I feel trapped

[Kassey]

My boyfriend and I where officially dating for two weeks when I started feeling pain down there . At first I thought it could just be irritating but when I told him he seemed worried . Later that night he called saying he has something to tell me and it’s serious . We met in person and he confessed to me that he has genital herpes. I automatically broke down and out of every emotion, all I could feel is heart broken & confused. The guy that I trusted and felt so much for potentially gave me something I could never get rid of . I’m not the type to sleep around or just have sex with just anyone so I couldn’t believe this was happening to me . All the symptoms I was having added up and I ended up going to the doctors to know for sure . I got diagnosed with HSV2 and from that moment on my whole life changed . I no longer felt confidence within myself and felt destroyed and alone . No one knows I have it only me and him . I’ve been with him for 5 months now and I feel trapped . He has such bad anger and has moments he treats me less than what I am . I always was the type to be so independent , filled with confidence but now I feel so ugly and like no one will love me . I’ve always been against abusive relationships , always walked away when I wasn’t being treated right but now I don’t feel like I have the same curage and I fear that he knows that . He completely changed from the person I fell in love with . He puts his hands on me and is verbally abusive and I feel like I’m stuck with him because of that feeling that no one else will love me . He even tells me himself that if he ever sees me with anyone else he’ll laugh at him and tell him he can have me because I have herpes . I don’t know what to do and need help . 

[100918]

The first thing you do is dump him.

You WILL find someone amazing to be with who will not treat you like crap. No One ever has the right to treat you like crap.

I met someone almost 4 months after I was diagnosed, and he has been nothing short of amazing. He is HSV-negative and has no worries about if he gets it from me. And he treats me like a princess. He has NEVER thrown HSV in my face and it is not even something that we talk about. I disclosed, we briefly talked about it, he told me that it is a non-issue to him, and that's that.

Do NOT settle for someone who treats you like shit. Get rid of him, work on yourself, and when you're ready, get back out into the dating world. You are worthy of being loved and treated well...don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[OutOfWit]

I think the first thing you should do is tell someone you are close to. Someone you trust whether your parents, sibling or a close friend. It will help you not feel so along in this. Try counseling and work towards ending the relationship. 

The title of your post says everything. You feel trapped. I believe he meant to trap you! Don’t let him. 

❤️

[Girlneedinghelp]

Do not stay with that person. I know how scary it is as I did the same thing for a month or so, tried to cling to the guy that gave it to me so I wouldn't have to face the world alone, but do you know what if you take it step at a time you dont actually have to ever do anything you aren't comfortable with. So you break up with this guy, you are single, still nobody knows you have HSV.. you go through a week of watching a box set, eating food you like, gyming, going to work, buying clothes you like  doing your hair and makeup and still nobody knows you have HSV. You carry on with your life and focus on yourself and still nobody knows.. you are completely in control of this. After the first year a lot of the time you never get it again.. so take this first year as healing time, find a counsellor to speak to about your diagnosis and then when the dreaded new guy comes to you who wants to take you on a date, you can go on a date and eat food with him and still nobody knows you have HSV.. and the chances are you will be naturally hesitant which if it is a guy worth keeping he will keep pursuing and pursuing you.. you then decide whether it's the right time to tell that guy if you want to be in a sexual relationship with him or you say it's not for you and then try again with the next guy, when the time comes for disclosure you deal with that at that point in time only after speaking to a counsellor if you want and having a better immune system by then and feeling more comfortable in yourself and having attracted the tight kind of guy by then who has pursued you x

[LoveTheMountains]

Please don't feel you need to stay with that person and please don't stay! I was not with the person who gave it to me when I found out but over the course of my dating life early on I stayed in a few relationships far longer than I should have because of feeling like no one else would want me and fear of disclosing.  A couple of them were very emotionally abusive men and (at 41 years old) am still dealing with the emotional scars of things they said to me.  A couple of other relationships were not abusive but were with guys that really kinda of losers for lack of a better word and I kept staying out of that old fear again. At some point in my mid-thirties I FINALLY

[LoveTheMountains]

OOPS! My post above went through before I was done and I couldn't edit it. Here is the full post:

Please don't feel you need to stay with that person and please don't stay! I was not with the person who gave it to me when I found out but over the course of my dating life early on I stayed in a few relationships far longer than I should have because of feeling like no one else would want me and fear of disclosing.  A couple of them were very emotionally abusive men and (at 41 years old) am still dealing with the emotional scars of things they said to me.  A couple of other relationships were not abusive but were with guys that really kinda of losers for lack of a better word and I kept staying out of that old fear again. At some point in my mid-thirties I FINALLY fully realized my worth as a human being and if a person isn't good for me (or good for themselves) I get out asap.  Unfortunately there are a lot of unhealthy people out there in the dating pool; people dealing with anger issues, substance issues, immaturity, people who were just never raised to know how to be a good partner and aren't really trying to learn how.  Its not your job to fix them/teach them and its not their job to save you from growing and learning to love yourself fully. AND there are good people out there, they are just harder to find.  Sometimes I think the reason they are harder to find is to force us to go through personal growth and do the work we need to do first.  I'm sure I've had to work thru a number of my own issues in order to be a good partner as well.  

[Downfall]

Salut kassey i just want to tell it happens and every day there someone in your situation am a male 32 I hated the girl who gave it to me but after 1 year and a half we met again and had a good time my point is you have been fooled but live goes on leave him and soon you will find someone better than him and believe me herpes gives you something special when it goes dormant it will improve in time and you will feel better than before also you will set your standards higher this time feel better soon.