Thoughts on websites for herpes dating?

[fairlyme]

Hello. I'm still very new here and this virus. Still going through the steps and taking life day by day. I've always been the curious type, and (of course) know virtually no one from my area of the states that shares my gift. THANK YOU sh***y stigmas. Nothing better than having something like a minor rash on you backside (in my awkward case) bring you down...

 

I'm sorry if I don't make sense. Maybe in the beginning that's suppose to be how we feel? I just have a lot of things/questions that I want to get out. I find it sad that having this turns people inside out. Most of us have enough problems and adding this is only the cherry on our sundae (it's so cold, but I'm craving one at the moment).

 

Point of my matter...

 

This place has helped me so much in the last few days/going on 2 weeks, and I want to get better, know more, help others, feel whole, make true friends, continue to be honest, show support, and the list goes on and on and on and so on.

 

Back to my discussion title. I have met people here who I can't wait to cultivate (my father is a farmer) a connection with, but I want to know what are your thoughts about herpes dating websites? Just want to know how people think/feel about it and if anyone has tried it?

 

I was never afraid to date (3 months ago), but now it is different. H has already been my "wingman", and I have lost the guy that drove me to want to get this darn rash on my A** tested and it sucked the same exact way that is does when you hurt your knee (remember Peter Griffin...)

BUT, I know know who he really is and I'm happy to not be ignorant anymore, just honest. I guess this is my present hurdle.

 

I just want to know thoughts and opinions. That's all.

 

[mandymoon]

Lol your pretty funny so I see that as a big plus but I'm one for that pretty much the same humor. I also have been wondering that and someone somewhere else had mentioned it was fishy I been scared to try it now and I am a w seeking a w so I figured my options would be even harder......then you put my state and that cuts it by thousands so I dunno I would like to hear about it too.

[seeker]

haven't tried pos single but I think I remember them being sued successfully for using those profiles on their other sites, thus "outing" people against their will or consent. there are some on here who go ahead and use the regulars like plenty of fish and just put it in their profile. dancer is a big proponent of that, says it means they actually read the whole profile, lol. we males are a visual bunch and words make thinky stuff in head hurt.

[WCSDancer2010]

Well, there's nothing wrong with trying those sites... it can be a good way to get back in the game... but remember, the number of available people on that site will be a lot lower than the standard sites...... and IMO, why limit yourself that way? I am on there, but I'm also on POF and OKC ... .. and I've actually included a transparancy statement about my condition and it hasn't slowed down the number of men who contact me ... in fact, I know who has read my full profile because they are the ones who will actually say something like they think I'm brave... or they applaud my honesty. My wingman is doing a great job on those sites in weeding out many of the men who are not interested in getting to know ME.. ;)

 

I suggest that you try it if you want to get back in the game, but I would say ultimately don't limit yourself to only "positive" sites because there's a LOT of really great H- people (at least they *think* they are H- ;) ) out there looking for you :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[fairlyme]

Thank you @WCSDancer2010 for the comment. I'm not ready to date, still going through the whole process of coming to terms. Just looking to meet other people, just like on here. Thoughts on +singles was that I would have better access to people in my area, meet new friends. I've just read about the lawsuit on that site and would prefer to not to have my information made public.

[seeker]

@ fairlyme, not sure where your at but there are meetup groups. you cant find them by searching meetup, they are usually under an umbrella groups webpage. we have one in tampa area and ive gone to 4 meetups. mainly dinners with conversation and its always been fun and good to just be normal. just had a non valentines day dinner with 12 people from our group tonight as a matter of fact.

[fairlyme]

@seeker I'm from the Midwest. Wouldn't even know where to look for a meetup group here.

[seeker]

http://www.herpes.com/supportgroups.shtml

 

this is where I found mine. it was one of the HELP groups. ill ask someone in mine about the Midwest. I think I saw you write Missouri elsewhere? ours allows anyone in US to join because florida is a travel destination. we also have a huge annual thing down here.

[livinginrainbow]

I joined positive singles almost a month ago. I can't speak on the privacy.... I have my photos set so that women can not see my photo, men who are not gold members can not see my photo, and people with out a photo posted cant see it. It makes me feel more comfortable. I've had coffee and dinner with someone, I don't talk to him anymore. But me and the first guy who contacted me, I've had a super great connection with. (Luckily we are both really weird and have our quirks, outside if the H+ status). Its an interesting roller coaster. I opted to do it because I really need to be more comfortable with who I am its a super liberating thing.

[seeker]

it wasn't general privacy nor privacy within the website. it was that they took profiles from the positives website and included them, intact in other of there matchmaking websites.

[livinginrainbow]

it wasn't general privacy nor privacy within the website. it was that they took profiles from the positives website and included them, intact in other of there matchmaking websites.

 

I understand that.

[sickoflifelessons]

I was on it for a little while when I was first diagnosed. I met one guy off it; he had had H for a while and it was really nice to talk to him. We had a great time and he was cute, but there was no chemistry. I didn't talk to anyone else on the site that I found very interesting and after a while it started to upset me because I felt like those were my "only" options. I also felt like a lot of the people who messaged me were automatically settling. I got a few messages that said something along the lines of, "now that I have this and I can't date regular girls, I guess you'll do" (paraphrasing, obviously). I want to be someone's first choice, not someone they're with *just* because we both happen to carry the same virus.

 

Then I joined tinder (mostly because my friend told me it was nice to just boost your confidence - which is definitely true as a girl), and I sort of accidentally met my first post-H boyfriend there. I met my second post-H/current boyfriend on OKCupid.

 

I didn't disclose in my profiles - I waited about a month to tell both of them. I think it's very brave to disclose up front, but I'm not there yet, and not sure I ever will be because I'm extremely private about all personal things.

 

I just wanted to share my experience because I think positive singles can be helpful and a good option for some, if not many, - if you want to be on other dating sites, there's no reason not to be.