james81

It was one year ago, I felt some pain in my back and I looked myself in the mirror, a small red wound near my spine looked at my back -never mind- I said -I must probably hit my back against the swimming pool buoys or something- But oh dear, that red stain itched like a bitch. I didn't pay much more attention that night, I am used to busted my body every week so a little more pain is endurable, besides I am a H warrior,I know how to keep a zen attitude when i feel the burning man down there LOL The morning after the wound had spread, like a serpentine. I showed it to my mom and her words made me feel mortified. -oops, you've got herpes - I believe my face turned pale like a ghost. My mom looked at me troubled... -whats the matter? - no-no...nothing. HSV2 in my back? up in there? what the hell? Now my mother knows I've got herpes! I rushed to the hospital. My doctor invited me to sit in the stretcher... -Take your shirt off please. And she started to touch my back without gloves, not the wound itself, but around. -You are gonna get infected!! I screamed. I was so paranoid about infecting anyone although I have had the TALK many times before that. For me it was more something about being filthy, full of viruses, a sack of H who's not worth to be touched while in a OB. My doctor told me I had herpes zoster, A.K.A. culebrilla (little snake) in Spanish. Great! one more herpes for my collection haha. I went back home dragging my feet. Defeated. In the way back I talked to the pharmacist. When she saw the painkillers, acyclovir and the cream she knew. -Culebrilla? -Yes m'am -Uffff painful shit, ain't? She told me how she had to take care of an old lady who had it. That I was very brave for not complaining (if she only knew) even-though, by that time, my "culebrilla" almost circumnavigated my whole trunk. I came back home and my mother acted like I got an scratch in my arm. To my surprise she didn't care, she was just worry about the pain. Obviously the herpes zoster has not the same recurrence as the HSV2, nor that it's a STD. But for me it was herpes, therefore nasty, disgusting. I felt like a monster. But the people around me think otherwise. That was my first wake up call. For the first time since I got the H I felt really liberated. What the heck? it's just a skin condition, people don't mind as much as we think they do. We make a big deal of something out of our imagination. We fall into prejudgments, false assumptions and create funny theories in our minds. Herpes is a bitch and for life, I give you that. But it's just a skin condition for pete's sake! painful spots! that's all! I heard people that when in despair because of the heavy burden of having something like HSV for life, they think about suicide. If you are on and off depression seek for help, but do not blame our poor little herpes friends. They are mostly harmless. That's not the reason. It can't be. Dig deeper. If you are decided to kill yourself for that, besides the pity of losing the chance of living these great times we are in, I want you to remember that when you are dead, people will remember you as the person who kill him/herslef for having pimples. Think about how ridiculous your gravestone would look like with a: <<>> And about my second wake up call, well, this is too long already, I will tell you later B-)

Since you are my new minted H Buddy (lol) i feel the urge to say; EXCUSSSSEEE MEEEE MISSSSSS? I felt apalled when I read "i am no longer eating healthy, training, blabla" WHAT? This is the poorest excuse i ever heard from someone with pimples in her skin! It's like, "heyyy jaime, whasup brah, I've got this bad acne while sleeping so I can't spot you in the training today" WUUUUUUT What the hell? Since I was diagnosed with the H, I ran a triathlon, swam 5ks in open waters, joined a cross-fit community, play several soccer tournaments. And in the meantime I even had time to torn my ankle and my shoulder for good, got a head concussion that almost made me drown , suffered a cardiac problem, bust my spine doing dead-lifts and get a nice discal hernia (bulged disc) that kept me bedridden for two months pissing in a bucket :-)) I mean, I almost got handicapped for life because of my reckless yet obsessive love for all the sports that humans created, and now you are telling me that we can not enjoy our bodies as we used to do? >:P I don't want to spoil my up-coming controversial discussion called "Having herpes is a blessing, no f'real, it is" But yeah, having this condition made me more aware of my body, my sacred temple, I feed it with good stuff and I take proper care, like the precision machine it is. It's been a few months for you, you do not need to be ready. Grief is a phase that you should pass. The good news is it will pass. IT GETS BETTER, MUCH BETTER. I can tell you my own experience. At the beginning when I got diagnosed I didn't give a flying damn. I believe it was one year later when I started to feel desperate, down, paranoid. Then I rocked bottom, and from there it's been all the way up with some downs. What I learned is that my mind (and probably yours too) plays nasty tricks. I used to stress myself with petty things. Before there were no any probably causes to put the blame on for that unusual stress. Since I got H, I tend to blame it for stuff that made me angry/sad/anxious. That's a mind trick, the brain needs to find a culprit. My poor, harmless H got scolded and take the blame because of its nasty past (ohhh you came here from sex you filthy H) All the bad thing that are happening in my life is because of the H. Yeah, that's the reason why I am so miserable. F^*&K YOU HERPES, I HATE YOU! I am learning to control my head when plays its games. This is a learning process and I believe I am much better now than 5 years ago. I am starting to know myself. I am getting stronger, more perfect, I am stars' dust, atoms linked in a flawless and virtuous way. I am Mother Nature's unsullied child The good news are that you are too :x

