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My triple whamy

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Hello..I am 30 yrs old..single female..I had my first outbreak 2 yrs ago..I don't know who I got it from..but the doctor said it's from my bf at that time..I found out I had H2 the same day I found out I was pregnant..I was feeling the burning and itching down there for a couple of days but dismissed it as "after the deed soreness". I was so scared because I know that the virus stays in the body. My doctor didn't explain what it was and what I needed to do. She just prescribed medicines that I need to take and told me to be tested with HIV. I was with a girl friend that time and she noticed that there was something wrong when I came out of the doctor's office. I told her and she said that it's not a bad thing , that there are medicines (good thing she was with me because I was a mess that day. I changed doctors too..I found one who educated me). Anyway, I thought that it can't get any worse..when I told my bf that I was pregnant, he refused to acknowledge the baby..so I decided not to tell him that I have H..after finding out that I was pregnant, he left me and our baby. I was devastated. But it didn't stop there, I lost my baby a few weeks after..the doctor said there's a big chance it was because of H. I was shattered. I felt that it was because of me..that it was my fault that my baby died. I thought that my life was over. My mom knows that I have H. She is very supportive too. I became a scared person..I think I became a hypochondriac..I get scared (a lot) everytime I feel something down there. Maybe because of the things I read from the internet which are so scary..and puts people with H in a box. I guess that is the reason I looked for something like this. My mom is great in assuring me that I am not a lesser person. However, I feel it will be nice to talk to people who share the same experience as I have. There are a lot of questions in my mind and I cannot wait to ask you guys. :)

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Welcome dilemmagirl. I am so sorry to hear all you have been through but so glad to hear you found a good doctor and also that you reached out here. Obviously you are willing to do what it takes for self-care which is fabulous. Ask as many questions as you like. We are all here to love and support you. I know from my own experience, it is awesome to have people to share your journey with who understand what you are dealing with and who can support you.





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Thank you for the hugs..I really need that :) People ask me why am I not dating..I just.smile and say I haven't found one who is worth dating..I am still scared to let my guard down..I tell myself that it doesn't make me less lovable..but it is still scary to fall in love with someone who might not be strong enough to understand and accept what happened to me..

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  • 3 months later...

First, I am not a doctor but I think your doctor was wrong to tell you the Herpes caused the miscarriage. I can't find anything anywhere that would support that opinion. I for one had TWO healthy pregnancies with Herpes. I know others who have as well.


About 15% of recognized pregnancies will end in a miscarriage. You may have just been unlucky and become part of that statistic. Miscarriages usually occur because the fetus is not viable...there is something wrong that is out of your control. And that is what you have to understand ... it was not under your control/caused by something you did!


Don't beat yourself up over it ... sounds like this was a blessing in disguise ... that guy was not a MAN ... and certainly not one you would want in your life as a father and life partner. Keep the faith that someone who will fully love and support YOU will come along when you are ready. (((HUGS)))

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I had a c-section with the first because the Dr scared me into it ... afterwards I learned I didn't need it. I had a V-Bac (vaginal birth after Cesarean) for my second birth...I was living in the UK then and had to fight to change doctors but in the end, the second Dr basically told me that I should have been allowed to deliver normally with my first pregnancy.


The protocol as I understand it now is to put you on anti-virals for the last month before you deliver - that should keep you from having an outbreak when you are delivering.


I had my c-section 26 years ago. Technology is better now. While I would always say try for a normal delivery, if anything came up and you really DO need to have one for the safety of the baby, you just do what you have to do and get through it. It's not a load of fun but having the baby helps you to forget the discomfort pretty quickly :)


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