misskellyrenee

The thing is, my immune system is NOT great. At the time I was taking stressful classes, was having issues at home and work, money problems, etc. I even had another time when I broke out into 80 small stress rashes over being stressed. If I had it then, it more than likely would have appeared. Without meds now, if I even do so much as cut myself shaving I breakout or if I am even mildly stressed around midterms it comes out.

At least tell your most recent partner. The way I went about it, is I went as far back as the last partner I had a lot of long term sex with. My reasoning was that if I had it before then, I would have more than likely passed it along to him since we had sex 3 times a week or so for 7 months. Plus, with me being stressed out all the time, I would have passed it to that guy had I had it before then. He was negative so I know it was after him. How far you go back is up to you. What a doctor told me made sense. She told me that we will never know exactly who gave it to whom, and asking around won't do a whole lot. It can give you peace of mind in some ways, but don't destroy yourself over making a timeline.

He didn't contact me today even. Had he done that and apoligized I maybe would have given him a chance but not now. Oh well, I'm having fun talking to and meeting new guys.

Okay, so I had liked this other guy for a while. He would always check into our housing computer lab even though he didn't live in housing. He would come in and work on a paper, and would always come flirt with me. He finally got a tip that I liked him and became instantly more flirty, we exchanged numbers and agreed to go to coffee yesterday. We agreed on 7, He said he lives down the street from me too. That day he was like "I am so excited to see you tonight! I'll be counting down the hours!' Around 6:30 he's like, "can we make it 7:30 just to be safe? I might even be there earlier." So I agreed. 7:45 rolls around and he's not here. So I told him that I was just going to change and study, since he's still not there. He begged me to let him come pick me up so I told him 5 minutes since he lived down the street and was supposedly about to get in his car. Still hadn't showed up. So I texted again and said just to not come by. He kept calling and texting and begging me. "Come on Kelly, please" "I'll buy you coffee! He kept calling and not leaving a voicemail. He never eve ntold me why he was late. So I wen't to the movies with my girls and saw the new Spiderman movie. Ain't no body got time for late people.

Oh yeah for sure, different words can carry different meanings for everyone. When I "admit" something, it doesn't necessarily mean I am ashamed, it usually means that something is personal, which this definitely is! However, it did feel pretty nice to put that on my profile.

I do see it as disclosing, I'm not sure why I put "admit" instead of "disclose." I don't really feel a sense if shame, hesitation maybe, but I can't say I feel shame :). I guess I saw it as "admit vs omit"

I ended up putting it on there, in the "the most private thing I am willing to admit" section of the profile. I believe we are both on OKC Dancer, lol. So that is where I put it. Very brief but as informative as I could make it. In the "You should message me if" part of the profile, I put "If you don't put your favorite color in the first line of your message to let me know you read the entire profile, then I won't respond." To make sure that the person read the entire profile.

I've read about how open Dancer is on her profiles and how it has improved the quality of the men that have messaged her. I tried an experiment on my dating profile where I would tell some guys who messaged me that I had H. I would tell ones who would send a first message saying 'Tell me your story," and I would tell them that. Or, if I felt as if they put no thought into messaging me, I would send them my story." I did that both because I want the practice disclosing, but also, I feel like a lot of men message tons of women on there without thinking about the person. SO in a way it was also about making them think. Some men did not respond, but more than a few still responded positively which really surprised me. The pros would be that I would not have to worry about disclosure later on down the line, and would only need to reiterate the risks. I can take down my disclosure at anytime too, so it isn't as if it is permanent. The cons would be that I am officially putting out there for all the world (the OKCupid world at least) that I have H. I am also concerned that people that I don't want to disclose to would see it. As well, I wonder about people who would say no right away, that would have said yes had they known me better before I disclosed. I am interested in hearing all sides of this.

I don't have experience in this yet. I've told people, but haven't disclosed to a partner yet. First of all, congratulations on disclosing- that took guts. Don't take that away from yourself. What you did took courage. Also, don't forget that your guy is fine with it, he accepted. That means he wants to be with YOU. I know the embarrassment you are talking about. It's like the feeling after you have a huge fight with someone and said something you feel you shouldn't have and you both decide just to truck along? Something like that. The way you get over that is personally acknowledge the truths of the situation as opposed to projecting anything else onto it. Then you move on as if nothing ever happened. (no other way to put that. Obviously you know something happened, you disclosed). It feels a bit forced at first, but eventually it will be an important conversation you had TOGETHER. It will be a happy memory instead of an embarrassing one.

I used to obsess over a cure for a little bit, just fantasize. Anymore, I believe that before we ever have a real cure or if we even do, it will become one of those imminent things like HPV is and it is one of those things you just have. Like Adrial and Dancer said, for anyone who is finding themselves obsessed with the cure idea, it could be that they haven't found that acceptance yet. Given enough time, that becomes background. You always know you have it but its just a part of you at that point. I have a feeling though, that you and I are similar in that we just find science cool, and the idea of a new vaccine development is interesting. Or is that just me? :o

I agree!

Okay, yeah I think I'm just going to call it a loss. He didn't text at all yesterday, and today texted at like 1, I responded, and then no response. If a guy can't even take 5 second to send a simple text, how can he take the time to get to know me?

Personally, I would stay away from using the phrase "most people," because usually it isn't true. I think that may be how SOME people view STDs. SOME people think that only gross and sleazy people get it. SOME people think it is something that you should hide. SOME people know nothing about it, refuse to get educated, and yet still say rude things. MOST people however, are smart, compassionate and understanding. I do think though, that there is a lack of STD education that leads to misunderstanding of basic things such as how long a virus or bacteria stays in the body. I have a feeling we won't have that conversation until a large number of people are diagnosed and assumed to have genital herpes. Personally, I don't think that is too far away in history terms. It happened with HPV. If it was treated as something that you are just likely to get or will more than likely get if you are sexually active, then there will be more education.

