waiting on herpes test results...but yeah

[justagirl72]

The waiting is the worst part. I have bumps but I'm not really in any pain...I would describe it as more of general discomfort. I'm praying it is some how not herpes... but there's not really another explanation. I don't feel much right now or know what to think.

 

I had unprotected sex with someone I thought I could trust. 7 days later the bumps appeared. Is it safe to say I got it from him?

 

I'm going to see him again and I feel comfortable bringing it up...but I know he might try to make me feel bad and say I was sleeping with someone else... but I haven't. Is it fair to say he gave it to me? I know it is likely he didn't even know he had it. We'd had sex only once or twice before (and I didn't show symptoms) but last week was particularly stressful and I wasn't sleeping much and over working myself so it was like the perfect storm for an outbreak.

 

The doctor at the clinic gave me meds to start taking. She said I could wait for results or start taking them now. I'm going to take them now.

 

I realize I'm rambling. I'm just numb and kind of like what now...

 

I am a good person. A strong person. I will be okay. This just really sucks.

 

I have so many questions.

[2Legit2Quit]

@justagirl72 sorry to hear, we all feel the way you do as well at first. What makes you feel so sure it is herpes? I do have a friend who she only for what you did for her primary OB and recurrents; just bumps w some discomfort. My recurrents are like tht now, but my primary was f'ing hell.

 

I think you started off on the right foot and came to this site. These pamphlets would be great to download and give to him, to help him understand most are asymptomatic. I had a Gf who disclosed to a guy last yr and he said it was a deal breaker. They remained friends and 3 months later, he said he didn't care and she was worth the risk. She had them both get tested and what do you know? He's positive for HSV 2 as well and recalls a rash here and there and wasn't sure what it was. Happens more often than you think.

 

What questions do you have? Keep your chin up.

[justagirl72]

What makes me so sure? I just don't know what else it could be.... the nurse said it wasn't warts. What I have are definitely blisters. I spent a lot of time googling pictures... and I was never like... yeah that's what it is. More like squint and turn my head to the side...I guess that's what mine look like lol

 

It is crazy because I consider myself to have a crazy immune system. I work with preschoolers and never get sick. I work out 5 days a week and am on a strict diet. So this is just blowing my mind.

 

What's the difference between hsv1 and 2? When I do get my results what are questions to ask?

 

My mind is spinning.

[2Legit2Quit]

Well did he perform oral sex on you? If you have HSV 1, it is from oral sex. If from 2, it was from sex.

 

They not to be so hard on yourself, he likely is clueless about his diagnosis if it is 2. I dunno, everyone is different w this virus. I have a friend w an autoimmune disease and she's only ever had like two obs in 10yrs. I have two autoimmune diseases and the virus has wrecked havoc on me. There's not telling how one is going to act. You may have this one OB, to never have one agin. Be kind and be patient w yourself.

[justagirl72]

Thank you for your responses. Seriously.

 

Yes he did perform oral. So I guess it could be either. Lovely. Should I bring it up with him before I get the results back? Or just wait?

[justagirl72]

He's stopping over now to say hi. Prob not going to bring it up. Ugh

[2Legit2Quit]

I think just explain it to him about how you canbgwtbit by type of H and that although he may have never had symptoms, he could be an asymptomatic carrier.

[WCSDancer2010]

@justagirl72

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

Certainly your timeline and symptoms sound like H but the only way to know will be the swab ... so I hope they get back to you soon so you know what you are dealing with. Make sure to ask for the TYPE if they don't tell you...some Dr's don't think it's important but it IS if you are dating because it will affect what protection, if any, you use with future partners depending on THEIR status.

 

As for the immune system...well, with Herpes, until you get it, odds are you don't have much, if any antibodies to it.... so it can't fight it off... it's not like a cold in that sense ... with colds, we get one, we get rid of it, but we still have the antibodies to it... so when we get the next one we have at least *some* antibodies left to help to keep it from being as bad (and likely in between you were exposed many times to people with colds and your immune system kept you from getting it). With H, it's more about whether your partner was shedding enough virus and you had some kind of knick/cut/rub/etc that allowed the virus to gain entry to your body ... crazy thing is that a few hours or a day later, they may not be shedding at all. This virus is tricky that way 😞

 

As for how to tell him? Find out which one you have first... then you can tell him whether you think you got it from the oral or regular sex... and these handouts may help you to explain it to him....

 

Yes, it sucks... AND.. you will be ok. Take it from an old fart veteran who got it at 17 and is on the other side of 50 now and who has had a pretty decent life with some speed bumps along the way from my H buddy 😛

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

 

Herpes facts video

 

[justagirl72]

Love that video! Made me cry. Everything is making me cry.

 

Life. Never a dull moment.

 

So if I have hsv1 from receiving oral... wouldn't I also have it on my mouth transmitted via kissing?

