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My giver finally reached out to me..

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But he's blaming me saying "I think you already had it, no matter what you say. You lied to me and I think you knew it too". Yet he apologizes and says he doesn't hate me and just needs time to process things. HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE SYMPTOMS. I'm the one who had to take days off work because the pain was the most miserable experience ever. All he gets is a confirmed blood test and he's acting like his life is over. I'm so upset. Meanwhile instead of waiting for him to come around, if he ever did, I moved on and found an incredible man. My new guy told me "boys" tend to play the blame game when they can't live with the guilt of giving someone something, especially herpes. so I just think of that and try to accept it. I'm still livid by his accusations though. How dare him

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Did you point out to him that his test shows he's had it for at least 4 months? If you get blood tested now and it comes out H-, you would have proof that you just got it ... so if you want to give him proof that he gave it to you, I'd get blood tested now :/


And your new guy is right -


Blame: A way to discharge pain and discomfort ... Brene Brown

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Yep. I just mentioned that to him, he got quiet lol. The soonest appt I can get is next Tuesday :( but its still pretty recent since our last encounter. Also, we only had sex 2 times, exactly a week apart. That was a month ago, and seeing that its abit harder for men to get it from women than vice versa, seems like the odds may be in my favor.

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Yep, thats my story as well @Jaynine. It hasn't even been a full month since my diagnosis, and he got tested 2 days after I found out and his results came back immediately that he was positive for HSV 1&2. Yet, I'm the one who's never once suffered from a cold sore, genital sores or anything of that nature until after we had sex. If the tables were turned, and I gave this to him, as much as it would kill me inside, I would be woman enough to tell him just like I was woman enough to let him know I had an outbreak and that he needed to get tested. Some people don't even give you that decency or respect and just let you find out the hard way. So for him to treat me this way really hurts...


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Amen. I'm so glad I moved on. Even after all that, I still told him if he ever wants to talk, I'm still here. We started off as bestfriends. I wouldn't mind staying good friends if anything else because at this point I don't even see him the way I used to anymore but I know he's taking this hard. I'd love to give him strength in this like I've recieved. In the meantime, I'll give him his space til he decides to reach out again.

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  • 2 months later...

Yeah my giver texted to try to get a little loving two weeks ago. When I said no, I still don't feel ready, he mentioned that I must have gotten hsv from a cheating ex because he never had any problems and I did. Similar scenario. - I had negative blood tests and his were positive. My ob started within three weeks of first unprotected encounter. And his gp found a small paper cut like lesion on his penis. She needed a black light to even see it. And told him she'd be really surprised if this was an initial outbreak. But you know, it must've been someone else that gave it to me. Guess who DIDN'T get laid???

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