I had sex with a guy and did not disclose

[Furiosa214]

Hello everyone, I am very new to this website.

 

I am feeling so bad, i had sex with a guy and I did not disclose. I have been diagnosed with hsv2 .

At times. I feel like my casual sex will be over. I mean, causal sex to me is when you dont see any potential with a guy for a relationship and just have sex. Is there really a point to even have casual sex? Because you would have to tell them.

 

I feel disgusted in myself that i didn't disclose to this person and it was unprotected.

I have not been taking any meds and have not had an outbreak yet.

 

I need help on how to control my sex drive. Its killing me and i dont want to put another person at risk.

I have heard that a safe way to have sex is in the shower when one has a std.

I did have sex with a guy and we used a condom. I did disclose to this person and had sex in the shower and than went to the bed Nd continued

 

What are the chances i gave it to these two guys??

[2Legit2Quit]

@hippyherpy can attest to the fact, that casual sex can continue w having HSV 2 and disclosing to those casual hookup before sex.

 

Now for some tough love. What you did was wrong. You took soneines choice away, like your choice was taken away.

 

There's no studies that sex in the shower lowers the risk, so one should not make that assumption.

 

There's no telling at this point. It's about a 2-4% risk, but it still happens. We have a girl on here who used both condoms and daily meds, who passed it to her bf. People on herpes dating sites are pretty open to casual sex, so I suggest trying that out if you feel you cannot control your sexual urges, but remember, sex is a choice.. Not a need.

[Furiosa214]

Thank you for answering all my questions.

And i need to think like that. Its a choice!

I cannot do this again! I feel like i have sinned and killed someone

 

I will never do this again. I feel as if I shouldn't have casual sex because those ppl are ppl that i may not have a potential relationship with. I would only want to have sex with someone I wld see something actually good come out of it and be in a relationship

 

It's definitely a work in progress and its hard.

 

If i do have casual sex, i want to disclose but the rejection is so high on that!!! Because its sex with a casual person!

 

[2Legit2Quit]

@hippyherpy will disagree w you. He's slept w many women since having H and disclosing and he's also slept w women prior to getting H casually who disclosed.

 

You haven't killed anyone, but yes you did put them at risk of having to deal w a stigma that obviously is so upsetting to you as well. In regards to having casual sex, if you give soneone the choice and they make the decision to continue, then that is their decision. Sure it won't feel good if you passed it, but they at least had the choice in it. I highly recommend you get on antivirals for daily therapy, as combining that w condoms lowers your risk to 1% and you can use that in favor of your disclosure.

[Furiosa214]

Okay. I will talk to my health care provider about that. There

Are times that i am still in denial

I just got diagnosed this October.

 

I told her i wanted to get tested again in three months which will be in Jan. And during that time, i will ask if i should get on pills (medicine)

 

It is always good to get tested twice and if it positive again, ima just say fuck it.

 

I am in denial and feel like this is not happening to me. I dnt know if its normal but i am sure ppl have felt this way.

 

I just wish i can see and go to the laboratory and see the antibodies myself in my blood and etc.

i want to see and believe

Not just by words of a doc

[2Legit2Quit]

How were you diagnosed, by blood or by swab? Have you ever had an OB?

[Furiosa214]

No never had an ob and blood

Negative for hsv1

Will get tested for those two again this jan

[Furiosa214]

Is it possible to see the results in a lab?? Where is the lab stuff taking at??

In the same clinic i went to or they send the stuff to another place??

[2Legit2Quit]

How, so do you have the details of your test results, like type if test and values? Some places have a patient portal that you an log into and look. If not, call the office tomorrow and tell them you want the details around the type of tests given and what the values were. If you've never had symptoms EVER and are below 3/5, you could have a false positive.

[Furiosa214]

 

Its igg and whats 3/5

What does this mean?

I will call tomorrow and what do you mean by values

What can i ask when i call tomorrow

[2Legit2Quit]

I mean what was your IgG value? Was it over 3.5? Values meaning the number. .90 is a positive result, anything over that is positive and the higher it is, the mode indicative the longer you had it. If you're asymptomatic and under 3.5, we recommend taking the western blot, because it can be a false positive.

[Furiosa214]

I did not know such thing

Okay so 3/5 is .60 so below tht is negative most likely

Or does it have to be below .90 that makes it negative?

