Feeling like my life is over

[BrokenPieces]

Hi there! I just found out I have herpes last week and have since been super depressed. My stress level has been out of this roof already concerning other issues in my life and now this is just one other thing. Honestly I can’t even tell anyone because I feel disgusting and I’m not completely sure where I even got it from. I’m just kind of stumped now. I feel like now my sex life/love life is completely over since I know the right thing is to tell partners you have herpes and it hurts me even thinking of that talk. lol I know I sound pathetic but this is constantly on my mind all day and night. I just don’t know where to go from here.

[Lifegoesonn]

How did u find out , trust me I felt the same months ago I couldn't believe I was going through a full on outbreak out of the blue months possibly years after I caught it

[IcanOvercome]

Hey there!

I am new to this also so I may not have a whole lot of experience and advice. But I can say that with work, you can definitely change your thinking & get through this!

I found out exactly a week ago tomorrow. I am 26 & single so I definitely understand feeling like my love life is ruined or I'll be undesirable. It's okay to feel sad, scared, angry but it's not okay to stay there.

I cried and was upset day one. Day 2 I started researching and found support groups. I read their stories, I asked questions. Slowly but surely I began to realize that this is just another time in my life where I may think I can't make it through, but I will, and I will look back and think "wow it wasn't that bad" or "look at how strong I am".

We have all faced something we thought would break us & it didn't. Just know that you are not herpes and your diagnosis does not define you!

Think of all of the things that you are! Think positive. How will you grow from this? You are still loveable!

 

I know it's easier said than done! I still have moments when I get frustrated or I start thinking "what if I get rejected" but I quickly try to refocus my energy onto something else.

 

I'm not sure what kind you have or what symptoms you're struggling with, but I can let you know why I've been doing for mine. My Outbreak is Genital. I have been taking the antiviral acyclovir, along with L-lysine, zinc, vitamin C and Vitamin B complex. I soak in a warm bath often. Drink lots of water! I've been having to take a Benadryl to help me sleep, and I wear loose clothing.

 

I'm here if you need to talk. I have only told my best friend and having her & the support of the people here online has helped tremendously. You are not alone!

[9_Lives]

Benadryl to sleep? I have trouble going to sleep.. then it's not it flops... and some times its hard for me to wake up. Some days I feel depressed or irritable...more than normal & others I'm fine. Idk if it's because I'm in in the gym like I had or not.. to allow my legs to bulk.. I also take acyclovir.. im 29 just found out July I had hsv2. All of this off sleep / modd swings are new maybe a month long.

[wendy7]

Hey! Also new to this, found out about a month ago!

 

You are going to go through so many emotions, and I think you should just feel them, but not let them get you down. I feel like you might not think this but it has already gotten better for me, but I've been lucky.

 

I still struggle ver much with having this, but as time goes by, I think you'll just feel less anxious. I have felt more like myself in the past weeks. For now, since it's clearly giving you anxiety, I would refrain from thinking about telling potential lovers, unless you are absolutely in a situation where you have to disclose. I think that is just something you have to work up to. Granted, I have yet to disclose to anyone I potentially wanted to sleep with, but there's a reason for it. Different techniques work for different people but at the end of the day, you are still going to be the shit with h or not!! Don't let your self-worth go down the drain because of this it really ain't no thang in the long run!

[fonda]

I love that we are in the age of the internet and we can confide with each other about this. I got genital H last August and am still struggling to stay positive. My parents keep bugging me about marrying and giving them grandchildren and it makes me so sad everyday that I may never be able to do that because of my disease. Thank you guys for the words of encouragement.

[RegularGuy]

I have to agree that if it weren't for this site, I would feel really ashamed and alone.

Being able to talk to members here has really been a big factor in how I feel about myself and my future.

 

Try to focus on the goals you already have, and remember that herpes can't stop you from achieving them. As far as relationships, many of us here have enjoyed both causal and serious relationships after being diagnosed. Herpes really can't stop you from being who you are, and doing the things that make you feel successful, accomplished, and valuable!

I would recommend that you focus on doing the things that give you a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. For me personally, I kept striving in college and work, and enjoyed success in both, despite feeling really depressed at the same time. Once I got to look back on those small increments of success, I began to feel like I hadn't really changed at all.

I also made a plan to go to a concert I had convinced myself to skip just prior to my diagnosis. Having a fun event planned gave me something exciting to look forward to, and helped to lessen my feelings of shame and defeat.

 

Don't worry, because things will get easier. And you will continue to be just as good at chasing down goals as you always have been!