Feeling amazing!

[Anna01]

So I am about one month in to this unexpected journey. Although I still shed tears here and there, I am feeling extremely empowered. I will share with you exactly why.

 

About two years ago, I met this extremely attractive and charismatic guy. I don't know why but I was drawn like a moth to a flame. Over a several months, he toyed with my emotions. He literally hit it and then quit it but we still talked at times. He was just no good for me. It really broke me down emotionally and was damaging my self esteem. I cherish my self esteem, so I knew I had to let him go. So on more than one occasion, I deleted his number out of my phone (which resulted in me remembering his number! Ugh mission fail)....He was like a roach that wouldn't die. He just kept coming back and I would take whatever nugget he would toss at me. So I moved on finally, got into a relationship, with my *giver*. We broke up and ofcourse my roach was waiting for me. He called like 2 weeks after I was newly single.

 

You would think I learned my lesson...obviously this guy doesn't care about me in the slightest but I starting spending time with him again. I was celibate so he had no chance of getting in these pants. He tried to act like he accepted I didn't want to have sex but ofcourse always would try. He tried and failed :) Luckily this time I am stronger than I used to be, so he didn't tarnish my shining self esteem. I kept him at bay and in the meantime I found out I was H+.

 

Now I am VERY proud to say, I have come to the priceless realization that this guy couldn't care less about me! I have accepted it and I am delivered from this completely pointless relationship. I have ZERO desire to win this loser over. I KNOW if I decided to tell him, he would not accept it. He would not accept me for everything that I am. I know this because he NEVER HAS. Thank you Herpes for letting me see the person I was so desperately trying to avoid seeing. I see the man for who he is and I am ok with it. There is no love in this "relationship". I am done and have no desire to pursue it any further.

I have been delivered!

 

Now I am getting to know a man that is full of depth and extremely interested in ME. He does not know I am H+ but he will know, if things continue the way they are now. IF he doesn't accept it...I am ready for it! Whoever loves me will love all of me. I will not settle for anything less. I truly believe HSV has helped me.

[LittleStar]

Congratulations :) you deserve to feel this way!

[Anna01]

@LittleStar Thank you! We all do. I just wish I could've had this happen without the neccessary kick of H to make things clear.

[Brynn2012]

You've been delivered! Haha, love it. Honestly, I used to do the same thing with one man in particular and it was ridiculous to watch. I'll still reach out every once in a while and it's like...if I can sway him (or them) then my time isn't lost/I win. But knowing I have H changes thing...you prep yourself to tell and flip through motives before you do; a MAJOR filter. I'm so happy for you! I feel like we're very similar! Feel free to direct message me any time!

[WCSDancer2010]

It's amazing how many people I see on here who FINALLY start to get it when it comes to users and abusers ... the ones who are more wanting to get INTO you than into YOU ... once they have their "Herpes Wingman" at their side.

 

Being forced to slow things down and view the other person without the "hormonal fog" that seems to cover our eyes when we get physically involved with someone ... you can kick through that and see that their behavior is self serving and has nothing to do with your ultimate well being (which, if they truly cared for you, would be their #1 priority) nor does it mean that you are "unlovable" or whatever.

 

Sure, none of us would ask to get Herpes in order to have this new perspective, but in the long run, H will become a minor thing and you will still have your Wingman helping you to keep your vision clear when it comes to relationships :)

 

Well done!

[2Legit2Quit]

@anna01 that is so hilarious about the deleting the number, which then resulted in memorizing it, as the exact same thing happened to me w the no good for me guy I last dated. It was so annoying, as I only have like 3 other numbers memorized that have been in my head 7yrs to my childhood. It made me laugh.

 

Glad you're doing so well.

[Anna01]

@Brynn2012 It is mind blowing how much we will cover up someones actions to justify pursuing them! I am so happy that we have eachother on this site. It is amazing the stuff we have in common!

[Anna01]

@WSCDancer2010 You couldn't be more right. It has really opened my mind and made me think in a way I never thought would happen because of Herpes haha it is such an odd yet pleasant surprise. I have NO DOUBT he is interested in getting INTO me and not into ME. Thank you for that wonderful phrase because I think about it and I admit I have used it to encourage people on another site. It is so helpful and true.

[Anna01]

@2Legit2Quit Let me tell you I was so annoyed when I discovered I remembered his number UGH....I mean really, you are so right, I remember like 5 numbers and they all belong to family members haha. So sad but atleast we have come to our realizations that number memorized or not, they are not meant to be part of our memories :)

[2Legit2Quit]

Hahaha! It's ludicrous how easily we memorized a number we didn't even try to!