And anything higher than that is positive and its more likely that it is positive?

[2Legit2Quit]

No.... .90 and above is positive. I just want to find out what your value was. If it's under 3.5, then I'd request a western blot.

[Furiosa214]

Is western blot another type of test? Like blood test?

What is the highest number to get?

I think i got infected with some guy in September

So i dnt think it will be higher than 3.5

U did say the longer ive had it, its more than 3.5

If i do have it, it will be more than .90 for sure

 

Or am I wrong?

 

What if im .96 for example

That's already less than 3.5 and it will be considered positive

????

[Furiosa214]

erpes Ab Type 1, IgG:

<0.90 Negative

0.90-1.10 Equivocal

>1.10 Positive

 

Herpes Ab Type 2, IgG:

<0.90 Negative

0.90-1.10 Equivocal

>1.10 Positive

 

[Furiosa214]

What i saw online

 

[Furiosa214]

Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 and/or 2 Antibodies, IgG

 

0.89 IV or less: Negative - No significant level of detectable HSV IgG antibody.

 

0.90-1.09 IV: Equivocal - Questionable presence of IgG antibodies. Repeat testing in 10-14 days may be helpful.

1.10 IV or greater: Positive - IgG antibody to HSV detected which may indicate a current or past HSV infection.

[Furiosa214]

Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 and/or 2 Antibodies, IgG

 

0.89 IV or less: Negative - No significant level of detectable HSV IgG antibody.

0.90-1.09 IV: Equivocal - Questionable presence of IgG antibodies. Repeat testing in 10-14 days may be helpful.

1.10 IV or greater: Positive - IgG antibody to HSV detected which may indicate a current or past HSV infection.

[2Legit2Quit]

Well, it needs to be 4 months minimum after infection. I'd try again at 6 months after exposure and see what your values are

 

-.90 is positive

- we mention 3.5 only for those who are asymptomatic, because then there is risk of a false positive being a higher than usual.

- western blot is the golden standard and has a lower risk of false positives, than the IgG. We recommend it to those w hard to diagnose symptoms and never had a true in or those who have never had any symptoms, but cane up positive in blood. Yes, it is a blood test.

 

Yes I'm aware of those testing standard values.

[Furiosa214]

Is it worth testing again in January

Since i was already positive when i was told in October (so they said)

If so, than i must of had it before September.(like being exposed to it)

[Furiosa214]

Okay so I called and there are in the process of making a patient portal log in for students

They said next semester (spring semester)

I asked about my igg values for my stds and they said they dont do that? Or watever

It only shows up positive or negative

And mine showed only positive for hsv2

 

I asked " so you cant give me my igg values for hsv1 and hsv2 and they said no.

 

I asked if they do a western blot test and the said no

 

I did ask to send me my records for positive and negative results of my tests they done

They will send it to my email

 

But thats all they will send

No values smh

This was done at my school clinic

 

 

 

 

 

[Furiosa214]

So here is something weird

Im looking at the results and theres three columns

Results , abnormal, and reference range

Everything is negtive on the results column and reference column for all stds except the hsv2 of course

 

On the results column it says positive and abnormal column theres nothing (nothing on tht column for the other ones as well) and on the reference range it says negative

 

Im thinking about calling that lab place and see if they can explain that to me

??

 

[Furiosa214]

Im thinking i was under .90 but was positive on results

 

[2Legit2Quit]

The fact that they have no values, makes me suspicious of the test.

 

If you were infected possibly in September and took a blood test in October, there's no way it came back positive. Takes 3-4 months for antibodies to build up.

 

Ask them if it was a combined test, because if it was, if you have HSV 1 or have ever had any herpes virus, which most of us have had such as chicken pox it will cross react and give a false hsv 2 positive.

 

I recommend going to planned parenthood and asking for an IgG type specific Elisa test. Since you've never had symptoms, they may deny it to you, so just lie and say you couldn't make it in there in time, before you symptoms healed.

 

I would call the lab tok and ask what kind of test. Ask if it was an IgG type specific Elisa test and they should have the values, if the correct test is administered.

[Furiosa214]

But i made an assumption of gettin infected in September

Who knows who gave this to me and when (if i d0 have it)

They did a separate one for hsv 1 and hsv2

I was negative for hsv 1 on the results column and reference range