i am 99.9% sure i have herpes and i am freaking out

[tryingtosmile]

I am a 20 year old female looking for support and encouragement. I had sex last friday and on the next sunday I had what I thought was a yeast infection. I got the medicine and the symptoms mostly went away, but then a week after having sex i noticed a painful spot on my lady parts right near the opening. I immediately freaked out and looked at it in a mirror a million times, and all i could see was some redness. I went to a gyno immediately with my mom, the only person who knows, and got tested for herpes. the doc said it didn't look like a typical herpes outbreak, just a little cut, and I got more medicine for the yeast infection which she said I did have....however, now two days have passed since i visited a doctor and the spot has gotten worse.

 

I THINK i can see tiny red bumps and it is painful, not only because the doctor aggressively swabbed it for a culture. It burns if any pee touches it when i go to the bathroom, but aside from that there is some general discomfort around the area and it SUCKS. I don't know what else this could be, and since i have had sex in my life (as most 20 year olds have) I know how entirely possible it is that I do have herpes. I can't get treated for the symptoms until I get diagnosed this friday, if the test shows up any conclusive results since I got tested when I first felt it.

 

My mom tells me to stop crying until I know for sure but I just feel like I know, what else could this be??? Herpes is so common and I know that my chances of being all right are very low. Who will want me now?? Who would ever want me when there are so many girls out there without herpes?? I was recently called disgusting, a slut, and a pig who can't keep her legs closed, by a former sex partner because he found out I also had sex with other guys he knows. If he or anyone else knew about this.....they would really think I am disgusting then. I am changing my ways of casual sex mostly because I never ever want to have sex again knowing that I could infect someone with something so shameful and embarassing. I am thinking of joining a herpes-only dating site because then at least I can find someone like me and I won't have to have "the talk" because all i ever wanted was to find love and now I have made it so much harder for myself by coming in contact with this infection.

[jb1691]

My ex who gave it to me had the same symptoms and tested positive for type 2. Only thing I could say is wait and find out what the results say. I was recently diagnosed with type 2 the other day and I must say I feel embarrassed and emotionally out of it. I'm only 22 and this has happened to me. I'm trying to stay positive. All these people on here including myself are here to help. I've realized that someone will love you for you no matter what. Stay positive and do what makes you happy. Trust me the right person will come along. Just remember that you're not alone. :)

[Aimee (previously baffled1]

tryingtosmile,

Take a deep breathe!! As for the guy calling you names, it just shows in immaturity, insecurity, and stupidity. If he thought you were so "disgusting", what does that make him? Considering he was once your partner.

Whether you have it or not, you can find help, understanding, and comfort here. I was recently diagnosed and got it from an ex who was incredibly decietful and malicious about it. im 39yrs old and was never/will never be a person that sleeps around. This condition is an equal opportunity infection; doesnt discriminate, so it doesnt matter its was a persons 1st time or 20th time.

if you learn you do have it, you are young with your whole life ahead you. you can and will find a great guy who will love you for you, get married, and have beautiful babies.

A friend of mine for 20yrs was your age, 20, when she got it from her 2nd boyfriend. She dated after that still, none of which had herpes. Five years after her diagnosis, she met a guy, got married, and had 2 kids. they have been together/married for about 15yrs. She has herpes but he does not still.

There are many other stories like my friends' story. just a though sweetie. just because a person goes on a herpes dating site doesnt mean you will find the right person. If the person is right for you, herpes or no herpes, it wont matter whether you meet. i hope i have said something that is helpful to you. i will pray you have it. please let us know your outcome

[tryingtosmile]

thank you both for the messages of support. You are right about the guy who called me disgusting, he is the one with the problem. I just fear that in the future men will have a hard time seeing past this because of all the stigma attached to the word HERPES. someone will truly have to love me for my personality which is so rare in this day and age of superficiality and culture of sex sex sex sex in every movie, song, and tv show. if it is so common why do i feel so alone?

 

[peterk]

Herpes is being carried by millins of people. The difference is whether you are going to be one of those that lie about having it or not. The entertainment biz is filled with multimillion dollar lawsuits for those that lied. Including Robin Williams, etc. Rumours about Brad Pitt, Tom Cruises wife, famous atheletes are well known. Just keep in mind that when you do find somebody the herpes talk it will be a small blip in a whole lifetime of discovery.

