Introducing myself and my herpes story.

[beautifulbreanne]

Hello everyone, I wanted to first start off by saying how much I enjoy reading discussions on this site. It's really made me feel a lot better about catching "H" as I see everyone saying. I found out on the 25th of this month that I had herpes. I had sex with my now ex on the 1st, the 5th, and the 7th (TMI, sorry.) And on the 8th I just felt like things werent right. I initially thought I had a perineal cut from the sex but then, I got the blisters. Looked it up on google and read the herpes discription. I was very scared to get tested at first so I waited a while. Got my results and my IGG was >5.00, positive for HSV2. Whats hurts the most is that we had an STD talk and he said he's never had one and as you all know when you get to that certain point of arousal, condom doesnt even cross the mind. During the 2 weeks, we were going through things and after I found out I had it and cried my eyes out, I cussed him out for lying to me. I feel as though he knew he had it or had a feeling because his response was..."what do i need to go get checked for if you're telling me I have it?" Asshole right? I broke it off because of that and other things. I cried a lot but then I thought to myself....it couldve been HIV or some stage 4 cancer. You have it, theres nothing you can do now. My main thing after finding out was, will I ever find love again. Someone thats willing to take that risk and accept me for me. Reading all the disclosure stories just gives me lots of hope. Im waiting for my medicaid card to come in still so I can go to my OBGYN. I have sensitive skin and think im going to have more OB's than the average person, so im going to try suppresive therapy. Im looking foward to interacting with all of you.

 

 

 

 

 

A little off topic: Things have simmered down on the outside, but inside my vagina still kind of hurts. (My outbreak has been going on for almost a month) I cant even think about getting a papsmear for fear of the pain its going to cause. If I bring my test results to show my OBGYN, can she just prescribe me the medicine or does she absolutely HAVE to do a papsmear? I feel like its a stupid question but I just need to make sure.

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Hi @beautifulbreanne, and welcome to the forum! First of all, I am so glad that you have come to reach an ok perspetive about all of this... It's not an easy pill to swallow sometimes and it can be difficult to shake the stigma that is associated to what is truly just a skin condition. Concerning your ex, he may or may have not know... possibly he might have suspected it at some point, but the fear of the reality and the stigma likely stopped him from seeing someone about it, and getting everything checked out. I suspect the same was true for my giver. Shame and denial are powerful emotions, and can make very kind people do horrible things in hopes of self-preservation. Sounds like that relationship was turbulent anyways, so moving on is probably in your best interest. Try not to hang onto the anger and resentment though, as it will only hurt you more. And if herpes has the ability to teach us anything, it's finding self-love... like, true love for oneself, because ultimately we are the only ones who will be able to give ourselves real fulfillment and validation. We have to go deep inside and recognize that we are still the same beautiful and compassionate and kind people, who deserve all the love and happiness that this world has to offer. For me, it has also make me slow down on the physical side of relationships and really get to know the person before deciding if I want to invest more of myself... blessing in disguise!! The right guy will find you and not see this virus as an issue, trust in that!!

 

So, a papsmear is usually to test for abnormal cells... a swab is less painful, which is what would be required to test any internal lesions. Bring your results, she might just prescribe the meds, or she might want to do a visual exam too. Depends on the doctor, it's something to discuss with her. In the mean time, you might want to start taking L-lysine supplements, and vitamin C to help boost your immune system. There are a whole bunch of topical and natural treatments that people use to help with the pain, just keep reading on the site, plenty info!!

 

Hope this helps, and reach out any time!

[WCSDancer2010]

@beautifulbreanne

 

Hello and Welcome! And glad you found us!

 

One thing I want to quickly point out - if your blood test as >5 then you have had this awhile my friend ... at least 3 months .... so you may not have got it from him. If you have been with him longer than 3 months and you got it from him, odds are that he didn't know because 80% of people with H don't know they have it... it's not normally included in "full" std panels unless you ask for it so likely neither of you have been tested for it before now.

 

And nothing is TMI here ... NOTHING ... it's the only way we can help people to get accurate answers and we are all adults here :)

 

Yes you can/will find love. Glad you have been reading the Success Stories because they really do help with perspective regarding dating and finding love.