Why I live in Spain WHYYYYY :-((

I guess we all know this, genital HSV2 comes with the stigma of being a STD that last forever. I mean, this is the judeo-christian morality BS that it's ingrained in our society. The one which says SEX IS BAD, IT IS FILTHY (as long as it is out of the matrimony) If you are HSV2 positive means you are a slut, an easy girl/boy and blahblahblah hate hate, ignorance, hate, puritanism, ignorance.... So yeah, basically in the eyes of our prude society, catching a STD is way worse than some "fever blisters" in the mouth. At least we are not being throw into the bonfire for our sins!!! LOL. Anyway Caligirl12, my only advice here is that until you accept yourself you won't accept the jokes or mean comments from others. People always make stupid comments, that's a fact. You can not live in a bubble away from stupid comments. Soon or late you will need to face them. So this is a learning way, a proceess to self-approval. Love yourself above everyone and everything for all the goods things you are. Do not let a skin condition tells you what you are, it's unfair for you and for the ones who love you (I believe many :x ) And one more thing, forgive your friends for their infinite ignorance. They don't put faces to their mean comments. C'mon, let's be more rational here. We all make rude and disrespectful comment every now and then. I believe the best cure is to make fun of our own flaws, seriously. I joke about my H condition from time to time. I believe it's the best way to heal my soul. Just my two cents

It's funny (for not saying it's terribly awful) how you mother compare a skin condition with a violation and then she is married to a guy with herpes (???????) Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people? You are in your right to behave angrily at your parents, yeah you heard me. No one can put you down in such way. I know that they are venting their frustrations on you and their way to cope with your "suffer" is being so negative, but please... Let me tell you one thing, and one thing only. No one, I repeat, No one can put you down. You are a strong, beautiful woman, you are an invincible warrior. Get that in your head. Finally, do not expect your future partner to behave like your parents. There are some a-holes that could react in a nasty hurtful way, no doubt. But in general, boyfriends tend to feel less responsible for your past (duh) than your parents. The problem with mom and pop is that even if you are 30 years old full independent working person, they feel responsible for your health and future. So when we go with the "bad" news they react with that mix of anger and guilt, so they backfire in unexpected ways.

It's funny that he, in his infinite ignorance, gave you the best advice ever without even notice it. he said "its just a little blister every once in a while" And the day you understand that fact you will feel yourself liberated from a huge burden.

As a man B-) , I need to speak out for my fellow buddies. Do not expect a 20 years-old boy to behave like a real man. So here is the blessing in disguise, he is now out of your life, better now than later when he could make your suffer big deal

