H Manipulation???

[JJJ2015]

Hi all! I posted here a while back when I was first diagnosed. I haven't been posting lately bc I'm not dating and I'm also not having any OBs. Here recently, I reconnected with an old flame. We were very close then so I felt he was a good "test subject"to disclose to. This was my first real one. We were getting hot and heavy and I stopped him and told him. He really didn't seem to care at all (Yay!). BUT after I told him, he jokingly said "that's ok that just means if you give it to me, you have to marry me". While I'm certain he meant it light heartedly, it made me very uncomfortable. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm now worried about getting into a long term relationship, if i end up transmitting it, someone giving me the guilt trip into staying even if I'm not happy?

This never even crossed my mind as one of my worries after being initially diagnosed!! Any insight?

[2Legit2Quit]

I think he's just joking w you and trying to make light of the situation. My first disclosure was to an old flame as well and he accepted it. W that said, I couldn't risk passing it to him, because I couldn't see him as long term and I'm someone who is always active, even on meds. For me knowing that w my symptoms, I just didn't feel comfortable risking it. I did ask if he would resent me if I gave it to him and he said no, he knew the risks and was OK w it and can't blame me. I would ask him how he would feel about it and see what he says and go from there.

[Bambina3]

I would bet he was just joking

Sounds like he took it well

Try to keep smiling!!

[WCSDancer2010]

Sounds like a joke... that triggered an insecurity in you.

 

Never, EVER stay with anyone because you feel "obligated". This has nothing to do with Herpes. It could happen in many situations:

 

Think of it this way...

 

**I assume you drive a car

**and I assume if that is correct, you may occasionally drive your lover/BF somewhere

**And you BOTH know there is ALWAYS a risk of a car accident no matter how careful you are

**But you drive him anyway, right? Do you obsess day and night that you might injure/kill him every time he gets in your car? I doubt it.

**Why is the possibility of passing on H any different? At least it won't kill him!!!

**If you DID "have an accident" and he was "injured" would you feel obligated to stay with him if things were not working out?

 

Think on it :)

 

[JJJ2015]

Thanks everyone!! It probably did trigger something for me as my ex husband was EXTREMELY manipulative and mentally abusive. So maybe it was just me being a little too sensitive to that stuff! He has been a little pushy so I'm taking it slow and seeing how he acts.

Thanks!!