After successful disclosure then what?

[whitedaisies]

So here is my issue, the guy accepts the risk after a way too detailed disclosure and then what?

 

I have symptoms all the time. Hourly, daily, either burn, itch, numbness etc.

 

I have swabbed from here to high heaven w negatives....all of them. I have a feeling I hve more than one thing going on down there. I know it's ghsv1 but could also be neuralgia issues, yeast, pre menopausal crap. Yay!

 

So if I always feel weir down tere, how do I know when it's safe...the first rule is to not have sex with an ob or prodome symptoms....well hey, that's me everyday! Ence celibacy for obout a year.

 

So how do you have sex when u are not soon everything u can to keep partner safe bc u can't decipher what is what?

 

I have received pcr swabs so I am waiting for sthng really obvious to come up so I can swab but I probably won't know for another month or so what these damn bumps are and if I I obstained from sex when there are no symptoms I might as well become a nun

 

How does one wrap their head around this?

 

Thank you.

[whitedaisies]

How can I with a good conscious day I am soon every thing I can do to protect him when really I am not. I have told him I have symptoms all the time and I get no sores and I don't know what's what. He says he doesn't care but what if e thinks I am just crazy or over thinking and not taking me seriously, do I have to pound it over his head til I totally freak him out?

 

 

[whitedaisies]

How do you edit, I have so many damn spelling mistakes

[WCSDancer2010]

Editing is done by scrolling over tot he right of your comment ... there's a box and an options symbol ... click on the symbol and you will see the edit drop down ;)

 

Now, here's how I see *your* situation. At present you have had no positive swabs, correct? Which means *if* you are shedding then it's very lightly. I suggest that if he seems to be ok with the risk (and sounds like you've done your best to scare the pants back ON him, then if you take antivirals and use condoms and avoid anything if your symptoms are really strong, then he's informed and taking a known risk and you are doing what you can to protect him.

 

Perhaps you can try the Female condom ... it covers a larger area so that can give you better peace of mind AND many say the sensation is better for both partners ;)

 

And when you are done, ask him to wash off so you can worry less ... just to make you feel better :)

 

Remember, he's a GROWN MAN ... you have informed him thoroughly ... LET HIM decide what his comfort level is and do what you can to protect him. Remember, you can't control everything ... there's risks in ALL parts of life, and it's all about risk management and then living life to the fullest :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[whitedaisies]

Thank u for your support.

 

That iPhone adapter thingy would come in handy rigt now. Lol.

 

It's a lot for the brain to take it. But I can't stay celibate forever.

 

I would really like to feel normal for just a week down there again. Ugh!

 

Anyway at least I have a successful disclosure and that is sthng I could never imagine doing. I don't know if I did scare the pants ON him but I definitely tried.

 

It seems that some people weight risk appropriately and I seem to put too much weight than necessary especially me being the one w the virus. So my risk assessment has improved with other things during this process. I am weighting better. But sometimes it's just a lot. And I panic.

 

I am moving forward and I hope this goes well. I always try to anticipate the "what if"...and I fail to enjoy the moment.

 

The only time I truly enjoyed sexual activity post diagnosis was when I knew I couldn't pass it to my partner bc he had h.

 

I dunno we will see.

[WCSDancer2010]

Sometimes you just have to learn to let go of control of the future ...

 

Look - ask this guy to go reeeeal slow with you ... do some of those things we posted on the "Keeping my partner safe" conversation ... get to a place where you can trust your body .... where you can relax ... this guy sounds like he's pretty understanding ... and the build-up may be really fun over several weeks ... and hopefully one day it will just happen and you will be ok :)

[whitedaisies]

: )

[Getbetter111]

I have had sex a few times and always thinking I am going to pass it on because of the constant feelings I'm having. To me it's just crazy that it can infected the area for that long. People with oral hsv1 don't seem to have the symptoms as bad or as long. I'm with you on the everyday part praying I can just feel like I did.seems like some go back to feel normal some never do? Almost everyone I talked to on here with Ghsv1 has the lingering prodroms.Vets can you really say that you ever go back to feeling like you did post H ?

[WCSDancer2010]

AGAIN @Getbetter111... the majority of people on here are the ones who are having unusual experiences/difficult or ongoing OB's/etc ... so you WILL see more people on here than is normal having ongoing prodromes or whatever.

 

So AGAIN... yes ... in MY experience, people DO eventually get back to normal. Now, perhaps there are the very few who have ongoing issues, but that percentage is VERY low .... and AGAIN, you are only ... what? ... 4 months or so in ... I've tried to explain to you many times, it can take up to a year for things to settle down ... and I'm sorry you are dealing with the prodromes ... all you can do at this point is keep trying the different things we've given you to try to help your body to fight it ... get that counseling (as stress will only make it worse) and try to be patient with your body and the process ;)

[MMissouri]

@Getbetter111, Stepping forward as a vet and telling you that I feel exactly the same as I did pre-H diagnosis. :)

[whitedaisies]

Ok he's not going anywhere, disclosed absolutely everything, zero secrets....

 

I can't scare him apparently...I have tried.

[WCSDancer2010]

Then sink into it and enjoy your time with him ... lucky you! My most recent "connection" online was all about honesty ... yet turns out he was using a photograph of a model as his profile photo (I asked him if he was a model - it was a too-well-composed and perfect photo to be anything else ... he said no ... other yellow flags were coming up so I did a reverse search on the photo and found it first try... *sigh* ). Some of us would kill to find a guy that is honest and that you can't scare off. ;)

[whitedaisies]

Sorry about ur bad luck!!! Really happy you have great intuition. It serves you well and will pay off in dividends....

 

I am lucky but still petrified. But happy to be getting some lol