Disclosed herpes for the first time now I'm embarrassed

[what2do]

I just had the herpes talk for the very first time. Of course I already knew that he wasn't going to freak out and that he wasn't going anywhere but now I'm really embarrassed. I don't know what to do or say. He keeps sending me texts messages like nothing is wrong. I know there's nothing wrong but how can I get over the embarrassment?

[willow]

Hi, im new to hsv and this site, and quite literally just sent another person this same msg, but maybe it will help u?

 

I literally just came home from a bar, (which i never go to clubs...) but anywho, i didnt drink tonight, met a super nice dude, and on our drive back home our convo got super personal.

we only kissed... but then he told me he wanted to see me again...

i ended up telling him i was tested positive for hsv2 and im in no way ready to be intimate with anyone in the near future, he wasnt scared, he accepted my bravery, and asked to see ne again this weekend .. no bar this next time.. i said yes..

ive only been diagnosed jan 3rd, but this site helped me to be brave.

try to remove the stigma... u are worth everything.

its just, if hes still responding, and all, u shouldn't feel regret telling him.

Or any embarrassment, i do understand what ur going through, but seriously... he obviously doesnt mind!

think of it as a zit!... the embarrassment goes away after a couple days right????

 

-ashley

[WCSDancer2010]

@whattodo

 

First congratulations on making it through the disclosure talk. I know that it took a lot to be that vulnerable and open.

 

So, try this on. Play a game with me. What if you were H- and your friend came to you saying they had herpes and they just disclosed to their BF. The BF took it well and is texting them and seems fine with it. But your friend feels embarrassed in spite of the fact that the BF is just fine with her condition. What would you tell her???

 

I'd like to hear what you would say @whattodo before I say anything else... think on it a bit. ;)

 

[misskellyrenee]

I don't have experience in this yet. I've told people, but haven't disclosed to a partner yet.

First of all, congratulations on disclosing- that took guts. Don't take that away from yourself. What you did took courage.

Also, don't forget that your guy is fine with it, he accepted. That means he wants to be with YOU.

I know the embarrassment you are talking about. It's like the feeling after you have a huge fight with someone and said something you feel you shouldn't have and you both decide just to truck along? Something like that.

The way you get over that is personally acknowledge the truths of the situation as opposed to projecting anything else onto it. Then you move on as if nothing ever happened. (no other way to put that. Obviously you know something happened, you disclosed). It feels a bit forced at first, but eventually it will be an important conversation you had TOGETHER. It will be a happy memory instead of an embarrassing one.