Dabbling in HSV Dating Sites

[HBetty]

Well, I am looking around the HSV online pool, and the water seems pretty enticing. I'm scared to put my face up on profiles. Maybe it makes it all real. I'm not sure. But I've forced myself to do so. It does help knowing that there are a lot of potentially amazing people out there with the same disease. Someone I could meet who will be judgement free, at least when it comes to HSV.

 

Friends, and even my psychiatrist (who chose to mention before our session was over that I will need to use protection for the rest of my life grrrrrr) tend to make me feel less than.

 

Clean. That word clean. "I'm clean."

 

Great! I'm clean too. I showered this morning. Now, let's talk about our STD status.

 

Well, I'm part of a club now. The club of the informed, hopefully honest, and potentially life changing. I feel like a lot of people choose to be in denial when it comes to HSV. Because it comes and goes and can be very mild. They write it off as razor burn and hold their heads high. Well, I'm proud of being informed about my health. Maybe you have it, maybe you don't. Maybe it will rain. Maybe it won't. Either way, I packed an umbrella and I'm ready to go for a stroll.

 

[GreenEyes727]

I know what you are saying. I hesitated to put my picture out there too but I did it. I'm on Positive Singles. I met a great friend who lives 10 minutes down the street. I went on one date but the guy lives hours away and even though we had a nice date, nothing came of it. I also belong to Plenty of Fish. That's a regular dating website. I had a date recently with a guy I had a date with a year ago. I told him about my H and he didn't jump up and say he was ready to leave. He flirted with me on Plenty of Fish for a week and then disappeared for 2 weeks. Then he asked how my hooters were doing! I was so insulted. I thought he was nicer than that. But in the end, he wasn't my type anyway. Always keep the hope and keep us posted about your dating adventures to come!

 

[Orngpeelmafia]

I tried positive singles...even have multiple pictures up there. I never had any luck...I talked to one guy on there but I think my pushing for him to prove he's not a catfish scared him off :/

 

I also don't like that I went on there to find someone to talk to...basically I was looking for this place and people like all of you who can relate and have discussions...PS is BS in my opinion...crazies and people just wanting in my pants and I'm sorry but that's just not me. Also if you want any good perks of the site for actually finding people you have to pay for it and I don't wanna do that I think it's lame...I have herpes that's bad enough just find me someone and don't charge me an arm and a leg please k thanks!

 

[mr_hopp]

I love your outlook, HBetty. "Great! I'm clean too. I showered this morning. Now, let's talk about our STD status." Love it. :) Being sexually and healthily aware is the new cool, as far as I'm concerned. Bravo.

 

My whole take on H-only dating is that by only dating in the H pool, we're pretty much agreeing on a certain level that we are sexual lepers. Well, we aren't. We're basically cutting out 90% of the dating population by segregating ourselves to the herpes community only. And I can understand H-only dating being an interim between not dating at all and dating full on. It can kind of be like training wheels to get us back on the horse, to start building our confidence and self-acceptance back up. But if it's used as a crutch, that's when I like to jump in and call bullshit (in the most loving and supportive way, of course). ;) Here's more on that:

http://herpeslife.com/do-i-have-to-join-those-herpes-dating-sites/

[HBetty]

Yeah, the fact that they are like "Sign up! it's free! Oh. You actually want to communicate with the people on here...that's going to cost you" is very much BS. I like the idea of the STD dating sites because it takes some complicated talks, and fear of infecting the uninfected off of the table. No, I won't close the door to someone (herpes or no herpes) who may be interested in me, but for now it is nice to see so many handsome faces that are afflicted just like me. I'll still live my life, and if I happen to find someone interesting and vice versa, then I will wrestle the talk. I will be vulnerable, and hope they don't fade away. Because gentlemen never just bolt. Sigh. I understand that the potential to meet someone who doesn't care about this condition or has the same gift as I do is out there. But I really don't want to deal with someone who wants to be OK with it, but deep down they are fearful. I'm getting ahead of myself, but I'm just not up to convince someone every 15 minutes about how low the risks are of them getting it.

[Orngpeelmafia]

I totally understand where you're coming from...I joined ps when I had just found out that me and herpes were in it for the long haul together. Then I actually found someone who had H without using that site...I like to think of him as life's way of saying "sorry for the tough life lesson maybe this will help ease you back into normalcy" because he helped me so much. We had hung out for two months before I said anything because I didn't know he had H and I was planning on just walking away if he wanted anything physical because I didn't think he'd wanna hang around after he found out. Well he disclosed to me after we almost ended things and it was a huge weight lifted...sex was fun like it used to be because we didn't have to worry...I was able to find some of my old confidence in the bedroom and I started to feel like me again. Well it ended up that he was using me both physically and emotionally...he taught me more than one lesson. The first thing I learned from him was that herpes really isn't that big of a deal. The second thing I learned from him was that positively or negatively herpes doesn't make a person. Bumps or no bumps some guys are jerks...so don't limit your dating pool...