds, maybe he was feeling an outbreak coming on. Idk I can only assume.

 

I'm seeing that it's manageable, just uncomfortable man!!!!!

It's sore!! It burns. And omg lastnight it itched and it burned almost alll night long, I couldn't sleep. I'm sorry if that was a bit to TMI.

 

wevegotthis, I'm breathing and keeping that in mind. I'm not fighting it anymore or railing against it, nothing I can do but go back to the doctor and get a script of something.

And lord knows I don't want this to get worse cause I'm already stressed even before I got the news.

So yea, I'm trying to accept it.

 

I still don't want kids I know the measures that the doctors take to ensure the baby doesn't have it. But what if? Yea that's a chance I can't take. Won't take. No what if with a baby.

I don't think I'll ever be able to trust again. And I'm a person who already has trust issues.

[willow]

I know what u mean about trust issues, weve all been there, wether it be cheating, lieing, misdirected.. w.e. the case may be, if it werent for the people in our lives that have hurt us, we wouldnt be as strong as we are now!

 

As for having a child!? My goodness girl nothing is holding you back from starting a family! Just ask dancer! H is not passed through bodily fluids. Its not in you blood, or saliva, just in nerve where the skin was infected. your baby to be will be just fine!

 

Heres some posts that might help you through this new stage in your life:

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3877/fear-and-power#Item_4 (me)

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/easy-simple-self-help-tips-for-relief-from-herpes-outbreaks/ (@WSCDancer2010)

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/finding-your-authentic-self-with-herpes/ (@WSCDancer2010)

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4351/self-love#Item_3 (@lifehaschanged)

[WCSDancer2010]

OK - a small bit of reality/tough love here (and it's nothing personal)

 

I still feel like a leper, like why did this happen to me?!

 

Why NOT you? Tons of people get this diagnosis EVERY DAY. Rich people, Poor people, fat people, skinny people, "sexually liberated" people, virgins (yes, thanks to Oral Sex!), young people (we've had as young as 15 on here I think), old people (the oldest I've seen was in her 70's as I recall). Herpes is an Equal Opportunity Virus that doesn't care whether you are a "good Christian" or a total hedonistic heathen ;)

 

I did ask for the Herpes test when we went to the clinic, but then the lady said that unless you are having an out break you will test negative

 

That is total and utterly incorrect information. If the woman was up to date on her info she would know this from the CDC's website: (you may want to go back there with a printout from the CDC's site with this part underlined and highlighted and a copy of your results and ask to see the person in charge of that office and let them know that they need to get their staff up to date on their info ... so others don't have this experience :( )

 

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes-detailed.htm

 

How do people get genital herpes?

 

Infections are transmitted through contact with lesions, mucosal surfaces, genital secretions, or oral secretions. HSV-1 and HSV-2 can also be shed from skin that looks normal. In persons with asymptomatic HSV-2 infections, genital HSV shedding occurs on 10% of days, and on most of those days the person has no signs or symptoms. [4] Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission most commonly occurs from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected. [5]

 

If I have a baby it could get this, I never want that, EVER!!

 

OK - BREATHE! I promise you, I have 2 daughters ... I had HSV2 and neither of them got it from me and that was before the days of anti-virals. Today the protocol is to suggest you take Valtrex for the last month to help to keep you from having an OB, and they will monitor you very closely. If there is a lesion they will suggest that you have a Cesarean but most H+ have their babies naturally ;)

 

I wanted to pursue a career in medicine can I even still be a doctor now? What happens if I go to school and they find out, will they kick me out ?

 

You can only pass this through direct skin-to-skin contact in the area where you have it, so yes, you can go into medicine and it's none of their business that you have it, but they won't kick you out if they do find out. Remember, 15-20% of the population has genital H and 80% has oral H. If they kept people from going into medicine or the army or whatever because of it this country (most if not all countries for that matter) would come to a complete standstill ;)

 

He was talking just yesterday about having a baby and getting married, I wasn't ready in any case and now for me that will never be a possibility

 

This is a perfect case of being careful to not believe everything you think friend. OF COURSE YOU CAN GET MARRIED!!!! AGAIN, if all the people with H didn't get married and have babies, our population would be dropping like a stone!!!!