[Aimee (previously baffled1]

tryingtosmile,

perhaps this will give you a new different perspective on how you approach guys, sex etc. you dont have to tell everybody you know and dont know you have it (if you do). Only someone your gonna be intimate with would have to tell.

I spent the majority of my life in committed relationships, so the casual sex of todays world was never any option and could never be one. in my eyes, this is what casual sex means to me, 1night stands, friends with benifits, type stuff as the meaning could different to someone else. so not much will change in my approach to guys and relationships but what i will change and will be not negotiable, perhaps this may help you too;

1. I will take even longer than I already did before becoming intimate. 2. the guy must go get tests for everything and show his results before i disclose to him. ( no taking his word for it) Having HSV, can make you more subseptable to other things since it effects the immune system.

3. he will have to sign a confidentially agreement before i disclose to him . BUT this because of the on going court case I have with my ex on him knowingly exposing/giving me herpes without my knowledge and one of the stipulations that was put in it. So I have to do to the confidentality agreement.

By taking even more time to get to know someone, you will get to see his true person and character. So when I, or you enter a relationship again, it will have deeper meaning and connection than before. You feel alone because of the stigma that is attached to it and because it is not talked about it. Most people dont even know they have it and thats 1 reason why its being spread so easily. People who know take more precautions to protect their partners because they are aware. Its not included in standard STD testing despite that people think it is. Why is it not? probably because testing can be expsensive. Insurance compaies dont want to pay for it and/or the medications since some of those os expensive.. Well thanks to Obama care, medications are covered and tests are too, But a person still has to ask for them.

[peterk]

A lot of the meds are avail cheap on line but be carefull about who you buy them from as some of the meds are not mixed properly

[tryingtosmile]

Is there anything you know of that I can do right now to ease the discomfort i am feeling down there? Since I still don't get the results back until Friday and can't get treated until then. But I am starting to accept that I do have herpes and am starting to cope emotionally. The physical pain makes it hard to not think about. I am still applying a cream twice daily for the yeast infection that I got the day i went to see the doctor, but it doesn't do much throughout the day especially since it burns sometimes when I pee. Sorry for the details, but I am looking for maybe some home remedies or things that will make me feel physically better.

[peterk]

tea tree oil

 

 

[jb1691]

Hang In there I know it is really rough. I wake up every day saying how did this happen to me, but I know there are people out there that will look past it and be with me for the person I am in the inside not what I have on the outside. Whenever I get down and depressed I just look for people to support me and that's what you have right here. Happy Holidays :)

 

[tryingtosmile]

Thank you so much. This really means so much to me, and makes me feel a lot better.

[Aimee (previously baffled1]

tryingtosmile,

although i didnt have any pain, just some discomfort and a lot of redness. its trial and error on home treatments. i tried trea tree oil and it mademe have more redness. i did havesome mild succes wuth alor vera oil; 98% aloe

[peterk]

tea tree oil or fnp remover on non moist areas when tingling starts is best. aloe and vit e for healing

[tryingtosmile]

my little lady cavern is starting to feel much better today. Hopefully, if this was an outbreak, it will be a predictor for the rest of my future outbreaks if any occur.

[HerryTheHerp]

I have also had great luck with aloe. It really helps soothe the pain and keep the area disinfected. Highly recommend it. Also, a heavy dose of lysine seems to make it even more effective.

[WCSDancer2010]

tryingtosmile...

 

First - welcome. Glad you found us and I hope we can help to ease your adjustment to living with Herpes a bit lss traumatic.

 

First - have you read the handouts and e-book that Adrial has graciously provided on here (all printable/downloadable). They will help you get better educated which helps us to feel more in control of what is going on

 

Handouts:

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

 

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

There are a number of conversations on here regarding treatments - check them out... lots of great info from people who have lived with this awhile :)

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1802/going-the-natural-route#Item_4

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1912/camu-camu-superfruit-antiviral-that-could-help-with-herpes#Item_11

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1925/emotional-freedom-technique-eft#Item_2

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1624/herpes-medication-genital-hsv-1-how-to-keep-herpes-outbreaks-clean-dry#Item_22

 

I'm playing catch-up on here but please ask away and I/we will try to help to answer your questions. And most of all - BREATHE! It WILL be alright - promise!