I am running out of ideas

[Ihaveittoo1975]

I got this shit in the beginning of October of 2014. After the first ob cleared I had no issues for the next three to four weeks, despite actually trying to trigger another ob to see how much body could handle. Then I had sex first time post dx which triggered a rather hefty ob with lots of little blisters. I went through a stressful period at work with lots of traveling just before Christmas and I got my third ob. After New Years I was again going through a very stressful period with my ongoing divorce and I would say since it has been constant obs for me. Surprisingly my blood pressure was considerably lower apthan it has been for the past several years when I did an annual check up last month, something I thought would be an indication of my stress level being lower. I guess not.

 

I am a very healthy individual, eat healthy and generally quite fit for an almost 40 year, old so I really don't know what's going on. It's very demoralizing to wake up and see a new little blister almost daily. Luckily I am (despite this shit) a self confident guy, but I don't know for how much longer I can take this. I can't even get on the treadmill in an effort to be even healthier without getting an ob. How frustrating is that? I am SO disappointed in how my body deals with this, despite me trying to really take precautions.

 

I have not taken any antivirals up to this point, but I had some acyclovir left from a prescription my doc prescribed last year and the last couple of days I have started taking them. Hard to say if they do me any good, I still get new blisters. Once these are out I will get on Valtrex as it's easibly attainable in the country where I live, even without a prescription. I feel as they are my last chance at living a somewhat normal life with this condition. If they don't help, well, then I really don't know what to do.

 

I realize I am still in the first year, but the fact that it feels as it's only getting worse and that almost everything I do is causing an ob is very difficult. Yesterday I was out walking the streets of Paris all afternoon, and sure enough, when I got back I had another little sucker on my balls. An area where I actually up until last week didn't have any issues with. My obs were always on the sgphaft, which has now been clear for a while.

 

The only type of prodome I've had lately is some tension in the left lymph node in the groin area. For a while I felt a lot of tension in the area of the lower stomach/just above the pubic area, but that appears to have subsided. Something I see as a good sign. I no longer really seem to have any nerve issues, which is also good. It's really the constant recurring blisters that are driving me nuts. I am getting a lot of interest from the ladies on the (non H) dating site I am on, but it is so hard knowing that I have this dirty little secret. I don't personally feel dirty, but it's still a dirty little secret.

 

I really could live with the fact that I have H if it weren't for all of these obs, but having a constant reminder is killing me. For those who complain how it's a constant reminder when taking that blue pill every day, count yourself very lucky. That sure as hell beats what some of us are going through. When I first read about others who were having constant obs I though to myself, "Well, that sure as hell aint gonna be me". Now thatI am one of them, I can really sympathize with what they are going through. I can definitely see how a less confident person would have a very hard time dealing with this.

 

This turned into a long rant, but I am at whits end, I really don't know what to do. I am desperate for any suggestions you guys may have.

[whitedaisies]

@ihaveittoo1975

 

I am sorry you have so many ob. I hate to be optimistic here but thank goodness you don't have much nerve pain or prodome issues with it.

 

I think antivirals are a good idea here as suppressive therapy. Help your body and your mind. Constant reminders make it so mich harder to cope.

 

I know @seeker used a spray bottle with hydrogen peroxide to spray his nether regions. I think he said it helped.

 

I know it's hard but it will get better.

 

Hope people have other suggestions too.

 

I hear Europe does not have the stigma that USA and Canada has. Once u get a hold of this I am sure you won't have a problem.

 

Good luck

Xo

[Ihaveittoo1975]

Thanks for your support ladies, much appreciated.

 

I was chatting with my soon to be ex wife a few minutes ago. I told her how it's impossible for a non H person to fathom how this condition affects people. Despite us going through a divorce she has been quite supportive through it all, and she would want me to come back to her with H and all. In fact, she sees me as a much more compassionate person post H, so I guess there is a tiny silver lining to it all.

 

I do feel lucky that I no longer live in the US based on my new status. I think things would feel even worse if I had to deal with this crap over there due to the stigma. I have disclosed to four girls about my status. One who I have not had any sexual relations with, but we have become friends in my new home town. She doesn't see the big deal.

