HIV PEP drugs

[ivoryrain]

Early yesterday morning I was raped (again...like wtf is wrong with me and why can't people just leave me alone???). Now that I know I have H, I know I have a higher risk of contracting HIV. The doctor did not see any breaks in the skin and said that my risk is likely very minimal, but she gave me HIV post-exposure prophylaxis drugs to help give me a bit more peace of mind. These are antiretrovirals. I'm not sure what the difference is between antiretrovirals and antivirals, but does anyone know if there is anything I should be concerned about with taking HIV PEP and having H? The PEP drugs are the same drugs that people who already have HIV take daily (Isentress and Truvada). I assume if anything it may prevent an OB, but I just want to know if there's anything I need to know. Idk if I'll even be able to do the full 30 day dose because of the nausea ugh.

[whitedaisies]

@ivoryrain

 

I know nothing about the drugs but I wanted to say I am so sorry you got raped. We are all here for you.

 

Hugs

Xo

[cariboo]

I dont know what to say. Im so sorry. Big hug

[WCSDancer2010]

I have no idea but I'm sure he wouldn't have given them to you if they would be a problem with Herpes...

 

I'm so sorry that you experienced that again..... and I hope you will press charges. No means no and if you are not in a place to say yes or no, that means no too ... and any guy who doesn't "get" that needs a little time in the slammer to help him to get a little reality check.

 

(((HUGS))) friend... we are here for you ...

 

Rape Crisis Center locator http://centers.rainn.org/

 

[ivoryrain]

@whitedaisies

@cariboo

@WCSDancer2010

 

Thank you, everyone. I'm not going to press charges. I go to one of the largest universities in the US, and he is a football player (which football is obviously a big deal here at a D1 school). That would be painting a huge target on myself, especially because I did not have any physical injuries. I went to the campus student health center, but I refused to go to the hospital for a rape kit. It would be he-said, she-said and would never stand in court. I just can't go through the criminal "justice" system because I got screwed over by it as a young teenager the first time I was sexually assaulted (I clearly have a long history of sexual assault/rape).

 

I could potentially go to Student Conduct where they only need a preponderance of evidence to administer punishment, but, again, that would be painting a huge target on myself. Not to mention, I'm friends with one of his teammates and a few other people, and I don't want to jeopardize those friendships.

 

These are probably BS reasons in most people's eyes, but it's just not something I can go through again.

[whitedaisies]

It's your decision and youdo what you feel comfortable.

 

Just make sure you are focusing on you. Have you considered seeing a therapist?

 

Hugs

[ivoryrain]

@whitedaisies

 

I'm supposed to meet with the sexual violence coordinator in Student Advocacy. She isn't a therapist, but she's there to talk things out and advocate if you're missing class or assignments. I didn't see a therapist after I was raped last year. I had extensive counseling when I was younger, so I was able to cope decently well. I may look into it this time, as my rapist is obviously on campus with me, but I'll probably never run into him.

[whitedaisies]

Make sure you are talking to someone for support.

 

I suppressed a sexual assault for years and always thought it was no big deal and until h and going through therapy for that I realized how that experience shaped my life and choices when I intellectually thought it had no impact.

 

Hugs!!!

[WCSDancer2010]

I REALLY hope you will get some professional help ... and the link I gave you can help you to get support.

 

Two things: Is there ANY way you can get to the H Opp weekend? Although it's not "therapy" I've seen people have some HUGE growth in that one weekend and you would gain a support network like no other. I would LOVE to see you there and I think it would do you a world of good. If you use the code PAM10 you can take 10% off of the cost of the weekend ;)

 

Also, let me tell you one thing... and you can take it however you want. My ex taught at an Ivy League Prep School and I lived on the campus for nearly 15 yrs... and while it's really nice to be in one of those elite schools (High school OR college level) I can tell you that NO school it worth being at if you are just trying to keep the status quo and not rock the boat in order to stay there. I've seen FAR too many young people (including my oldest daughter) compromise themselves to fit in and thus make a LOT of poor choices for fear of either not fitting in or becoming "a target". I really, REALLY hope you will take a long, hard look at whether this school it the right place for you (and don't worry about what your parents/whatever will think... this is YOUR life). Don't waste 4 years in a place where you are losing YOURSELF in an effort to do what others may think you should be doing, ok?

 

I also hope you will reconsider standing up for yourself AND for other women who this guy will likely try to rape in the future. Yes, you might put a target on yourself. OR, you may become the voice for so many who have experienced the same treatment, and you may give them the courage to speak out and call out those who have done them wrong. One thing I have learned in life: no matter what your age, if you don't speak your truth you will regret it (and often pay for it through poor mental and physical health) later.

 

I am going to also ask @Adrial to chime in here (or PM you) - He's done Rape counseling as I recall and he may be just the right person that you need to talk to right now ..

 

(((HUGS)))

[mr_hopp]

Just PM'd you @ivoryrain ... Let's connect. I'm here for you.

[ivoryrain]

@WCSDancer2010

 

I'll probably go to counseling on campus. I'm already in a sexual violence awareness/support group, so I have that as well.

 

I would love to go, but I don't think I'll have 3 days of personal time accrued by then. I just got my permanent position at work, so I'm just now starting to accrue time off ha.

 

I love my school. We all stick together when something bad happens. I think that the CAMPUS would support me, but not the general public. If you accuse a football player of rape here, it's going to make state (perhaps even national) headlines because of how successful our football team is. (Trying to not give out TOO much info about where I go to school just in case haha.) Any time one of our football players screw up, it's all over every channel and paper, and if it's serious enough, it makes national news. I had a hard enough time in high school with the local coverage of my sexual assault case (because the main guy was the prosecutor's son), and people were so cruel. I can't do it again.

 

I do worry about if he's done this before, though. I try not to think about it. I'm sure he can easily get away with it because other girls would likely be intimidated to pursue anything like I am because he's a student athlete. That does bother me. I know that I don't have any hard evidence even if I did decide to proceed criminally or with student conduct. But I also know that it only takes one person to step forward for others to come forward too.

 

Idk. I'll be more certain about how I want to proceed once I meet with student advocacy.

[WCSDancer2010]

Well, for H Opp. unless you work on the weekend, you shouldn't need 3 days off ... maybe 1 for travel in on Friday so you would be well rested. If not this one, maybe the next one. I hope we will have more than 1 this year!

 

I get where you are coming from... and I hope that the student advocacy will help you to find some way to at least get him some ....er... guidance (maybe from his coach) to stop this shit. I also totally get how the schools do their best to keep this stuff out of the news (I've experienced a LOT of it as I lived on an Ivy League campus for 12 years and championed for my ex hubby when his school turned against him so I've seen to what extent they will go to in order to keep their reputation "clean" ... ugh) ) ... but that's exactly why it keeps happening. Until they are outed they won't take the actions needed to stop it - because to take the steps is an admission that they know that it's happening... :(

 

(((HUGS))) - I hope you get the help and support that you need ... you know we are here for you!

[ivoryrain]

@WCSDancer2010

 

Yeah I work every weekend :( haha.

 

My school was under investigation so it has really stepped up its game. I'm sure SOMETHING would be done if he were found responsible.

 

Thank you! I really appreciate it.

[WCSDancer2010]

Ah - well, perhaps you ask the student advocacy to have someone talk to his coach ... to be honest, if his coach talks to him that may be enough to change how he behaves because the jocks often see the coach as their mentor ... if nothing else, he will know that he's being watched for unacceptable behavior and that his place on the team may be in jeopardy if anyone else goes to the coach with the same accusation...