myfiercecalm

If you thought that was funny, here's a clip from Avenue Q: This is what happens when the muppets grow up. I saw the show last year. It was hilarious.

You're on FIRE daisies! I like this bit, "totally sexually satisfied" :) And reading your post, I thought about former girlfriends I could have stayed with and been satisfied but never totally satisfied (total satisfaction is something I'm saving for the right person). When I first got the positive blood test for HSV2, I regretted leaving those relationships. They were great at first but became emotional traps for me. By the time I left, I could hear Johnny Cash singing Rusty Cage. And if I'm honest, I wouldn't have experienced some of the absolute best sex of my life had I stayed with them. I may have gotten HSV2 from the experience, but considering the 1 in 5 or 6 odds, I was probably going to get it anyway eventually. Not sorry anymore, I was being true to myself at the time. Some people eat too much, drink too much, do too many drugs and all those things can hurt you way more than a stupid skin condition. Sex with the right person just happens to be what makes me happy. Blame biology I guess. We all deserve to be "totally sexually satisfied". You shouldn't have to deny yourself that pleasure regardless of your H status. It's like denying our humanity. Also, the post title sounds like a Muppets musical. Can't you hear Kermit, Miss Piggy, Animal, and the gang singing "I HAVE HERPES! YOU HAVE HERPES! WE GOT THE HERPES FROM YOU! SO WHAT?!".

Hi, I know everything feels insane right now. I have to tell you it's not as bad as it seems by any stretch of the imagination. IT WILL GET BETTER (and I'm not just saying that, it really does). You just have to let yourself experience the emotional and physical pain and forgive yourself. That last part is critical. We all have trouble with it at times I think for all kinds of things, not just herpes. You are human, you made a mistake, we all do. It doesn't make you a bad person. I know you don't feel like you'll be ok with it; I didn't either when I found out. Please don't be so hard on yourself, you deserve to be happy. It sounds like you haven't been tested yet, so don't jump to conclusions. There are any number of skin conditions that are similar to herpes. And yes, if it is herpes, they will be able to prescribe what are called suppressants to help with your OBs. The first OB is usually the worst, and some people never have OBs at all or very infrequently. H is different for everyone though, you just have to give your body time to see how to best take care of it. OK, here's your homework tonight: This is a good one for some hard facts once you are feeling a little better. Finally, to really beat the H demons down, watch what happens when Cicily comes out of the H closet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMiC6shObs8 OK, that's a lot of info, so let us know how you are doing and any other questions that come to mind. Good luck with your appointment!

Everyone is different avigail, some people don't even get OBs. But yes, it could be just one little sore or there could be more. It can be difficult to identify as there are any number of other skin conditions that could cause irritation, have you been tested for HSV1/HSV2 specifically?

We care about you daisies. Your family loves you too, but they just aren't very good at expressing it. They have no perspective for what you are going through. Unfortunately, they don't seem to realize they are only driving you away from them. I hope in time you can forgive one another. HSV is not worth loosing family relations. And like your doctor friend, I am not convinced you really have it. I plan to get tested again once 6 months pass from my last possible exposure in April. Perhaps we will both have good news by then :)

Wanted to chime in from a male perspective here. If the guy really likes you, and it sounds like you wouldnt be with a one night stand anyway, you can definitely tell him what you know right now and he will likely be totally fine with it. Hell it sounds like you probably dont even have it genitally. Perhaps what is happening there is some type of allergy. I dont think you need to put off your sex life at all. Hope that helps put your mind at ease :)

OK, so I was hoping I could get rid of this with baking soda mixed with water, but it hasn't gone away for about a week now. I feel fine in the morning, but after I drink several glasses of water, I feel like I have to pee a little but don't. Then after I do pee, more slowly comes out if I sit down or walk (seems random). It's not a lot, but just a little here and there. I would suspect prostate issues, but I'm only 28. It could be a UTI, but I would have thought the baking soda would have helped more. Can this be a sign of HSV2? Thanks.