 

The second I had a one night stand stand with pre H, and I'm pretty sure she would be ok with dating me as she doesn't either see it as a big deal. In fact when I told her, her exact words were "Whoever would reject you over this is an ignorant idiot". :) That comment actually made me feel quite good and boosted my confidence some.

 

The third is my only colleague who knows, we have had a physical relationship for quite some time with some awesome, wild sex, and the only one I have had sex with post dx. She too has been very supportive and provided the physical closeness I crave to make this easier to cope with. I really miss our wild, sweaty nights from the past but I also appreciate when we just kiss and snuggle. :) Pretty sure she would be ok with this, should I want to take our relationship further.

 

The fourth girl I disclosed to was a couple of weekends ago on a bench at 3am after only having "known" her for a few hours. We hit it off in a bar and I could tell where it was headed. In my old days it would have led to a bed friend for at least a night, but now it was so different. I had a really hard time relaxing and enjoying her company, even if there was a mutual attraction. As I am an honest guy I decided to tell her why it would not lead anywhere (I was of course having an ob), not to leave her wondering. She took it well and didn't see it as a big deal either. Had I not been having an ob I might have "pushed" things a bit harder, but I saw no point doing so. It didn't devastate me, but it sure as hell was very frustrating.

 

The thought that one idiotic misstep on my part can cause one so much grief is what's making this so hard to accept. Had I only wrapped it up I am 99% certain I would be as ignorant about H as I was before catching it. I'm quite sure the virus entered through a cut I had on my shaft which would have been protected by a condom. The first ob was in the exact spot where the cut had been. I obviously wish the girl had told me about her status, but I blame myself more for letting the alcohol cloud my judgement that night.

 

@earthquake_grl, I do believe flirting is allowed here. ;) NZ is one of the few places on this planet I have not visited, I've heard it's very nice.

 

When I was recently diagnosed I started talking to an American girl on another H forum who by chance was living in the country I grew up in, but in the process of moving back to the US. We hit it off and she was the first H person I talked to directly, and she gave me much needed support. Had our timing been better and we had met in person before she left I believe there had been potential for more. She is now in a relationship with a H guy back in the US, but we still stay in touch as friends, and for support. In fact, she is a member here too after I told her about this community, but I don't think she spends that much time here anymore. Luckily she is at a point where H really doesn't cross her mind that often. I hope to be there soon myself, I refuse to accept my current status as something permanent. I just need to figure out how to get out of it.

 

Ok, some more venting out of the way...

[Sadpanda]

Sorry to hear about the constant outbreaks. Have you tried applying lemon balm extract? You can swab with it during prodrome/tingly phase and it should prevent blisters. And if you apply when you have blisters, they usually deflate/dry up the next day. My bf had an ob recently and he applied at night to some very inflamed-looking, fluid filled blisters, the next day they had flattened to skin level and after that became tiny pin-prick scabs. He was also on valtrex to heal the ob, but didn't see results until the lemon balm.

I am on suppressive therapy with valtrex, and I haven't had an ob since I started in feb. And I was getting them monthly. My bf has only had 2 outbreaks so far, so he's not on meds yet as he hasn't hit the required "4 in a yr" mark yet. So it sounds like you're definately a candidate.

And that's great news about the disclosure successes. I am almost 40 myself and worry about dating again if my current relationship doesn't work out. Your stories give me some hope. Hope you can find some relief soon...

[whitedaisies]

Try getting h in 40s with 2nd sexual partner while I was having my primary oral ob....he kissed me and went down on me and I got ghsv1. I pretty much infected myself. Stigs pretty bad and has been a large part of my struggle. If only I realized these atypical symptoms in my mouth were h...if only we sidnt have oral that night....if only

 

Ob remind me of it all the time as do physical symptoms. It's a constant reminder of how Unlucky I was. I would have actually preferred to get ghsv2 from genital penetration. The way I got it is a total mind fuck.

 

I can't change it. You can't change it. Its a reminder of how vulnerable our bodies and minds are. We have to try to move through it. If you get h under control it will help speed up the regret. This is what I am hoping for myself. When physical symptoms subside it will help me heal emotionally and then just become a nusance.

 

Go on antivirals. It will allow you to obtain the sexual intimacy us humans desire. Hopefully your body will respond well.

[whitedaisies]

Sorry for the rant...I guess I had to get it out. I am still angry.

 

I really hope you get these physical symptoms under control...seems like you are a great guy.

 

 

[Ihaveittoo1975]

We all do need to rant, I definitely get it. So no worries.

 

And thanks for the compliment, I like to consider myself as a good guy. :)

[whitedaisies]

When I realized what I wrote I tried to go back and edit and erase but I couldn't find the damn button. Thanks for your empathy.

 

@ihaveittoo1975 I can tell you are a great guy and women will see it...and they have wih all your successful disclosures. Europe is a great place to be with h. Enjoy it.

 

Have u tried lighter workouts? Not so strenuous and I bet on antivirals you will be able to work out.

 

Good luck

[Sil88]

Why is Europe a great place to be with h? It has a reputation here too. I wish I could get a few blisters again so I could try to believe it's just our mutual friend.

[Ihaveittoo1975]

I did try just ten minutes of light jogging after 45 minutes of lifting semi heavy weights for 45 minutes last week, which lead to another small blister. Honestly at the rate the blisters are popping up I am starting to think they are simply multiplying by themselves. :)

 

I got an unexpected break from work so I am now back in Spain for a few days. I have decided to go and get Valtrex tomorrow, on top of tea tree oil and coconut oil to treat it topically. I started using Syper Lysine+ a few weeks ago and initially it appeared to work, but it now seems as every new treatment I introduce to my body this damn virus manages to find a way around it.

[Ihaveittoo1975]

@Sil88, I think it depends on in which country in Europe you are in. From what I understand H does carry some stigma in the UK, but not as bad as in the US.

 

Continental Europe seems to see it as a much less severe condition. In my home country of Sweden, where apparently (shockingly) some 30-40% of the population carries HSV2, it's quite accepted.

[whitedaisies]

I have heard from a friend who disclosed in Europe (France) specifically that it wasnt as big of an issue to the women he saw. And it can't be worse than it is here.

 

I am not saying it's nothing but I don't think the stigma is as bad.

 

How about putting tea tree oil before you work out to discourage it from popping up!?

 

Just be careful tea tree oil can be harmful to your skin if you use too much.

 

Xo

[Ihaveittoo1975]

Yeah, I will start to dilute it with coconut oil as a carrier. Might be a good idea to put it on pre-workout, except people will wonder why I smell like a pina colada.

[whitedaisies]

Girls like that smell. ;-)

[StillMeButWiser]

@ihaveitto1975- this morning I was reading about adrenal fatigue and how this can effect herpes. Read up on it, perhaps this is happening to you. Long term stress effects just not immunity but adrenal gland. If this is the case, cardio might be aiding it. I believe this is happening to me. A constant outbreak (red streak/paper cut from labia to vagina) since initial outbreak in jan. Just started valtrex. 1000mg not working. 2000mg works but dr said not to take too much. But it works, dr. Driving force has to be stress. I have been beyond stress since October; my moms passing, me taking her off life support, my dad was confined to wheelchair in nursing home recovering from horrible motorcycle accident. So everything fell on me. Home now but not as mobile. First holiday w out mom, single mom to 3 kids. Falling flat on my back hitting head on tile needless to say cocunsion. I believe this is what woke up dormant herpes. Bf of 4 yrs slammed door on me because of herpes. Of coarse the ongoing outbreak doesn't help either. Doing my best to adjust to my new life. Freaking hard. I miss my mom, I miss my health, I miss that warm feeling that kept me going. But I'm still standing, little wiser, determined, certainly not damaged because this cute little package is still priceless. Just like you.

 

Now reading this thread and finding out cardio can cause outbreaks. Great. All life's little pleasures (exercise, chocolate, sex, alcohol) are culprits. Lol.

 

So I think the best thing for us is to boost our immunity, lower stress and antivirals. Side note, from my personal experience, a chiropractor can help too. Your spine is your central nervous system and if that is in check the body can operate 100%, healing itself. Worked for my allergies but the fall caused a set back.

 

I so feel your frustration. Don't give up. This to will pass.

[WCSDancer2010]

I have gone through spells where everything seemed to set me off... especially when I was in early menopause and my hormones were complicating things ... also early marriage when we went through a lot of stuff adjusting to the married life ...

