He's a virgin

[stuckinarut]

So I've been talking to this guy for a little over a month now and I really like him. We hang out a lot and I feel like I have really gotten to know him even in this short amount of time. Things always stay PG of course but I could really see myself with him. He recently 21 and I'm 23 turning 24 next month so there's a bit of an age difference. We were just talking on skype and he reveals that he's actually a virgin. He lied and said he wasn't because "he doesn't want to lose me." And I'm thinking you don't want to lose me little does he know I'm the one that is really worried about losing him. Now conversation feels forced because I'm freaking out I can't tell a virgin that I want to be his first it all just feels so wrong to me now. I have no idea what to say or do next. Any ideas?!???? Please help me desperation is sinking in. ;-(.

[2Legit2Quit]

Well I'd download the pamphlets and the one w statistics on transmission and have those ready for when you have the disclosure talk. I would start off explaining that you really see things going places w him and he means something to you and this is why you want to be honest w him about something. Ask him if hes wver had cold aores or knows anyone who does and if he knows what that is caused by. Then Explain that you're concerned, especially w being possibly his first, because you get those down there too and you'd like to share some information w him. Then go from there.

 

There really is no easy way to disclose. Even those who felt confident someone would accept it, are still riddled w the same fears you have.

[stuckinarut]

I think I was just really overwhelmed in the moment. I had to calm myself down tell him how I felt about him then I told.

[2Legit2Quit]

Ok, so how did your disclosure go?

[WCSDancer2010]

Sooo - how did it go?

 

What is interesting is how you each had something that you felt would make the other run in the other direction.... so you have that in common.... you have both bought into the "stigma" of your perceived "flaw" .... so I hope you will BOTH realize this and use this as a way to open up communication and start learning how to keep things open :)

[stuckinarut]

He actually took it very well he feels so strongly about me and told me he still feels like a lucky man to have me and that he's not going anywhere. He expressed that he will be there for me when I need him. I was so relieved that he said that to me and he was very understanding about the everything I told him. He read the pamphlets and we talked about how it happened and what I've been dealing with. I tried to make sure the conversation didn't get to far on negative side of herpes but I did make it clear. I thought he might have had more questions but he didn't. He really appreciated me telling him before we got intimate and now we are getting even closer.

[Bambina3]

I am very new to this...and have very little comment to make other than the ladies above..,but I did want to stop and send a hug

[2Legit2Quit]

Yaahj! Congrats!

[stuckinarut]

Thanx for the hug Bambina3. And yessssss I was so happy it worked out the way it did.