Welcome to the forum! I am sorry you are going through this. I understand that kind of crazy, almost love at first sight chemistry, so I know how you must be feeling. I want to give you a perspective that will help you out once you hold it to be true for yourself. People's reaction to you have almost everything to do with them, and not yourself. You can control how you disclose, what you say and how you act, but you can't control how they act and what they think. When they react poorly and judge you, that is their judgement about themselves. Their whole lives they have had these ideas and stigmas about whatever it is. They form their judgements, ideas and feelings around it. Then you are confronting those very ideas. If you could have it, they could have it. Then what does that mean for them? Does that mean all the things they thought about people with herpes before is now true about them? About the person they love? It's like that moment you realize that no one has the right answer and we are all doing the best we can. Its relieving and terrifying all at the same time. It is in that instance that many people flee because their mind is so overconsumed with thoughts that they don't know what else to do. Another thing to remember is that if it wasn't Herpes, it would have been something else. Herpes isn't the end all be all of life. Yes it is tough at times and it isn't always easy, but on a scale of life struggles and harships, there are much higher things on the scale.If a person can't be there for you in a moment of need, how can they be there for you in those moments where it requires a different kind of emotional strength? In addition, I find it interesting how our society chooses which kind of struggle we want to support. Cancer is incredibly difficult and one of the most emotionally taxing things someone and their loved ones can go through, but because our society doesn't stigmatize cancer in the same way as an STD, one thing becomes more acceptable to support and discuss than the other. Why isn't all struggle treated the same? Why is one struggle okay to stick around for and not the other? Someone who sees struggle as struggle, and sees your struggle and pain regardless of what it is as an opportunity to love you and support you is the person you want to be with.

Thank you for that, I identify the most with the ending :). "When people show you who they really are,"

@herry been tryin to get out with my friends and do other things, I'm quite the busy body! Lol @dancer I asked him on Friday if he was interested and basically have him an out and he told me he was interested and we set up a meetup for the next night. He'd said "I was gonna ask what you were up to tonight." Because that came after I said something, I don't totally buy it but w/e. I'll give him another day or two before I officially tell him I want to hear from him more.

Still having an issue with lack of communication though. Don't hear from him until 4:30, texted very briefly and then nothing. For someone I'm still unsure about, it's irritating. I'd be down to talk more and get to know him, but the guy isn't talking!

For that guy specifically though, I fell in love with him but he did not fall in love with me, which, maybe that had something to do with it. We were together a good 7 months and he never told me. I do know that had more to do with him than me.

I've definitely fallen for the bad boys more than once. My ex would possibly qualify, lots of tattoos, skater/punk type, but he was also at UCLA, and loved animals, and could talk to me for hours and could be a total dork. There was one guy who I didn't feel it with on the first date regardless of being attracted to him, then I stuck around and attraction grew. That relationship actually ended horribly haha. He's the one who lied to me about having a 3 year old son the entire time. I do think it is definitely worth it though to stick around to check up on your instincts. Sometimes you gotta prove your instincts wrong. I like to look for that something extra. That pull that makes me say "Oh, I GOTTA see that person again, or I need to talk to them again."

For sure, its finding that balance of giving the guy a chance without leading him on. SO i don't want to take too long in deciding if I like the guy. I like the average guy qualities- smart, good looking, good job, likes baseball, etc. I just feel like I need that extra "umph" from a guy. That extra pizazz. I want some damn fireworks! Maybe they will happen at some point with him. Today, not much improvement with texting, but it was a holiday, so maybe tomorrow he will step it up. I don't buy into the whole "i'm so busy," thing. Like, if you want to contact someone, you do. I can text and take a piss, it's not that hard. I just want someone who has their own life, yes, but someone who is at a point where they are ready and willing to make time for me.

Thank you :) Yeah, I am going to give another chance, another date to see if my interest is piqued. The sad thing is, he was super into it. He wanted the date to last longer. We left the wine bar we were chatting at and went to a new bar and he was more physical- huggy, grabbing my arm, he grabbed my leg and put it on top of his. Normally, those things don't bother me, especially if the chemistry is good, then I am all for it. I just wasn't feeling it. I let him do his thing, hold my hand, hug me and be touchy and I did my best to be flirty back but it didn't feel genuine for me. I'll give the guy another chance, and I do hope something happens. I am going to have a problem with how little I hear from him.

Also, I guess it doesn't help that he's not much of a talker when it comes to texting. I rarely hear from him. We talked on the phone once before our date and a few times texting for a week, but it was super sparse. Hours will elapse in between texts.

He's a nice guy, hes attractive, in good shape, has a good job. I just don't get the "butterfly" feeling. Like, I didn't get excited getting ready for the date, and I didn't get excited when he kissed me. I feel like I should give the guy a chance because he is the type of guy I should go for. As much of an ass as my ex was, our chemistry was insane. We had 5 hour phone conversations when we first started talking. When we went out, we couldn't stop talking and I never wanted the night to end. Then I had a dream last night and in this dream we started having sex, but before we could, I disclosed to him. Then he got up and walked away. I understand dreams are just dreams and they don't always mean something. However, it was just weird. Maybe subconsciously disclosing is on my mind. I didn't wake up freaked out about it but I thought it was peculiar.

My thoughts are with you today, hope everything was okay!

Keep in mind that they increase protein for people with decubitous ulcers because it spares their body from using their protein (muscle) to heal, so their body uses the protein they are getting in food to heal. Also, sometimes those people are suffering from malnutrition as a result of them, making the increased protein need necessary. I am not too sure on good cookbooks but I would skim through Pinterest, as they always have great ideas for veggies.