 

I would suggest that you let the OBGYN look wherever they need to so they get a good idea of your situation.... it's in your best interests in the long run :)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

[fitgirl]

@beautifulbreanne as @PositivelyBeautiful said.......he may not have known. Even if he did, it doesn't mean he is a bad person it just means he was scared too. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter if he knew or not, all that matters is that you have herpes now and you WILL BE OK. You will love and be loved again I promise you..... there are a lot of really great men out there who will see you as a beautiful, sexy woman who is worth the risk. We all take a risk every time we have sex with a new partner whether we know we have herpes or not. Herpes will be your filter now, you will be more careful and you will shift your attention to building an emotional relationship with a man before jumping into bed with him, that is the gift in this. The virus will slow down the process and allow you to find out if you really care about him and find out if he really cares about you.

 

adjusting to the knowledge that you have herpes and learning about the facts and physical symptoms is the first step to regaining your confidence. You have come to the right place! I have had the virus for many years and have met some fabulous men who didn't care at all about herpes, they didn't see it as a big deal and definitely was not a "deal Breaker". This virus will actually help you find an authentic man, one who wants more from you than your body. as for the symptoms and suppressive therapy, I highly recommend it! I am one of those people who got regular ob's (even though I live an extremely healthy lifestyle and have had the virus for 15 years) I can tell you that 500mg/day of Valtrex has been amazing. Not only does it reduce my ob's to nearly zero, the one I did have while taking it lasted less than 2 days. AND of course, taking suppressive therapy reduces the risk of passing it along to my H- partner and that is a huge factor clearly. As for my H- partner....he has been amazing, doesn't care I have it and doesn't care if he gets it (I care) but the point is, its not at all relevant in our relationship. I am not going to lie.....disclosure is tough, its scary, its nerve wracking but its also a growing experience regardless of the outcome. You are the same chick now as you were before H, in fact, you are better. smarter, more enlightened and you will be more compassionate towards others who struggle with their own issues and stigmas. welcome to our world....we are the lucky ones.

[beautifulbreanne]

Thank ALL of you for the warm welcome and great information. It truly makes me feel better about having it.

 

@fitgirl I love the fact that your partner doesnt care that you have it and doesn't care of he gets it. (Id care also though) I hope that the next guy (hopefully THE ONE), has that exact mindset.

 

 

 

 

 

 

@WCSDancer2010 my heart dropped at you telling me i've had to have been infected with it for atleast 3 months. He and I were only together for about a month and a half, which now...makes me feel bad. Though he did admit to me he slept with someone else who could have potentially had it because of her background (thankful for him telling the truth) we still werent together long enough then. Which only leaves 2 people. It makes me feel bad because now, maybe i've given it to him, and he just wont go get tested. Thats the type of person he is...which is horrible. On the other hand, im going to do the right thing and get in contact with my other two ex's and make sure they go get checked and take the right precautions. I now see why its spread so easily and so many people dont know they have it. Because I obviously didnt know until a couple of weeks ago. Thanks again for all the information!

[WCSDancer2010]

Yeah unfortunately there's not a lot of good information out there ... but anything over 3.5 is a solid positive result ("positive" is considered to be 1.1 ... but there's a lot of false negatives between 1.1 and 3.5). So your number is pretty clear that you've had it awhile :/

 

Herpes is a sneaky little virus ... and unfortunately the (non) testing policies of the CDC just help the little bastard to keep getting passed around. :(

[JessikaRabbit89]

Hi hun and welcome! I can relate a lot to your story. I had a tear and thought it was from sex as well, and soon saw blisters. I confronted my giver and he was in complete denial and blamed me. I was so ashamed and seriously contemplated suicide because I couldn't picture myself living with this.

 

but coming here has truly helped me accept it and has helped make me a better person. I love myself even more now than I ever have and I take care of myself in ways I never did before. I also had pain that didn't subside until about a week or 2 after my first symptoms started. So take an anti-inflammatory, I prefer Naproxen, and hopefully that should help.

 

I didn't have to get another papsmear to receive treatment from my GYN. I gave them my results and they issued me a prescription right away. So I'm sure they will do the same for you too.