kaytea3

I've read a few posts about alternatives to intercourse during an outbreak. I'm going on 2 weeks for my current outbreak which is in a new location (more internally in my vagina) than any of my previous outbreaks since April. I'm wondering...are sex toys safe (i.e. anal play/etc) as long as there is no vaginal intercourse with it? I know that the virus could be anywhere in the genital region so i wasn't sure if this was even a good idea. does anyone have any suggestions as to what is safe for my partner to play?

Do you bring it up when the physical part of the conversion comes up even before meeting? I know there is no right time to bring it up and I guess that's the frustrating part. But if they don't accept it even before meeting then no one is wasting time. But then maybe if you did meet and there was chemistry it might make them look the other way when you disclosed. I guess it's just that "what if" game and chance haha. I'm just frustrated @optimist

@optimist When do you feel its best to disclose during online dating? Before meeting or after meeting? Do you usually do it in person or via text? I don't want to waste their time or mine if they choose not to pursue, but sometimes i feel if it wasn't going to go well after meeting in person the first time, why go through the anxiety of it?

I had the same problem with the itching with my first out break two months ago. I've noticed that i think my prodromal symptoms are more itching than tingling. Honestly, I found that ice can sometimes help, if you can stand it for a few minutes. wearing breathable loose clothing, emphasis on going commando, using the hair dryer on the cool setting to help ease some of the itch. Hope this helps!

My first outbreak visible symptoms were still there after finishing the valtrex for the first time. but they seemed to improve after a few days. it's really tough. the itching and tingling came and went as well. it took a good two to two and a half weeks to feel no symptoms. Hope your both doing well! Hang in there.

@mwest thanks for reaching out. i've heard the first outbreak is the worst as well. My first outbreak was extremely uncomfortable. I felt like everyone could tell i had it but they really had no idea. Ice definitely helped me too. Maybe try going commando to avoid friction, that really helped me as keeping the air dry. i even lightly blow dried the area with a hair dryer on low or cool to help dry/sooth the area, just be sure not to burn yourself if you try it. I started taking a stress b complex vitamin to help boost the immune system and shared my diagnosis with a close friend to help with support and share a few laughs. Do the best you can, you'll make it through! :)

@Abby2017 Hey I'm glad to hear you're doing a little better. I was recently diagnosed and felt the initial shock was one of the worst parts, beside the outbreak. I had similar concerns about sex like you do and I recently found this post about successfully having casual sex with being hsv2 positive and disclosing. the post is called "2 year update - successful dating/casual sex in NYC" and @NothingGoodGetsAway talks about her success. its truly great to hear you can live a normal dating life and that this diagnosis is just that, a diagnosis and we can all have great sex and dating lives. Hope you're doing well.

@SPATX919 Hey, thanks for reaching out! My first outbreak was entirely uncomfortable. I made sure to start taking better care of myself with more hydration and taking a stress B complex to help with the immune system. After my first outbreak, I was clear for about 5 days and had my second outbreak and immediately started antivirals and its been clear for a week plus now. I think sometimes it takes the body different amounts of time to create antibodies to the virus even with the help of antivirals. I tried to avoid any friction/underwear/tight clothes until most if not all symptoms subsided, but that's sometimes easier said than done. & I agree with @Cecilia, do something to treat yourself! take some of the stress off and find some good laughs. Hope you're feeling better!

@Katidid and @NothingGoodGetsAway thank you for the feedback! Any particular lube do you find works best? I tried some KY but it seemed to have to frequently apply it?

@NothingGoodGetsAway its great to hear success stories like this! and definitely not TMI, that's awesome! I wouldn't want a diagnosis like this to interrupt a good or improving sex life. Im wondering if you or anyone could answer some of my questions about sex. how did you know it was okay to start having sex again after your first outbreak was done? I'm newly diagnosed and just came out of my second outbreak which there are almost no visible/physical signs left at this point. Is it good to wait a week or couple days? Does it matter? How is rough sex a trigger for some? the friction aspect of it? I just want to be able to continue a healthy growing sexual life haha

@tt88 its great to hear such great success and acceptance! it truly lets others know that there's hope for a "normal" life/relationship, if normal does exist. I work in the healthcare field and have recently had to take my own advice about not letting the diagnosis define who i am as a person. I am still the same person I was before the diagnosis. Although I still have days where this totally sucks/is uncomfortable but i try to keep going with my daily life and things that i enjoy doing. i'm only hoping it gets better with time (its been less than a month since i was diagnosed) and that i'll be able to find someone as great as you have! Best of luck to both of you! :) Please keep sharing. I hope to be as open and brave with sharing to others that are close to me.

@HikingGirl Thank you ! I hope this outbreak subsides soon. it's my second one and i thought i had just got over the first one.

Hellooo. I know I've read about herpes outbreaks around or driving the mentstral period due to the hormonal changes. Does this increase the chances of an outbreak if you're on birth control or lessen it? I haven't been able to find anything really about this except that theirs possible for a herpes outbreak during times of hormone changes, I.e. period. Any information or personal experience would be appreciated.

I had trouble with itching for my first outbreak. I ended up going commando whenever possible and wearing loose fitting clothing. I tried the hair dryer in cool which helped somewhat. I did try some ice over cloth when it got really itchy which helped for a few minutes. I'm still having some random tingling without any visible symptoms. It seems to come and go but I wonder if it's okay to have protected sex with those on and off symptoms of random tingling.

I was just diagnosed last week with hsv2. I'm female, mid twenties and from New Jersey. I'd be interested to talk to someone for support, advice, and just tips on dealing with outbreaks and how to break the news to new partners.

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. It's definitely tough to deal with and takes a different affect on each person. Hang in there! You are still who you are as a person. I hope the gabapentin helps with the pain.

I was just diagnosed a week ago with HSV2 and was started on a 7 day course of Valtrex. I just finished it yesterday and my symptoms have immensely improved but are not completely gone. My doc said I could get the prescription for recurrent outbreaks if my symptoms continued, to take a longer course. Should I be taking the Valtrex until all the symptoms are gone completely? or start taking it again if the symptoms get worse? Does anyone have any tingling sensation on their butt but no outbreaks? i know it can travel on the nerve endings but i was hoping the outbreak would stay localized. Any triggers to look out for that cause an outbreak besides stress? I've been doing my best to keep the area clean, dry, and friction free and stress free as possible. Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks