I gave up on dating

[Scmale53]

A friend I was dating gave me herpes and she can't ever look at me in face , it's been 2 years and have not dated anyone since I found out , it's no fun being alone , am lost for words , anyone else feel like I do ?????

[whitedaisies]

I feel sad that it's 2 years and you are still suffering....although it has been a year for me and I am as well.

 

My best advice is to come on this website and read peoples successful disclosure stories to pump you up. Maybe make a buddy on here in your area and go to some meet up groups to get you back out there.

 

You are still the same sexy person you were before, just look deep inside past your physical self to your core, you deserve love and pleasure. I hope you can use this resource to help you.

 

Hugs

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Whitedaisies has some great advice. Please don't give up on love. As she said, you deserve love, we all do, everyone in this world does. I know it's really scary to put yourself out there, knowing some people might not be ok with this and that you will face rejection, but we are all in the same boat, and many have found loving, accepting partners, regardless of this skin condition. Don't allow society's narrow-minded stigma stop you from experiencing one of life's most precious gifts. Dig deep and find love for yourself first... regardless of your imperfections, find the things that make you special and appreciate them every day. Be grateful for the joys in your life everyday. It's only when you find love for yourself that you will be able to give someone love. It all starts with you.

 

Perhaps when you are ready, consider std dating sites? Maybe knowing that someone has gone through a similar experience and there are no disclosures really lined up, it will ease you back into dating? Some find it limiting, while others have had very positive experiences. Don't give up yet... you deserve love, amazing love that gives you butterflies and makes you smile every morning. Find your love in you and then keep going.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Scmale53

 

Hello and Welcome! I'm so glad you found us. @daisy and @beautiful are right ... there's no earthly reason that you can't find love ... you just have to realize that the stigma is in your head and it's running the show right now.

 

A friend I was dating gave me herpes and she can't ever look at me in face

 

Well, I expect she feels guilty as hell ... this isn't about you at all ... it's about her pain and shame...because SHE has also bought into the stigma and has a big does of guilt on top of it.

 

Your feelings are normal ... but after 2 years you have beat yourself up enough and it's time to start to allow yourself to start to become open to love (both self love AND from a partner).... honey - you are FAR from alone. 80% of people have HSV1 (orally or genitally) ... 15-20% have HSV2 (mostly genitally) so 4 out of 5 of your friends have H1 and one in 5 or 6 have H2 ... most (up to 80%) don't know they have it ... so they are blissfully ignorant ... but fact of the matter is, you are definitely not alone friend ;)

 

I suggest that you read as many of the Success Stories that you can on here. Get educated on here about herpes and how you can prevent transmission. And let those of us who have had H for awhile help you to realize that you can have a perfectly normal life, find love, have kids, see the world, and do anything else that you want to do... I'm a 35 yr veteran and I've had 2 long term relationships with H- men and they never got it from me ... over time, you learn your symptoms and with anti-virals, perhaps condoms, and personal awareness you can reduce the chance of passing it to your partner to a very small risk.

 

So get to those Success Stories and check out these links .... ;)

 

((((HUGS)))

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2886/herpes-yoga-and-self-love

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2646/how-herpes-made-me-a-better-person

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/hopelessness-turning-adversity-into-opportunity/

 

Shame

 

 

[Sil88]

I imagine it would help her guilt if she helped you out a bit. Either by continuing to date or by setting you up! Sad story, I hope you're just having a down day and will get back on it soon. Gotta love a challenge.

[Scmale53]

We are no longer dating ,

[Scmale53]

Thank y'all for the good comments , xoxo to everyone ,

[WCSDancer2010]

We are here for you when you need us .... you don't have to go through this part alone... and you shouldn't ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[vanessayee]

It's been 2 years for me too and I just don't want to have to tell anybody so I just don't bother to date anymore at this point. I just keep to myself so I can stay out of trouble and not have to worry about giving this to someone. I've tried the sti dating sites but I've had bad experiences on there and meeting the person that turned out nothing like they were online or on skype and it was always disappointing. To meet a decent person on there I might have to pay the monthly fee to find someone good.

[WCSDancer2010]

@vanessayee

 

Well, I hope that if you read all the Success Stories on here, and hang around a bit, you will eventually change your mind .... Herpes can actually help you to find a much DEEPER love ... learning how to be vulnerable with another opens a whole level of trust that many partnerships never achieve ....

 

You can start with these stories.... some of my favorites :)

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3036/i-had-the-herpes-talk-and-he-said-

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3439/tonight-is-my-night

 

(((HUGS)))

[MalicePalace]

I just wanted to say my piece on the positive dating sites. I signed up for the free membership one when I first found out that I have h because I felt completely alone and wanted to know that others are in my position as well. I Also hoped that maybe I would happen upon a friend or a romantic interest on there. I stumbled upon the profile of a girl I went to high school with. I thought about messaging her because I felt so alone in this (we were never close or even much more than acquaintances) but decided not to. Anyway, I emailed back and forth with a guy for a while and we decided to meet. There wasn't any spark in person so it ended up going nowhere from the first meeting but I told a friend of mine about him and showed her a picture and she said that he had messeged her on tinder (a generic "dating" app). That made me feel a bit more optimistic about being out in the normal dating world as opposed to limiting myself to positive sites because we still need to find people with whom we share connections on another level. not just sexually or based off of our diagnoses. I'm still very weary of dating and don't look forward to having to disclose to a potential partner but I know I won't be limiting myself just because of that fear. The rest of me is worth so much more than what someone will be risking by being sexually intimate with me so that potential partner (and I) will just need to be patient and really like each other for solid reasons. I deleted my profile from that site, but like I said it did do me some good in showing me that others in my area are also positive and that I'm not alone. I don't think there's anything wrong with using them if that's what you're comfortable with right now but I also think there is nothing wrong with putting yourself out there in the real dating world either! My best wishes to you!