 

You will be fine friend... promise. Get better educated on here. Try not to listen to all the stuff you have going on in your head. Remember that one in 4 or 5 of all the people around you has H (and I bet you can't guess who they are ;) ). You have just bought into the BS and Stigma associated with Herpes ... and I can tell you, after 35 years with it, it's not at all what you have allowed yourself to believe.

 

(((HUGS)))

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

@wevegotthis

 

Well, when you have had herpes for long enough, it can lie dormant in your body and it is harder to test for on a blood test.

 

Not true. Once you have the antibodies, they are there for life. The time when you are liable to not come up H+ is in the first 4-6 months while your body is building antibodies. A small handful take a bit longer. Within a year most people with H will have enough antibodies to be detectable upon testing.

 

And @ToniannRicci

 

For the pain peeing (see my post that @willow posted) DO try peeing in the shower or pour water over the area while peeing. I wish someone had told me that hint 30+ yrs ago when I had my worst OB's when I was dealing with my wedding and moving to the UK... talk about STRESSED! Also all the other hints on there should help alot.

 

And you know what? *MAYBE* you are meant to do Herpes research and that this will help you to pursue that passion in a way that a H- researcher would not. We NEED people like you to take this thing on who understand it's NOT the virus that causes the damage, it's how people get sucked into believing their life is over after diagnosis ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[wevegotthis]

That's why I asked for someone to correct me if I was wrong - I had a feeling LOL. I just thought that, like HPV, once you have had it for a while and haven't had outbreaks, it is sometimes undetectable through a blood test. I assumed - that was my mistake! Sorry

 

[WCSDancer2010]

HPV is detected through a vaginal scraping (like a Pap smear) , not blood tests ... which is why there isn't a test for men, because the "scraping" would be inside the urethera and most men won't go for that :-O

[seeker]

@dancer, being a veteran of the old q-tip in the head for gonorrhea test, no way no how. no sex is worth a scraping inside there.

[ToniannRicci]

Well I wish she had been up to date then I would've been able to make a choice.

 

But what is done is done and there is no turning back. I can only move forward from here.

 

The peeing and pouring water at the same time doesn't work for me that well, I have to squat and balance on the bowl. Haha it's kinda funny finding ways to pass water.

 

I find during the day I'm pretty ok, but my issues start at night. That's when it seems most active.

It keeps me awake and I get these nasty headaches. I toss and turn all night long or it wakes me up, or I just can't fall asleep.

 

Yea I do now have a different perspective on this than I did before. Still hate it, I've accepted it but it still sucks. And I will try my best to go into H research so no one will ever again have to become an acrobat on the toilet.

 

Once again thank you all, for all your kind words and encouragement. I don't believe I would've accepted this so soon if it wasn't for this site.

 

Still not getting married, still not having babies. Yea, ain't gonna happen. I know the risk and the precautions but yea... Still not gonna take that chance.

 

I love you allllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, Thank youuuuuuuuu. I wish I could hug all of you

[ToniannRicci]

Oh and incase you are wondering. I still have not told him, still have not spoken to him. He's been calling and texting. I've blocked his number and just cut him out of my life. He's not worth it to me. I have accepted my condition but I'll never forgive him. Can't even look at him without wanting to do serious bodily harm

[WCSDancer2010]

And I will try my best to go into H research so no one will ever again have to become an acrobat on the toilet.

 

THAT should be your opening line on your applications for college. Honest. It will get their attention, it's REAL, and they will see you really have something invested in making a change in the field of Herpes and HIV research. ;)

 

AND, thanks for the giggle with that line ...because I've done the Herpes Squat all too many times ;)

[havefaith427]

I am going to have to agree with Dancer about the guy.... I was with my bf for literally a year to the day that I found out I had it. And at first I was thinking "who did he cheat on me with? Why didn't he tell me that he had it." But then I had to realize that maybe he really did not know! And I know that he did not cheat... He did have a very "easy" gf before me so there are assumptions of where it originally came from. But if I try to seriously find out exactly where it came from I'm going to go mad... Take the fact that he keeps calling and texting as a sign that he really does care. I mean 15 months is a long time... You should tell him and then wait for the reaction. Be honest with him. I hope he didn't know that he had it and not tell you but maybe he really didn't know!

[ToniannRicci]

We spoke. And only because he came to my house and was making a lot I noise at an ungodly hour.

