Disclosed last night threw a text...got no response...

[Sayyywhatt]

I've been talking to someone and feelings between the both of us have bloomed and feelings are strong....we had a great day yesterday had a breakfast date before ihad work he is a true gentleman and I'm so in my head right now icoildnt sleep last night and ijust feel so shitty I'm listening to my music crying on my back porch right now....I really like him and tried him what happened and that I've given it to two people one on accident and one knew iwas in an OB and he still wanted to sleep with me and was my be at the time. I'm so afraid of his answer he's become friends with all my friends I'm just really emotional and iknow if he doesn't want to continue then iknoe he isn't worth it and it wasn't meant to be but Jesus I'm really not ok emotionally I've disclosed to so many people and never had the fear be this bad before

[NothingGoodGetsAway]

Hugs, lady. I'm sorry he's gone silent for a while - it sounds like you gave him a lot to process, so maybe he is taking his time to go through everything. I'm sorry he didn't respond, but maybe he's giving this serous thought. It is not guaranteed to be a bad outcome, but if it is, you're right it wasn't meant to be!

[2Legit2Quit]

Guys need time to process emotions more than women do, so just relax and take a deep breath. Next time, just disclose the H status and hold off on that other part about infecting others, since just disclosing is a lot to take in. Also, if you haven't already, get on antivirals and use that in your disclosure, how you are cutting down their transmission rate.

[Anna01]

Ok so here is my advice on the matter. Relax and try to just let him do his thing. That is a lot to tell someone via text. When you decided to send it through text, you basically set it up for him to take his time to respond. He has to really think about it and that is ok. It just sucks when someone doesn't at least say "I need time to think". Sometimes men aren't as thoughtful in that way. They don't realize the mental aerobics we go through during times like this! Haha so try to relax. Don't let it consume you. Move on and see what happens. If it doesn't work out it is totally ok. I agree with @2legit2quit on the disclose in doses kind of approach. I wouldn't mention your experience with transmitting it right away. Also, in the future, I would consider disclosure over the phone or in person. There is something special about hearing someones voice when they confide in you. You can sense their humanity. A text seems pretty detached. That is just my opinion on it. Stay strong girlie. What is meant to be will be.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Sayyywhatt

 

This is exactly why I tell people to not disclose in a text.... because you now have NO idea how he took it..... if you tell the person face to face, they can see how you are struggling in your vulnerability and if they care for you, they will want to reassure you that they won't jump to conclusions until they are at least educated. By text, well, it seems very detached and makes it easy to detach themselves.

 

Also, I agree, in future, don't talk about the guys you infected. Odds are the accident was due to your ignorance a the time and the other guy put himself in a place where it was likely he would catch it. Now, if he ASKED you if you passed it on, then you tell the truth but let him know you now have anti-virals and can use condoms and protect him that way... and that 80% of carriers don't know they have it, etc. But just dumping it on him that you have it AND you have passed it on to 2 others, well, that's a LOT to tell someone, especially in a text where they can't see how upset you are...

 

This may end up being a "learning experience" for you.... for now, I might send a text and ask if he has any questions and be ready to send him the handouts and video link from here and the one I'm putting below from Project Accept (it's a GREAT reality check) ... in fact, I'd send them anyway. At this point it can't hurt and you want him to get GOOD information.... because there's a lot of crap out there 🙂

 

After that, it's in his hands... and next time, tell him in person, ok???

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

 

http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/

 

Herpes facts video

 

[Sayyywhatt]

He finally talked to me like a month and a half almost 2 months later and apologized for not talking to me and that he got freaked out and it wasn't fair to me for him to do that it's not a big deal anymore iactually found our one of my friends have it an slows who my giver was too and for it from his best friend....so im ok now thank you for the love you guys

[2Legit2Quit]

Sorry you were treated that way, glad things are better though.