Hi BOOH, First of all, do not panic. Your sex life it's going to be awesome. trust me, I know what I am talking about. Second, I blame you Americans for calling HSV with weird names to the point of diluting the real meaning of it. A cold sore, fever blister and all that weird names... ALL OF THEM, those are herpes, HSV. Let's educate the people on that so we can avoid misunderstandings. Third, given the recurrent episodes of your HSV OBs, it seems like you are HSV2 positive. You don't see me saying genital herpes or mouth herpes, since both of them can spread anywhere, although HSV2 in the mouth is less frequent. Your partner can be both HSV1 and 2 positive and just have visual signals of HSV1. My advice is; both of you go to the doctor and get an antibody test to find out what you guys are carrying. I might add some remarks about positive thinking and how using words, one way or another, can help you or destroy you. It's your call. Let's redo some of your words BOOH, starting with that nickname of yours: Change Bummed Out On Herpes for Bettering Out On herpes (lol, does it make sense in English?) Longlife plague = Skin condition I am horrifically afraid that one of the [...] for, I am concern about... Seriously, it helps! rephrase all of it and suddenly you would see it in a different light. It's the power of positive thinking. At last, but no least. About spreading the virus. Take a look at this very website, check how people got infected. Do you see anyone complaining about getting infected for sharing a bath tub with a stranger? have you ever heard of any one contracting the virus in the genitals for sitting in the toilet? As far I know, you have HSV1 in your genitalia, so spreading the virus through sharing a glass makes me giggle because I am picturing weird images about... welll hahah forget that. Obviously, keeping a good hygiene in general is a must, being positive or not. Wash your hands after manipulating down there, do not share your towel and your are good to go. I know you are in a difficult spot right now and I am probably taking it too lightly. But I want to show you that I am the living proof (as many people here are too) that it will get better. I can see you being of of us in the not-too-distant future, making jokes about it and giving comfort to other in despair. Positive thinking! that's all it needed

Just a quick note about infecting yourself again in some other part. I have read tons of medic literature and there is no any evidence of such behavior. I wouldn't say is impossible because I have not read it nor find any lead but it seems highly unlikely. Adrial, do you have that article about spreading H to the eyes? I would like to take a look at it What I found out is there is a huge misconception (even among some family doctors) about the very nature of herpes outbreaks. To the point of hearing a Doctor giving advice about using underwear so the penis won't touch the legs and therefore spreading the infection to the thighs LOL. I believe Adrial has uploaded some information about how the genital HSV could show symptom anywhere around the basal ganglia zone, also known as the underwear zone. So, my answer is no, you don''t infect yourself in other parts of the body, as you don't get reinfected with the same HSV type if you get sex with a positive partner. It's a matter of building defenses that's keeps the H at bay. Said that, unless I see significant medical facts about it, it's just part of the paranoid behavior we develop along the years. In addition, cleaning your hands after touching the sores or your genitalia it should granted and off the discussion here :))

Salutations brothers and sisters! I am a hyper-healthy male who has been living with this skin condition for more than four years. I am not gonna lie, It's been a roller coaster with its ups and downs. Now I am in the top of the hill and I look down to all that misinformed mob that stigmatized people like us. I find their lack of knowledge disturbing (you just read that with Darth Vader's voice) I am not here to ask for help, I came here to give away all the positive energy I have been collecting along the way. I have an energy field around me, it's indestructible, it's highly positive and if you join "the force" it will make you invincible. When I was first diagnosed I was in need. I was alone and afraid. I wish I had some one who writes positive (and silly) posts like the one I am writing right now. I wish I had anyone going through the same, telling me "no worries buddy, it gets better" Well, its payback time! I can be that guy for you! I am from Spain, sadly, there is not much support for us Spaniards. I guess the HSV infection rate here is lower than in US. That's why I am here! for my hermanos y hermanas, although if you are from other country feel free to contact me any time!

Back in 2009 my GF at that time had a violent OB in her mouth. We thought it was HSV1 and waited long enough for the skin to be healed. A few months after, I got my first genital OB and since then every two months my skin condition pays me a visit, accurate like a Swiss clock :)) She never had an OB again though and I wonder if it was HSV1 or HSV2. She could be one of those lucky pals who does not have recurrent HSV2 outbreaks. But the funny thing is months before this, I had unprotected sex with a friend of mine X_X . The interesting thing is that a year later I was visiting my friend's house and when I went to the bathroom I found an anti-viral cream in the bath cabinet. That made me suspicious but I never mustered the courage to ask her. I guess the truth about my infection will be an unresolved mystery, actually, I am thinking that it's a good mental exercise for me! Resolving the mystery will not bring closure. It won't help me in any way. Dwelling in the past is the worst thing you can do. Move on and stop thinking about it. It will cause you pain and will become a never-ending obsession. Life is great, we have just a skin condition. If you think about it in perspective its so ridiculous that we should feel ashamed of even complaining about it. There are far worse stuff just around the corner and we are here licking our wounds (not literally haha) C'mon guys! cheer up! \m/