[WCSDancer2010]

Nope... that's the crazy thing. Odds are you have been exposed to plenty of guys in the past that had oral HSV1 ... probably even had oral with some that had it ... and you just didn't get it because either they were not shedding, not shedding enough (I recently saw that you need a "dose" of about 40 million viral critters for it to be able to overwhelm the body), or it just plain didn't find a way to get through the skin and to the nerves. So you have probably been lucky up till now ...

 

Most people have oral HSV1 by the time they are young adults ... if you happen to avoid it that long, I think it actually makes you more likely to get it genitally because you don't have any antibodies (tho some people DO get both).

 

We have TONS of great videos if you want to finish crying this out here :)

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4613/inspirational-motivational-videos#latest

[justagirl72]

Crazy. Is it weird that I'm hoping it is hsv1... seems more manageable and less awkward to explain than 2. I have a herpes preference now? What is my life. Ive learned so much in the past 24 hours from this site. The towel thing was good. I was literally using ever paper towel in my apartment and air drying after the shower hahaha. What about my razor? Same deal?

 

What I have also realized is that I can still do all the things I love: I can still go to the gym. Lay by the pool. Go shopping. Go on vacation. Hang out with my friends. Read books.etc. Dating and sex just got a little more tricky than it already is, but at (almost) 26 I should probably stop having casual sex anyway.

 

I am really enjoying these videos!

 

Also. How long for these meds to work? Are they just making the bumps go away or clearing the OB entirely until next time.

 

 

[Anna01]

That is exactly my perspective on it. I can still live! I can still do the things I love :) Also, it is a great thing to wait to have sex. It is a big deal. So let this be that thing that will finally allow you to take it slow. I've always tried to take things slow but failed lol. Now I have no choice...I have to :) So we should just embrace this challenge. I am happy to see you handling it well! Keep it up girlie.

[Anna01]

I don't think it is weird to hope for that at all. Society accepts one more than the other. Naturally you want the more accepted, less stigma associated virus. I am not mad at ya ;-) I am positive for both...must admit I would prefer just the one but oh well right

[justagirl72]

Don't worry girl, knowing my luck I will end up being positive for both. I have notoriously bad luck in like... all aspects of my life which really helps me take everything in stride haha

 

The nurse said results could take 2 weeks to come back. My birthday is in two weeks. Happy birthday to me! But I just want to know now! But she also said that positive results come back more quickly. So maybe ill know by Friday.

 

Once I get the result and type(s) then I can really get to the nitty gritty of what I am dealing with.

[Anna01]

Well I wish you the best of luck! Live it up on your birthday! Happy Birthday in advance :)

[2Legit2Quit]

We all wish it was type 1 initially, because it is easier to explain and has less stigma, but also because we're told that it is less aggressive down south. However, there are plenty of people on here that are having a hell of a time w type 1 and constant symptoms for a yr or more. At the end if the day, it's still herpes. So I don't want you to get caught up in hoping it is one and then experience raw devastation again, because it is not. Good luck and keep us up to date!

[Hello81]

Hello :) this support forum is great for all of us suffering. A little while ago I made a poor life changing desicion and slept with someone I just met.. I am a 33 yr old male and basically had a one night stand with a girl from online. A few days after, I had every single classic symptom related to hsv2 .. I was in complete denial, like so much denial that it took me forever to get myself checked and get blood work done..(stayed abstinent since the outbreak) I've never been the type of person to be in denial, however, this event made me a pro at that,, I finally understood that I can't live life without knowing and I certainly would never even think to put someone at risk without telling them I had this disease now that I do have it.. I found out later the girl I messed around with claims she didn't know she had the virus.. I can only go on what she says and I'm gonna try and stay positive no pun intended and believe her.. Hsv2 is a very emotional and draining experience during the coping phase.. I feel for all of you with recent hsv2 diagnosis cause like yourself, I am to thinking about it constantly. Hearing other people who have had the virus for years now on this forum speak about how they are living a good healthy life it def inspiring and we appreciate those stories. Life will in fact get better, I think that if you are single(like me) and worried you may never find the right person to be with I disagree because if we find someone willing to be with us because of this virus that only shows even more how much they care for us.. And for the rejections that we may encounter, just come back to this site for support since we will all be here to help each other out.. I've never really joined a club before so this might be my first one and I'm happy you guys are here with me! I hope you guys realize it will get better just like the veterans on this site tell us.. God bless

Eddie-

[justagirl72]

thanks for the b'day wish Anna!

 

2L2Q...I was not trying to downplay any part of the diagnosis or symptoms so I hope you didn't take it that way. Just trying to find a silver lining to any part of this and keep my sense of humor through it all. Waiting for the results is sucking the life out of me. Also LOL (BUT NOT REALLY) my coworker made a herpes joke today (obviously having no idea what I'm dealing with). Guess you never really notice how often it happens until you are faced with it.

 

Eddie... thank you for sharing your story! Denial is one of my favorite coping mechanisms so I understand where you are coming from. I literally googled "reasons for bumps that are not herpes". Proud of you for getting tested! Not looking forward to the rejection that I am sure to face, as well.