So, this is just a general question. If 2 people have the same type of Herpes in the same place, let's say HSV2 genital, I assume they can still give HSV2 to each other orally without protection right? Also, are there different strains of HSV2 (meaning, if you already have HSV2, can you still get another strain of HSV2 that makes your body outbreak in a new way)?

Hi there! I am 4 months into this myself, so I know how you're feeling, I was there not so long ago. First, I want you stop reading this and click this video right now: The Herpes Facts video is a great intro/overview and also quite inspiring I thought. Please watch it, or at least watch it from 5:37 in. That part made me feel like I wasn't alone for the first time since I found out. After that, I watched this one for more hard facts. Some of that is a little dated now as it is over a year old, but still a lot of good tips/info. Finally, watch what happens when Cicily comes out of the closet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMiC6shObs8 Now, hopefully that cheered you up a bit :) I would have liked to have seen those when I was 4 days in. One blessing here is that your ex told you about it. Regardless of how it happened, you have been symptom-free so far, so if he hadn't told you, you would have no idea still. Knowing really is half the battle. Yes, stress absolutely can cause an outbreak, and if you're like I was, you're going crazy with irrational thoughts at this early stage. We all go through it when we find out. Put your mind at ease anyway you can. Meditate, watch a funny movie, be with your friends. Distract yourself and realize the world isn't ending, in fact, you are about to learn how to live a more fulfilling life and become a stronger person because of this. Now, do you know if it is HSV1 or HSV2 yet? They are different, HSV1 is more common orally and HSV2 is more common genitally; however, either can be oral or genital.

I keep the meds on hand as well. I think it's a good idea just incase you have an OB and other methods don't keep it down for whatever reason. Also, I want to be able to use them if a future partner would feel better if I used them. I don't use them constantly though at this point.

Hi there! I am 4 months into this myself, but I know how you're feeling, I was there not so long ago. First, I want you stop reading this and click this video right now: The Herpes Facts video is a great intro/overview and also quite inspiring I thought. Please watch it, or at least watch it from 5:37 in. That part made me feel like I wasn't alone for the first time since I found out. After that, I watched this one for more hard facts. Some of that is a little dated now as it is over a year old, but still a lot of good tips/info. Finally, watch what happens when Cicily comes out of the closet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMiC6shObs8 "He told me he had it I just didn't know how serious it was (I was not educated and I know that's my responsibility to be educated). He was not responsible enough to wear protection to keep from spreading it." -The girl I *believe* gave it to me was similar. She didn't know she had it, but her last partner did. She didn't realize H can take up to 6 months to show anitbodies and that you can pass it even if you use a condom. She didn't want to use protection after our first few times. And she was a veterinarian to boot. FML right? :P "I'm really disappointed in myself and so ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated by this. I'm a real big health nut and after reading all these things that I am going to be more susceptible to... It's got me super paranoid that I'm going to get some terminal illness just from having H." -I was worried about this too, but you just need to be smart about when you have sex and who you are with (like we all need to do regardless of H+ or H- status anyway, nothing has changed here). I'm also a health nut and H definitely upset my crazy hypochondria-infested head. Yeah it sucks, but there are so many worse things that could have happened. I re-framed my thinking around it like it might be a sign from the universe to be careful and avoid things like HIV and other STDs in the future. What if we got HSV so we would be more careful and live longer as a result? That's totally possible and not the worst thing in the world :) Also, H is equal opportunity. You could have just as easily gotten it from some dude who said he had been tested and didn't have it. Guess what, if he didn't ask for a Herpes-specific blood test, they didn't test him for herpes (yeah, that complaining everyone does about how broken medicine is in America, totally true). AND even if he tested negative for it, he could still have it and the antibodies just hadn't developed yet. H is a crazy virus, that's how it's survived for thousands of years and why 1 in 5 people in this country have it. You are not a leper, you are a beautiful, vibrant young woman (I can tell, you put your picture up :) ) with your whole life ahead of you and just as many options and choices as you had before H. Nothing has to change because of this. You get to choose what you change if anything because of this.

