Anyone with a Partner who is HSV Negative?

[Sdrose]

I'm wondering how many of us out there have partners who are not infected, but you are. How long have you been sexually active with each other and what do you do to reduce the possibility of transmission to uninfected? 

[justagirl72]

Yes! I was with an H- partner for 3 years. I take daily suppressive meds and we used condoms. We did not have sex if I felt that anything was slightly off down there. Often if I had an outbreak I would be very hesitant to engaged in intercourse for a long time after it had cleared. That was often my own paranoia. He was never overly concerned. Personally, I feel that oral sex was a risk to him so I never let him go down on me either. 

[Sdrose]

 

Yes! I was with an H- partner for 3 years. I take daily suppressive meds and we used condoms. We did not have sex if I felt that anything was slightly off down there. Often if I had an outbreak I would be very hesitant to engaged in intercourse for a long time after it had cleared. That was often my own paranoia. He was never overly concerned. Personally, I feel that oral sex was a risk to him so I never let him go down on me either. 

Thank you for your response. I'm on daily suppressive meds also. I read that the female to male transmission rates based on having sex once per week if you're on suppressive meds is 1-2% per year. Is that correct? Is this what you've learned as well?

[justagirl72]

 

Thank you for your response. I'm on daily suppressive meds also. I read that the female to male transmission rates based on having sex once per week if you're on suppressive meds is 1-2% per year. Is that correct? Is this what you've learned as well?

Yes! That is my understanding as well. 4% with nothing. Suppressive cut that in half and then condoms make it like less than 1%-i believe. 

[Sdrose]

That's good to hear, I hope I never give H to anyone ever. Would break my heart. Did you have H before meeting your boyfriend? If yes, how did you tell him? I still haven't had that conversation yet with anyone, terrified about having to do so eventually.

[justagirl72]

Yep, I did! I had gotten it about 6 months prior to meeting him. He was the first person I told that I was planning on being in a new intimate relationship with. 

I honestly just came right out and was very up front. It kind of helped because he was familiar with what a scum bag my giver was so he was very understanding. It barely phased him. I think his response was something like...well that sucks but I really like you so we'll figure it out. 

After 3 years with him I'm back on the scene. I met a great guy and I'm dreading having to have this conversation. Ugh. I'm so scared he will reject me. It has only been a couple weeks but I dont think I can avoid the conversation much longer. 

It's very nerve wracking but the right person will understand that H does not define who you are!

[lali]

@justagirl72 im just curious. You said you were in a relationship with a guy for 3 years and would abstain from sex if you felt anything down there. Has it had happen that he would touch your underwear while they were wet during those times? I'm just overly worrying and want to know what people do if they aren't sure the virus is shedding. Not sure if i put him at risk. You know just touching a bit before i could push his hand away. 

[Sdrose]

@justagirl72 No I don't think that that would cause transmission. From what I have read it's only skin to skin contact that can transmit the virus.

[lali]

 

@justagirl72 No I don't think that that would cause transmission. From what I have read it's only skin to skin contact that can transmit the virus.

In theory yes but if the vaginal fluid comes in contact with the infected skin the virus will be in the fluid. The fluid that went through the underwear for sure passed by the shedding skin. Which is why im worried because without thinking i touched his face near his eyes couple of seconds after blocking him and touching my underwear where it was wet, where i get my usual ob's. Just trying to figure out if anybody in a discordant relationship have been in that position before. 

 

I'm not sure if i should be worrying 

[lali]

https://www.everydayhealth.com/genital-herpes/guide/

 

Proof. 

[100918]

My partner is HSV negative. We've been together for about 2 months. I have never had an outbreak and am not on suppressive therapy. I disclosed to him prior to ever having sex of any sort and he made it abundantly clear that herpes is nothing as far as he is concerned. He wants to be with me, herpes or not. We also have not been good about using condoms. I just had a hysterectomy, so once we are cleared for sex, we don't plan to use them at all moving forward. 

That said, if I ever do have an outbreak, we will abstain, but I have no intention of going on antivirals since I've never had an outbreak. 

 

[Goodmangoes]

Me. I’ve only had it for a few months now.  I have it and my bf doesn’t. I just keep him aware of my outbreaks and he’s pretty ok with that. And we just wait a week and a half until sex. 

[Sdrose]

@GoodmangoesHow long did it take for your first outbreak? I'm curious since your bf is negative. 

[Goodmangoes]

well idk how long Ive been carrying the virus since they say you can carry it and not have a outbreak. or who I got it from we had sex for the first time I shaved and maybe a few days later I had the lesions bumps and the rest.