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Met a new girl that i really really like... DAMN!!

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I am male. I got the virus when i was 21. I'm now 44 & have very few outbreaks. it's been at least over a year and a half since my last one. I take a ton of vitamins and eat only organic/non GMO foods.


Here's my dilemma...I haven't been w/ anyone for a long time for various reasons one of which is the virus. I wasn't planning on meeting the most awesome woman in the world (to me). Now i'm not saying that because i was alone for so long, trust me , she's different from ALL other women i've known. Intelligent, sensitive (like me thus understanding of my sensitivity), non conceded non self centered, non financially bias, you name it...


We haven't had sex yet but it's getting close. It's wednesday night & we're going out on friday night. [bTW, I haven't gotten the book yet] Tonight's good night kiss was HOT! I know i have to disclose & the sooner the better but i'm worried about timing. Do i tell her tomorrow , or after we get back to her place after the show and have to stop what might start, then either disclose right then or the next day after i refuse sex and make her wonder why.


I know that most are worried about the possibility of dating in general but I'm worried about the possibility of being w/ this particular woman because i really really like her a lot. This is really bumming me out.

She IS pretty mature, from europe (i'm american, we're in US) & at least the same age as me ( i think she's a little older actually ) . She was once a nurse, she takes care of animals & she admits to being sensitive so i have a feeling that she will understand but...


I am worried that she might get mad that i didn't tell her sooner even though we've only met a short time ago (a couple weeks ago & seen each other a small handful of times but i THINK we are already feeling close). The other night she disclosed what she thought was ''some dirt on her'' it was nothing really at all; she was married once, had a gum transplant; (she's beautiful, would have never guessed). Really nothing... is that cute or what? god i really like this girl, so anyway... she then said ''so, i just gave you some dirt no me, now it's your turn''.


We hadn't yet had a hot kiss like tonight, where you can feel the blood rushing through each others bodies, so i picked some other dirt to tell her... Ok, that's kind of an excuse, i was putting it off because i wasn't comfortable and i was afraid of scaring her away. She was glad that i said 'I don't believe our past defines us' she also said that i have to be patient w/ her and doesn't want to rush it. I think that means she likes me...


And now i'm worried that she might get mad because i gave her time to get to like me and ... man, this is really bumming me out.

I always thought that if i get back into a sex life that I would just have a sex opportunity here and there and i would disclose like a responsible adult and have or not have sex but i never planned on meeting the most awesome woman in the world. Damn!!

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Hey Revenant :-)...you sound so lovely and so does she. She's given you 'some dirt' (such a funny term lol) and opened it up for you to share too (so you chickened out..not the end of the world)...and she wants to be patient and take it slowly, which you have like gentleman. You have acted with integrity and respect..how could she get mad? I wouldn't :-)


I would think that you cared enough about me to get to know me and give me time to get to know you too. I would understand that it is something really personal and difficult to share...that you needed time to build up trust with me before telling me and I would feel honored that you trusted me enough to share this.


You need to tell her sooner than later...and before things get too hot again (that just makes it more difficult!). Trust me you will feel so much better...and if she is that awesome her reaction will be just as awesome. She may need to talk about it, need time to think about the implications for her...but I don't think she will get mad.


So stop feeling bummed out...I didn't get mad at my giver when he told me and the guys I have since disclosed to didn't either. Its an opportunity to make a really deep and honest connection with this woman and to give her the opportunity to have the same. Be brave and go for it :-)

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Great result, clearly great woman, what a relief for you! Gentle reminder.... Only fair to let her know that condoms do not protect 100%. It's an easy mistake for someone to make if they haven't had to deal with it up close before. Take care of her.

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See, this is the perfect example of this support coming full circle. The excitement of being able to help someone else go through the (successful) path you just walked through ... that's beautiful. Congratulations, Revenant, and looking forward to your helping others see the positive path. :)

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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