Aerial2013

Also, does anyone know if H1 causes less sever genital outbreaks than H2?

OH yes! That IS a good answer! Thx!

I am experiencing mutual interest and attraction with an H2+ man. Can H2 be transmitted to my mouth if I go down on him? Obviously, I'm not talking about active outbreak time. Anyone know? Sometimes info between my dr and the web differ here, so just curious.

I LOVE THIS!!! THANK YOU FOR SHARING!

My situation is a bit different in details of how I got it and the partners reaction... However, feeling like no one gets it but the people who have/are going through it...SPOT ON! How could they? I would like to share with you, though, that for me, learning to be ok with JUST me is VERY important to me right now. Once I made my mind up (yes just LAST weekend, lest you think I'm SO wise and have been at this forever! HA) to be ok being single for a while and hanging out on here and other sites where I can meet H+people who understand and have experience to share, something was relieved in me. I guess I felt a sense of relief that with EVERYthing else I'm dealing with at the hand of this <*|£~'|£<^{*{><^} virus...degraded love doesn't have to be added to the list. Never again do I want a partner just for the sake of not being alone. I want to be with someone because we truly value and respect each other in our journeys! Sounds like philosophical, romantic crap I suppose, but let me tell ya...The last thing I ever expected to find/feel with this new diagnosis was self-respect. Yet WOW! I'm seeing it settling in just a week after reaching out and getting advice based on experience! Best wishes to you! Nice to meet you, and I'll look forward to hearing if this emotionally unavailable man changes his approach to life as you guys go through this.

Sweeny Todd? Now THERE's an interesting flick! :[ LOL! We could get some good ideas though, couldn't we? I had to go to the Dr yet again today. I have a FANTASTIC Dr. I've been with for 10 yrs, so when I began last week having some other symptoms, I knew I'd have to get in to see her right away...the man I contracted H from wasn't up front and honest about everything, so we don't know what else he may have covered up or conveniently "forgotten" to mention! Hell, by the time this is all said and done, I may be hanging out on every site that covers every 3 letter acronym we ever hoped to avoid, huh?! What I know is that the stigma is always the hardship socially, what I feel is "stupid", "dirty", and somehow "unclean" with slim chances of ever dating outside of an H+ pool. So what I know vs what I feel can vary wildly even within the same day"

WOW! I've been reading ALL weekend...this was the BEST way I could have possibly ended my reading! Goodnight, and THANK YOU for sharing this hopeful story!

Good to meet you too, Peach! I do go back and forth! LOL! Tomorrow, I may just be blubbering all over the place! But for tonight, a friend has made me laugh, my homemade Sangrias have helped me unwind, and I'm thankful to meet YOU! Oh, and don't go cutting off any genitalia! In the words of Gandalf, "Don't be so quick to dish out death and judgement, for we do not know what part ______may yet play.". Cliche I know, but holding onto the anger will only hurt US! Goodnight my new friend!

And btw...I reject the notion that God, Karma, or anything else one might label it could be so cruel as to issue a sort of punishment known as H. I am choosing to embrace the reality that sometimes s#%t just happens, and the person I want to become as a result of it is actually up to me. I am choosing for today to remain positive that this is merely where another part of my lifes journey begins....no need for an funeral yet! Hang in there with me, Peach!

Well, Peach...I took a the advice of a friend and have spent the weekend checking out a separate "std friendly" dating site. I'm not technically looking to "date" because for me, to be really healthy in future relationships I know that I must be healthy on my own for a while, really getting to know myself. BUT, i have made it clear I am only looking for a penpal, and just this weekend, met someone in another state who is perfectly content to have a fellow "penpal" and have no strings or expectations attached. It has truly been an encouraging weekend! I am getting advice from a couple of different sources, and trying to make the wisest choice for myself, never violating the personal boundaries I have set for now in my journey. It's only been a few days since reaching out on this site, and I am already feeling a sense of hope I didn't imagine could be possible. Just believing there's a CHANCE that the stigma isn't where the story of H ends, renews the life already within me!

I am trying to process this curve ball that is bringing me to a "Well, DUH" moment! Of COURSE I'm more than the sum of my "parts" (wow, that was bad, heh) :-). I feel blessed to find this website and blessed to be exposed to the truth instead of the stigma. Thank you all. I'm thinking I may just find that Adrial was right when he said something like H can be the catalyst for finally dealing with the self loathing and fears that were there all along.

Thank you so much, Katie! I'm trying to be proactive about plugging in with people who have come through this. I think I'll start setting aside some funds for the next opp weekend. Those videos and interviews are helping alot. I suppose what it's stirriing in me more than anything is my life long struggle fearing rejection. It feels like herpes has just sealed the deal for me to be forced to risk rejection in my future every single time I have to reveal. That immediately takes me to the place of choosing to remain single, and that's when the really heavy feelings can overwhelm me. I'm doing some things to embrace, rather than fear, my newly single life in my mid 40's...but I feel lonely, and can't seem to shake that feeling most days. Did you share with a friend(s)? If so, was that sharing a positive experience?

I want so much to feel the reality of what so many of you say is the best thing that ever happened to you. I'm just not there yet, I guess, and struggle to see that ever being my reality. I am 43 yrs old, and was a homemaker and homeschooler for almost 20 yrs. I was faithful to my husband for all those years, but after my marriage fell apart, I moved out and set up another home for my kids and I. The first man I dated I ended up being intimate with after knowing him for about a month. He told me he had herpes, but refused to use a condom. It should have been a red flag warning of his character, but I checked with my local health department instead of listening to my instincts about this man. I was told by a nurse at the health department that there was a slight chance of transmission, but if he wasn't having an active outbreak the chances would be slim. I spent two Saturday nights in a row with him, when he told me that he couldn't see us going any further in our relationship because it was hard for him to be with someone who was bigger than a size 2! I'm an athletic size 6 to 8, but have focused more on my health than on size, as the latter seems too shallow a measure of a whole person. Needless to say, when I had my first outbreak just one month after my initial exposure, it was hard to deal with all the emotion. Until I found your website, I had resigned myself to somehow becoming the next great Mother Theresa type humanitarian, believing that no decent man would want to take the chance with me in the future, but my difficulty is even deeper than that within myself. I try to imagine feeling genuine love for someone who may not have herpes, and yet is willing to be in relationship with me regardless of the risk of transmission. I literally cannot imagine myself being intimate with a non-H partner, because I don't ever want to be the reason that someone I love has to go through all that surrounds the virus. I've only told my doctor and three of my closest friends. The betrayal of one of those friends has been a difficult offense to forgive, and has been driving me even deeper into a solitude that feels more lonely, more "ruined" than I hardly know what to do with. I am not currently dating and have no interest in dating, but am desperate to escape the isolation I guess I have allowed to become the new norm for me. I struggle to know who to trust and now how to trust. Feels like a VERY heavy winter lies ahead...in more ways than one!