WARNING: totally biased post coming up, but you asked about diet, so here we go. I mentioned I haven't had an official outbreak I'm aware of. I believe part of the reason for that might be a predominantly vegan diet. I have heard that nuts and sugars can contribute to outbreaks. I still eat nuts. I drink soy milk and almond milk in place of dairy. I've done this for years and successfully avoided what I call the "blimping effect" many of my peers have been experiencing for the past 10 years since we went to college. I have no scientific evidence to back this up (other than my mother being a veteran of the Nutrition profession who swears by this diet), but all I can say is the vegan diet works for me. I eat what I want and maintain my ideal weight range easily as well as avoiding a number of health issues that can be aggravated by other diets. I suspect it is good for H+ people as well since it is super low in sugar, fat, and no dairy (dairy has been linked to other skin conditions such as acne). That's also why you can get pimples after eating a pizza I've found. If you ask your friendly neighborhood doctor, be prepared for them to reject everything I just said. Doctors and big Pharma don't make any money off of healthy people :) Now, having said that, I could be completely wrong about diet contributing to the effect H has had on me thus far. But I BELIEVE the diet helps immensely, and that belief is likely as effective as anything. Our perception of the world is more important than anything. This is the fellow who introduced my family to the vegan diet if anyone reading this is interested: https://www.drmcdougall.com/index.php

So happy you had such a wonderful day :) We all can have more of them I think. H is such a mental condition, but if we aren't actively experiencing an outbreak or thinking about disclosing to someone, life can be the same as it was before we had H. H can even help us find our real friends, and the people who really deserve to be our partners. We all deserve days like this with people who make us forget or indifferent to H!

Thanks @normalprofessional! I feel like I woke up from a nightmare. I still have good days and bad days, but they have less to do with H now. Meeting the right people is the real trick I think. And you never know when that will happen or who they will be.

About a week and a half ago I was in a used book store looking through graphic novels and video games. All of a sudden, this adorable woman in glasses with a nose ring walked through the aisle. I've been a social shut-in pretty much since I had a positive test for HSV2 back in April. I spent several extra minutes in the shop talking myself in and out of complimenting this beautiful creature. Finally, disgusted with my new-found insecurity (being an introvert really sucks sometimes), I forced myself to interrupt her intense comic book plundering and comment on her intoxicating perfume. I really just wanted to prove I wasn't completely emotionally and sexually dead anymore. It was an experiment. I told myself it really didn't matter what she said. If she couldn't take the compliment or blew me off, whatever, at least I made a move as a man in an honest and positive fashion. Then the unexpected happened. We talked for about 20 minutes, she gave me her number, and we spent the whole day together last Sunday. Turns out she is awesome though she's going through some stuff at the moment. Long story short, I don't know what will happen between us, but it doesn't matter because when I was with her, I didn't care about the H at all. I felt so good with her, I wasn't worried about disclosing if it came to it one bit because I knew she would understand. She made me want to tell her everything. Funny how when you dip a toe, sometimes life shoves you in. Again, nothing may come of this beyond a friendship, but I feel alive again, and I truly feel like disclosing wont matter when I'm with the right woman. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Herpes!

Hello and welcome. You sound like you've been through a lot and are doing very well. Emotional stress can definitely act as a trigger I think. I haven't had a documented, official outbreak; however, I have had various pains/issues that seem to be triggered by stress. So good for you for saying no to that guy who was clearly trouble. One of my H+ friends is always worried about disclosing. It prevents her from meeting people and truly being herself. She is emotionally crippled by H, terrified of potential rejection. I hear what you're saying about finding someone who is H+. That can happen, but it puts your social life into a pretty small box unless you live somewhere like New York City or LA. There are a lot of right guys out there for you who are H+ and H-. I recommend what Dancer already said about dating yourself. Do things you love and those guys will find you. The right men for you will care more about you than H :)

So glad you are taking the time to learn about this! Your fellow is a lucky man. It sounds like he might benefit from reading and posting on here as well. I couldn't talk about it at all when I was diagnosed and told only immediate family about it and my last partners. I felt dirty and guilty all the time, but reaching out and learning more about it from the great people in our no judgement community helped me work past that. Maybe it can help him as well. I also attend a local support group as needed in my city. There may be one near you as well. I go to Planned Parenthood. Offer to do research with him maybe? If he sees how accepting and loving you clearly are, maybe it will help him face the stigma himself and become more at peace.