 

Unrelated.... but my friend was telling me about her sexcapades this weekend. And how selfish am I... all I wanted to do was scream...I can't ever have fun casual sex so I don't want to hear about yours! Talk about anger. One day you're living carefree and then BAM.

[WCSDancer2010]

@justagirl72

 

Quick answer about shaving. While you are in the first 6 months, I would be careful about shaving down below because it can set off OB's in some ...and I'd use a different razor until the antibodies have built up... after that, it's not a big deal.. I use one razor for everything :)

 

And as for Casual Sex, it's definitely not out of the question! You just have to be honest and up front, but to be honest: anyone who is engaging in casual sex really *should* know that they are always taking a risk of getting a STD ... and there ARE many who understand that :)

 

Oh.. and I have OHSV1 (since age 4) and GHSV2 (Since 17 ... first sexual experience) .. as well as warts (Also around 17, from my 1st real BF) ... so I can promise you, it's just something you get through ... and if your bloodwork comes up positive for both odds are you got the HSV1 orally like 80% of the population :p

 

 

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/dating-with-herpes Ella

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/70/herpes-disclosure-and-casual-sex general discussion

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6484/another-great-interview-with-ella-dawson-includes-great-info-on-how-she-deals-with-casual-sex

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2056/semi-success-i-dont-know-just-read-it thiisgoingtobeok (Casual Sex Successful Disclosure)

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3271/first-disclosure-was-a-success-i-can-breathe-now- Rogue1313 (casual friend)

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3368/my-one-night-wonder Casual sex Willow

 

[WCSDancer2010]

@Hello81

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

Glad you found us! And it's great to have another guy on here... if you were going to join your first "club", then why not one where you are surrounded by a bunch of AMAZING women??? LOL

 

We are here to support you in whatever way you need ...

 

(((HUGS)))

[Hello81]

Thank you WCSDancer2010 and justagirl for the email!

 

 

 

Just-a-girl like you said... I also was googling hours upon hours of possible other symptoms of what I like to call "skin disorder type 2." my poor iPad about broke from over using it from researching it lol studies show approximately 20% of the population has hsv2, however, I think that number is well down played and is more like 1/3 (roughly 33% IMO) of people actually have hsv2.. Either way, it doesn't change my status of having it and I'm glad to be apart of this with you guys.. Whenever, I get down on myself, I like to remind myself and you should also the great things we have in life..family, friends, your health-we could be much worse off, etc.. I don't know about you wonderful ladies but I think the upside to this is that we look at life differently now. Let me explain, the search for "right now" has me thinking more like "the right person" for a healthy long term relationship. We must not look at ourselves as if we are dirty, society is clueless on stds, many of them have this one and other ones but are clueless on their status..

And I'm trying not to focus on rejection cause that's not gonna help my self esteem even though I have thought it many times.. We must stay strong, I believe we will meet someone who will accept us for us and look back at this as a true blessing in disguise. Wish you guys lived locally to me, I would say grab those anti-viral meds and lets go to happy hour for some drinks!! :))

[Anna01]

Hahahaha I really like the way you think @Hello81 ! It is comforting to hear a mans perspective. We are all dealing with the same thing here. I would love to join you for happy hour. Maybe someday we can all meet at the OPP Weekend!

[2Legit2Quit]

@justagirl72 noooooo not at all. Didn't take it that way in the least. I was just trying to explain that at the end of the day, it's still herpes and I don't want you to relive devastation again, because it ends up being HSV 2 and that it's not always better. Trust me, I wanted it to be that too and was disappointed it wasn't. Just don't want you to mentally torture yourself even more if it ends up being 2.

[Hello81]

@Anna01 I just looked at this OPP event you mentioned online ha.. I live in Orlando, Florida what about you? I need you guys to come visit me! I'm getting depressed again :/ well... not really but could use the company going through the same thing :)

[justagirl72]

@WCSDancer2010 thanks for the links and info about shaving. Maybe ill just avoid razors down there all together for awhile. Not that I'm letting anyone close to there for awhile anyway. H is a great opportunity way for me to really realize that I don't need sex to feel validated. Silver linings...I'm finding them. I had a swab test done... so those results will tell me specifically what I have down there right?

 

So these meds are great... this is my second full day taking them and I'm not constantly thinking about my jayjay. It almost...ALMOST feels normal. How do I get the meds for future OBs? I'm really putting off seeing my gyno because she is also my moms dr...i know privacy and everything. But still awkward.

 

So I am totally wanting to make a dear diary post about feeling biter. Biter toward myself and biter toward the guy who I'm preeeeetty sure gave it to me. Instead, I would like to say I had an awesome day so far. Went shopping with a friend and bought a new book that I am about to curl up and read. Although I could REALLY use a margarita right now!

 

Half way through the week! Hope everyone is hanging in there!