At first he said he didn't have it. I was trying to hard to stop myself from hitting him in the mouth for lying. ( I have anger issues ) he admitted it. He had it for four years and only recently found out while he was dating me.

But he said he was stressed about sharing it with me and when the Lady at the clinic didn't do the test he was happy because he didn't know how I would've reacted.

He didn't want me to be disgusted by him or end it.

He also said he didn't have an out break in months, but being stressed about me finding out he thinks triggered one.

And that's when I got it I guess.

Idk I told him I've accepted it, and I'm learning to live with it but I honestly hope he gets hit by a speeding bus

He asked me to forgive him and let's try to move on.

I would rather throw acid on my vagina while having an OB

[WCSDancer2010]

Well, as the saying goes, holding onto anger is like swallowing poison and hoping the other person will die ... YOU are the only one who will be hurt by it.

 

Don't you SEE???? HE bought into the stigma ... hook, line, and sinker. He bought into the SHAME that he couldn't face you with it. We see EXACTLY this scenario on here all the time where someone is diagnosed while dating someone else and I see their pain and confusion and FEAR and I coach them through it ... but he had noone to turn to (like MOST of the population) to help talk him through disclosing to you. Sadly for him, he got exactly what he didn't want by doing so.

 

While I don't condone what he did, I *understand* it because I see how deeply this stirs up rejection fears in people here. How it makes them feel unlovable and convinces them to do ANYTHING to not lose the person who they are dating if they are in his situation.... the fear of being alone with herpes just plain makes them do shit they would never do, and would not support, if another did it. FEAR is a powerful emotion ... Fear + Stigma = an overwhelming pile of emotions that transcend common sense and "normal" behavior.

 

You don't have to condone what he did to forgive him. But I hope that some day you let go of the anger. It will eat at you and YOU will be the one who suffers in the long run.

 

(((HUGS)))

[seeker]

tonni. I will not nor cannot condone his behavior, that being said, it doesn't hurt him for you to hate him. holding a grudge is no good. no you don't have to like him, care if he gets hit by a bus or has rabid bunnies decide to gnaw off his carrot but letting go of your anger grasshopper will help YOU more in the long run. ( he is still a douchebag thou)

[ToniannRicci]

Oh I've forgiven him. It's the moving on part . Moving on with him he means. Moving on and having a family and being together part that I'm opposed to.

If he had been honest from the get go and I had decided to be with him and I had caught it. I would've been fine simply because this is the man Iove and I know what it was.

But you lie to me. Give me the most uncomfortable rash ever! I can't even pee properly dude. I should join the circus with the moves I have to execute just to pee.

I can't masterbate which is what relives my stress!!! I can't even wash my vagina how I'm use to washing it because everything burns and itches and hurts

 

He's worth nothing to me. Nothing, he's not even worth the air he breathes in my opinion.

It's hard, it's a process, mentally challenging and physically annoying!

 

He took something from me... And replaced it with something horrid ; what little trust I had left Is forever gone.

 

I've forgiven him, I've accepted this condition. But every time I pee and it burns I wanna set him on fire.

 

How dare he tell me let's get back together when I'm not even the same person anymore and he's not who I thought he was. Not because he has herpes but because he's such a selfish individual he couldn't not think about himself for 5 mins.

 

This has changed my life, how I now have to approach my relationships, how I now have to explain to someone " Oh I have herpes Caz a dirtbag was to concerned with if I would dump him or not to tell me "

 

He's so selfish he set me up for future rejection!! That's not fair ( life isn't fair so why am I bitching right ) it's just not Caz you were scared of being rejected you hurt me ?

 

I'll never do that to a person. Take me as I am or go your way. Herpes and all.

 

If they can't love me knowing I have herpes they aren't the one for me. Or do I have a messed up view of this ?

[ToniannRicci]

Oh I've forgiven him. It's the moving on part . Moving on with him he means. Moving on and having a family and being together part that I'm opposed to.

If he had been honest from the get go and I had decided to be with him and I had caught it. I would've been fine simply because this is the man Iove and I know what it was.

But you lie to me. Give me the most uncomfortable rash ever! I can't even pee properly dude. I should join the circus with the moves I have to execute just to pee.

I can't masterbate which is what relives my stress!!! I can't even wash my vagina how I'm use to washing it because everything burns and itches and hurts

[ToniannRicci]

Idk my whole comment won't post. Help someone