 

Point being, when *something* stressed me, I'd have significantly more OB's. I've done a lot of personal work to learn to deal with stress and I attribute that and menopause to significantly lowering my OB's ... AND when I got an OB I always turned to Ammonium Alum to knock it down ... I found the faster I got on it internally with the antivirals and externally with the Alum, the less frequent the OB's were over time too... so keep working on finding what works for you to knock it down and do what you can to let go of stress.... and hopefully your immune system will eventually gain the upper hand :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[Ihaveittoo1975]

I picked up a dose of Valtrex yesterday and took the first pill (500mg). I also started applying tea tree oil to the lesions and they do seem to dry up rather quickly with the oil. I have read here that most people dilute it with a carrier oil, but I simply put it on raw. It didn't sting and so far I have not had any negative side effects, except for dry skin around the area I applied it too. I think I might have overdone it slighly the frist couple of days, but it all looks good now.

 

Those were the good news, now to the bad news. I had some sexy times this past night and morning. No intercourse (extremely frustrating for both of us as we have had great sex pre H and we both so desperately wanted to "feel" each other again) but quite a bit of rubbing with my jammies on (they needed a severe wash afterwards hahaha) and after my partner had been pleased a couple of times it was time for me to get some "relief", ending the session with a hand job. I popped a Valtrex right away, but less than an hour later I noticed four to five tiny blisters. Obviously quite demoralizing as my previous blisters are just about gone and I was hoping for at least a few days of being ob free. I popped another pill and applied tea tree oil as soon as I noticed them, now anxiously awaiting the result.

 

My question is, is there a transition period for the suppresive therapy to take affect, or should one normally expect immediate relief? I'm starting to suspect that I caught the monster version of H. Maybe me and my body still just need more time.

[Ihaveittoo1975]

@stillmebutwiser,

 

It seems like we both have gone through a similar very stressful phase of our lives. I'm really sorry to hear about your mom's passing, I can't imagine how that feels. Fortunately for me I have not had to deal with something as traumatic as that, but a divorce, dad treated for prostate cancer, quite irratic work conditions with loads of travelling all over the world, living out of a suitcase both while at work and on my time off, moving from place to place to have a bed to sleep on, and finally moving to a new country on top of dealing with H, all in the past six months has really done me in.

 

I have a tendency to normally be a "glass half empty" type of guy, but I have really tried to keep a positive attitude through despite all of this and not let this drag me down, but it is really difficult.

 

I can't wait for this infamous first year to pass. I'm not a man of faith, but I pray things will quiet down for me too as time goes. This is not the way to live life. I wish you, and the rest of us chronic sufferers best of luck.

[whitedaisies]

Well generally they say there can be immediate effect. But that beig said with te consistent ob you have had, it will take 5 days to fully get into your system and aid in transmission according to h experts. If you are like some of us misfits, it may take a few more days to get it under control.

 

Likely there was too much friction during your sexy time and that's why it appeared again.

 

Good luck

[Ihaveittoo1975]

Thanks wd. Hopefully I will notice a difference in a few days.

 

Yeah, the friction was most likely the culprit. So annoying. One just can't win it seems.

[whitedaisies]

At my worst I noticed a difference at 2g per day and done for a month. It's a strong dose and you hve to monitor your liver.

 

 

[Ihaveittoo1975]

I think I will leave it at max 1000mg/day for now to see if that does it.

 

So far the blisters from this morning seem to not get worse at least. Not sure if it's the valtrex or the tea tree, or combination of both.

[whitedaisies]

Combination of both likely.

 

Yup for sure. I would try at 1g first and see how u do.

 

Good luck.

 

[WCSDancer2010]

I tell people to give the meds 5-10 days before you start to judge how they are working for you. Also, please, cut the Tea Tree oil with something else (Coconut Oil is one of the best as it's also anti-viral and very soothing). There are only a couple Essential Oils that you can use neat - all others need to be diluted because they are extreme concentrations of the active ingredients ... ;)

[Ihaveittoo1975]

I bought coconut oil but then realized it was solid and needed to be kept cool to last. With all of my travelling that is impossible. I saw your link to fractioned oil, but I don't think I can get my hands on it over here.