Dating website for HSV

[FirstTimeFrustrated]

I just joined one of those dating websites for people with STDs etc. has anyone else done one of these and have an opinion? Feels very awkward so far.

[casi1001]

Good morning. I have tried them in the past with poor results to be honest. There are few people on them that I have found but then I live in a very rural area too. I have been on regular dating sites on and off for years but was always worried about disclosing as I have been turned down in the past a number of times. About a month ago I decided I was done hiding and came out on my Farmers Only profile and it was the best thing I ever did. I feel so much freer, I don't have to worry about the dreaded talk and in truth I have had twice as many people contacting me then I did before LOL. I have never gotten a negative comment as of yet and I wouldn't care if I did as I am done hiding about this silly skin condition.

 

In fact I have met a wonderful man who isn't at all bothered by this. Many of the men contacting me tell me right up front it shows character and honesty and they really appreciate it. I know there are a few others on here who have done the same thing with very good results, Dancer being one of them. If you have the guts to do this I tell you the feeling of not having to worry about the "talk" is amazing. It also weeds out the idiots that are only looking for a hook up which is an added bonus LOL.

[WCSDancer2010]

I would say it is ONE route ... and that you need to try multiple routes. Because for one thing only 4% of people who are dating are on those STD sites. Not a lot to choose from .. in 5 yrs of being on and off dating sites I've only been on 2 dates with guys from those sites. I found a lot of men on there were too much into the shame for me to deal with them because I am out and proud ... which likely won't work for them if they don't want their friends to know they have H :p

 

As Casi said, H is a GREAT Wingman ... so try to let it work FOR you in your dating life! :)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/dating-online-my-personal-experience-with-being-out-and-proud/

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5897/my-first-disclosure-story#latest Wingman example

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 )

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6347/my-disclosure-story 2 very different reactions … but both are “successful” in their own ways :)

Herpes as a relationship filter Adrial

 

[jl13]

I had debated joining one. I'm 29 and all my friends are in relationships with their forever person, engaged, or married and having kids. And here I am with H. I've thought joining a site where I didn't have to disclose to the guy would be easy but I still feel awkward. I've done regular dating sites and feel awkward there too haha. Anyways, the point is dating is awkward but it's good you're putting yourself out there. At least the disclosure part will be over. Have you talked to anyone on there? Or just feel awkward in general benign on it?

 

I was diagnosed a year ago (this coming week actually) and still haven't wanted to fully jump back into the dating scene! But maybe soon! Can't be the only single girl in my group of friends for too long! :)

[casi1001]

I have talked to several men on the site I'm one (Farmers Only) and I have found that since coming out I get a lot more "likes" too, go figure. I am still talking to one in particular man whom I like very much but we live in different states but were working on that. Funny thing too, a man I met through that site over the summer before I came out pretty much back peddled after finding out has been calling me again. I'm not interested in him anymore after talking to this other man who could care less about my condition.

 

I have found that since coming out I feel so much more at ease knowing that anyone who contacts me already knows. I also look at my profile now as a way of educating others. I have included all the pertinent info and statistics about herpes and hope that even if someone isn't interested in me maybe they will be a bit more educated about this condition and be more careful in the future or even consider being tested themselves.

 

I look at life this way, you only live once and it's way to short to worry about every tiny thing and that's what this is, a TINY inconvenience. Anyone who either doesn't want to date me or know me because of this ISN"T WORTH KNOWING!!! I think that most people are scared of this "issue" because it may hit to close to home for them and make them wonder "what if".

 

Live your life for YOU, no-one else. If we never step out of our comfort zone we'll never know what we might be missing. Having H does make us have to harden ourselves to a point but it also makes us better people in many ways. Remember "no-one can make you feel inferior without YOUR permision" and I refuse to give anyone that permission :). If you want to see my profile on Farmers only just search "Irefusetohide" on that site.

[FirstTimeFrustrated]

I had debated joining one. I'm 29 and all my friends are in relationships with their forever person, engaged, or married and having kids. And here I am with H. I've thought joining a site where I didn't have to disclose to the guy would be easy but I still feel awkward. I've done regular dating sites and feel awkward there too haha. Anyways, the point is dating is awkward but it's good you're putting yourself out there. At least the disclosure part will be over. Have you talked to anyone on there? Or just feel awkward in general benign on it?

 

I was diagnosed a year ago (this coming week actually) and still haven't wanted to fully jump back into the dating scene! But maybe soon! Can't be the only single girl in my group of friends for too long! :)

 

It is awkward! But I think it's awkward because I feel like a cyber creep rather than H related. Just hard to intrigue someone by a typed word. I have met a couple people and they are pretty awesome, but there are others out there just hunting for a quick one. Guess that's to be expected though.

 

 

[2Legit2Quit]

I was in one for a couple of months and met one guy I'd taken seriously, but it didn't work out. There's more females in there than men and the guys I chatted w, had some good results, but some not. As Dancer said, there's just not a lot on there and ones who at least will show their profile. At one point I had my profile open and then I saw a casual friend on there and he's in the group of people I hang w, so I hid my profile after that. Knowing him though, he'd probably tried to hook up w me, knowing I had it too. It seemed all the people w it, were in cities much further away.. Worth a shot, while giving POF a shot as well at the same time.

[FirstTimeFrustrated]

I agree with 2legits last sentence. That's what I'm doing. At the very least I'll meet an opposite gender friend nearby going through the same thing. You can definetly tell most people are on guard on that website though. From the people I've talked to they were surprised I didn't send them a pic of my manhood or didn't have a profile pic where I was shirtless and covered in baby oil

[2Legit2Quit]

Lol... Yes, lots of the guys in there are looking for casual hookups

[WCSDancer2010]

@casi1001

 

Gotta love a person who owns H and isn't letting it stop them! I've been out on my profiles and had the same result, and I also see my profile as educational ...

 

Nowadays the thing that scares men off is when they realize I'm an advocate and that all their friends may know they are dating a H+ woman ... last one fell in that category. Oh well, don't let the door hit you on the way out dude ... you don't want to support me in doing something that improves the lives of others, then I certainly don't want you in my life! SMH ...