For the men: how much of an obstacle has this been?

[justfine]

I know it's a wildly broad question, but I'm genuinely interested in seeing responses, especially how common it is for men to be able to look back and see this a minor footnote.

I ask because my physical symptoms are very manageable, but the mental torment is very, very difficult to contend with. Not even half a year in.

Many thanks and best wishes to all.

[IronHalo]

I believe the biggest obstacle is in your mind.

[benzgtx]

It all depends on your symptoms. You'll find more reassurance whether on this forum or somewhere else but really everything is dependent on how symptomatic you will be. If you have no symptoms then you'll have more confidence and it will show that this is no issue for you whether for potential partners or for your own sanity and you'll be able to move past it fairly quickly. The contrary is true also.

Rejection is sad but completely understandable and part of our potential reality. True love will surpass this definitely but there will always be a risk for transmission that should be addressed with open discussion. 

 

Best of luck 

[Downfall]

The worst experience in my life totally devastating fiscally and mentally am suffering for almost 5 months now bad HSV strain messed me up let alone declosing to a potential future partner isn’t acceptable to me I don’t want to put her in this situation if only there is zero chance to transmit it then it would be easier but no medicine works 

[Ishmael]

8 hours ago, Downfall said:

The worst experience in my life totally devastating fiscally and mentally am suffering for almost 5 months now bad HSV strain messed me up let alone declosing to a potential future partner isn’t acceptable to me I don’t want to put her in this situation if only there is zero chance to transmit it then it would be easier but no medicine works 

You're still kind of new, like a year in or so, right? I think you'll find it gets better, but one thing you might want to seriously consider is therapy. It might really help with the mental aspects. 

[Downfall]

8 hours ago, Ishmael said:

You're still kind of new, like a year in or so, right? I think you'll find it gets better, but one thing you might want to seriously consider is therapy. It might really help with the mental aspects. 

I believe I contracted it in April at least I know who gave it to me,first OB around early August till today I changed my diet no gluten no garginin therapy am not sure about that i better wait and see so fat i get few blisters from waist down but on penis there are always peeling cracking blisters itching i always say something isn’t right i know my body I don’t get sick for this long just want to not feel my lower body anymore because this is destructing me and I don’t want to suffer from this for 2 years till i get back to normal,always have a sensitive skin used to suffer from acne my whole life now herpes wow this turned me to a different person when i accidentally meet an old friend they tell me you look like shit what’s up (^-^)

[Ishmael]

22 minutes ago, Downfall said:

I believe I contracted it in April at least I know who gave it to me,first OB around early August till today I changed my diet no gluten no garginin therapy am not sure about that i better wait and see so fat i get few blisters from waist down but on penis there are always peeling cracking blisters itching i always say something isn’t right i know my body I don’t get sick for this long just want to not feel my lower body anymore because this is destructing me and I don’t want to suffer from this for 2 years till i get back to normal,always have a sensitive skin used to suffer from acne my whole life now herpes wow this turned me to a different person when i accidentally meet an old friend they tell me you look like shit what’s up (^-^)

Right. So I really think you should consider talking to a therapist if this is affecting your mental health, which it seems like it is. 

[Amando]

I seem quite rare compared to other people on here, when I contracted this 8 years a go, I didn't see it as to big a deal,
I honestly didn't (maybe I'm too layed back about things ).

It only really became a problem for me last year with a rejection I went through.

I'm fortunate that my OB's were not to bad at the start, I would get about 3 a year but they were fairly mild.
Now I'm only getting one a year at most.

I have never followed any special diets or routines & kind of believe that if your more relaxed about it, its better for you.
Although I get that that's its easier said than done for a lot of people.

Other than the emotional side I guess a big factor in having HSV is how it affects each individual.
For example if your OB's last a long time & regularly occur, its going to affect you a damn site more than if you have one a year.

As others have stated that you are not that long in & it will get easier mentally after more time.
I think Ishmael is right that you could really benefit from some therapy.

Good luck & keep your chin up mate 👍

 

 

 

[Ms. Congeniality]

I’m going to start by saying I’m a female who transmitted to my boyfriend. When we became exclusive, I went to get checked for STDs. Everything came up fine (which everyone knows it’s hard for clinics to show HSV+ if you’re not having an OB) but a few months into the relationship I got diagnosed. My bf was extremely supportive and loving. He (a few months later) had an OB. We aren’t sure who had it first. But we’re still together and manage it together and are each other’s support system. It’s tough at times, but we manage. I’m on suppressive therapy. He is not.

His biggest complaint is the fatigue and the leg pain. Which was my biggest complaint. Either he’s tougher than I am or just doesn’t show it, but his leg pain seems to be more of a nuisance. Mine was brutal. He was massage my leg and buttocks and I remember there was one night I just cried because of how rough it was. I try to suggest suppression therapy, vitamins etc. but he’s a tad stubborn 😑 I feel like the mentality, knowing it’ll pass helps him a lot through the OBs.