The Unfairness of It All!

[WCSDancer2010]

@hippyherpy

 

Thank you for clarifying that. As I have said to you, YOU have been fortunate in many ways with H. You say yourself you should have had it sooner. And it sounds like your symptoms have been relatively mild in comparison to some. So right there, YOUR experience has been less traumatic. Add to that that you seem to be the kind of person who just "get's over" things and it may be hard for you to relate to someone who is struggling.

 

The thing is, there is no "right" way to move through the "grief period" that comes with diagnosis for many. I totally get your point about life being too short to let this get to us, but you don't know the other person's history and THAT (along with the severity of their OB's) plays a HUGE part in how they respond to their diagnosis.

 

What we ask here is that any time you may be thinking someone "should" be a certain way, that you be very careful of how you respond to them.... when we are "shoulding" on someone, odds are we are putting our judgments and attachments on them. I OFTEN walk away from the computer when I am frustrated with how someone is being on here (as well as FB...LOL... especially in the current political climate!). I won't reply unless and until I know I am in a reasonably judgement-free state of mind.

 

Now, as a Moderator, sometimes I will say something that I know will ruffle a person's feathers, but only to try to get them to think in a different way if i see them CONTINUALLY be stuck in some way. But I really consider how I will approach them so that I can get the desired result rather than alienating them. As a Mod, that is my job and we ask that you let us be the ones to dispense the "Tough Love" as and when needed.

 

Perhaps EVERYONE should re-read this (I hope you read it when you first came on here) so you understand where we are coming from ....

 

Peace out folks - it's 3:30am - this chick needs to get in bed

 

https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/7044/this-place-is-a-judgment-free-zone

[Benderdundat]

It is unfair..and "Life is unfair" ain't no help. :-) You caught it, then got screwed over by your best friend of 8 years. There's no way to paint a happy picture there. I'm sorry for your pain, physical and emotional. I caught herpes holding hands with a 3 year old kid who had draining cold sores, back in 1987 when nobody knew how "catching" cold sores were. I was lucky my husband believed me and wanted to stay with me. Hugs.

 

[2Legit2Quit]

@Benderdundat are you saying that you got genital herpes from holding hands w a kid, that had cold sores on their mouth?

[WCSDancer2010]

I caught herpes holding hands with a 3 year old kid who had draining cold sores, back in 1987 when nobody knew how "catching" cold sores were. I was lucky my husband believed me and wanted to stay with me. Hugs.

 

If you are talking about GENITAL herpes, there no way in hell that you got it from a kid who had oral HSV1. If you kissed him then you might have got ORAL HSV1. But the only way you get genital HSV is direct, skin to skin contact in the affected area.

 

Now, if you are talking about Oral HSV1, 60% of all young people have it by the time they are young adults. I got it at age 4.... in which case you may have been in the 80% who had it and didn't know until diagnosis.

 

So how were you diagnosed and which one do you have?

 

 

[Bambina3]

I also talked with someone recently who claims she "thinks" she was swabbed while she was in college for a lesion on her neck..that came back hsv2 positive.

Not so sure I believe that....

But...how would you get genital herpes from holding hands from a child?

I think im confused here....

[WCSDancer2010]

Well, yes, it would be pretty hard to get hsv2 on the neck - BUT, she could well have HSV1 there from someone who had an oral OB and who then gave her a hicky ... wrestlers get HSV1 on their bodies sometimes (called Herpes Gladiatorum) because they wrestle someone who has an OB on their mouth and in wrestling they often have any part of their body "grinding" against the skin of the other person, including faces/lips. And in High School, the guys just sit around between bouts, so the virus has plenty of time to enter through whatever minor wound it can find (ie, beard rashes, nail scratches, etc)

 

But holding hands - nope. No way that she got it that way....