Yeah Herry, sorry to hear the testing is giving you the run around at this point. Did you get a western blot test yet? I've heard that is the most accurate but can be tricky to find. Good to see you again, best of luck!

Thanks Dancer! I figured it probably wouldn't matter, but nice to be sure :)

Thanks for sharing dude. I'm totally inspired now :D Congrats!

Hello all, so I may go on some antibiotics later this week. I have what I thought was a bug bite on my arm with a small red streak going up the arm and suspect this might be lymphangitis (an infection of the lymph vessels). If it is, I will be put on an antibiotic. As of now, I haven't had any clearly defined HSV2 outbreaks, though I blood tested positive for it back in April. I was wondering if taking an antibiotic can cause herpes outbreaks (as it suppresses the immune system) and also anything else you think I should be aware of? I am not currently taking any suppressants though I was taking Valacyclovir back in April and May. And on a darker note, I tested negative for HIV, but it is still possible I could have been exposed to that when I got HSV2. I was waiting for 6 months to go by to get tested again just to be sure I don't have HIV. So I'm not sure how taking an antibiotic might affect that if at all. I wanted to check with you guys first since I trust you more than my doctor at this point :) Thanks!

Congrats! Reading your story was a fun and inspiring way to start the week :)

Unfortunately, I wont be at the weekend event this year, but I do live in the area. I would enjoy making new H buddies :) If anyone has time and is interested in meeting up before or after the weekend events, feel free to PM me!

I just wanted to second what Dancer said, especially the part about not doing anything to "deserve" what happened to you. I struggle with the same thing still some days, but it can get better. You have to learn to forgive the past (including yourself) if you want a better future. Again, advice I need to take myself every day. "The first thing I think of when I wake up, the last thing before I try to sleep". - That is how many of my days begin and end as well, and, I imagine, that's true for many people with H. One thing that might help you is the thought that any man who is worthy of being in your life will accept all the things you have told us and anything else that you may view as a problem about yourself (hence the expression "worts and all" - no pun intended ;). I'm 28 with HSV2. I think I understand at least part of what you are going through. All your friends are getting married. Hell, all the friends you thought would NEVER get married are getting married. But being in a long term relationship is just one state of being. There are other ways to find happiness in the meantime if you learn to love yourself more. "At my age all anyone talks about and wants to know is...why are you single?." That just sounds like you may be around a lot of boring people. There is nothing wrong with you for being single. In fact, I think it's really cool to be late 20s and single. It shows character that we aren't willing to settle for anything less than a person we truly love and who loves us now and always. So give yourself a break, and enjoy your fun, single freedom while you can because your Mr. Right is going to find you when you least expect it :)

Thanks for that @WCSDancer2010. Yeah, trusting people is part of my issue right now. Even if I see STD results, it doesn't mean they haven't picked up something in the meantime (I'll still want to see the tests of course). But that is very negative, worst-case thinking. We all take a risk when we are involved with anyone sexually. The trick is being with people who are worth it whether it is short or long term. These are good stories you posted. Also I thought this was really funny "If/when you have a success story I'd love to hear your story so we have one from the guys". In my head, I added "because the guys have obviously NEVER had one" ;) I have a herp buddy from a local support group, and she is terrified of disclosing. I keep telling her she is in the best position, guys are going to want to be with her anyway (hey, we want what we want, what can I say?). Not so sure it goes the other way yet. I go back and forth on the anit-viral thing. I'm not a big fan of conventional medicine; I've seen its dark side too much. I also don't like the idea of funding big pharma. What is their motivation to find a cure if we all buy their treatment indefinitely? At the same time, I want to protect my partners. Regardless of what I decide, I'll be honest with my partners about it.