On the lighter side...

[ihaveittoo]

Hello all,

 

I've read through many posts in this forum. They cover the spectrum, enlightening, inspirational, sad etc. Many people come here when they are at their lowest emotionally, especially after just recently being diagnosed. Trust me when I say that we long time veterans of herpes never forget where we come from. I know I had my rock bottom moments regarding herpes back in the day.

 

Over the years I have found humor to be a great pick me up. I once worked with a guy who was a master at telling the most awful jokes. Not that they were dirty, just the kind that make you groan at first, then after a minute or so of thinking about it you start laughing in spite of yourself. So, I thought I'd leave you with a couple jokes that made me laugh. (I openly admit to anyone who listens that my inner 14 year old is alive and well.)

 

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?......You go in a coffin...

 

What do a condom and a battleship have in common?....They're both full of seamen...

 

Groucho Marx or Richard Pryor I am not...but those make the inner 14 year old laugh.

 

Please add one or two bad jokes you know, the world could use a good laugh.

 

[victoriaxxx]

Too bad. I don't really know any jokes..

[willow]

What did the penis say to the condom?...... Cover me! Im goin' in!!

 

 

[whitedaisies]

Lol

[WCSDancer2010]

Robin Williams:

 

When in doubt, go for the dick joke

 

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

 

I can't even get a condom on when I want to! "Hey, baby. Yeah, I got a love glove. Hold on." "I'll be right with you, honey." "Don't go away on me now." You're playing "Beat the cock". "I got it, I got it!" There's your penis like a midget in a diving suit... "I don't think we're going in today, Pete. We didn't make the deadline."

 

And OMG I just found THIS:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-6I9GBsYeE

[WCSDancer2010]

I went to a disco last night....

 

They played the Twist - so I did the twist...

They played Jump - so I jumped

They played Come On Eileen - I got kicked out for that one ...

 

*Snort*

[whitedaisies]

I luv that song.....never thought of it that way though...it will have a different meaning now!!!

[ihaveittoo]

LOL....like what I see so far..the spirit I was hoping for.

 

This one went way over my head when I first heard it at about 12 years of age...

 

What do you do if an elephant comes through the window?....SWIM!!

[ihaveittoo]

Robin Williams. What a shame it ended like it did. Been a fan since the days of Mork & Mindy. RIP.

[ihaveittoo]

The Broncos never had a chance to win that game today. The Colts had Luck on their side the whole time.

[ihaveittoo]

The Broncos never had a chance to win that game today. The Colts had Luck on their side the whole time.

[JessikaRabbit89]

Lmao @WCSDancer, and I value your wit and humor @ihaveittoo.

[ihaveittoo]

A little Monty Python to lighten the mood. Is it appropriate? Probably not. Is it in poor taste? Yep. If it were in good taste it wouldn't be near as funny.

 

 

 

[seeker]

Love python! Wheres the fetus going to gestate, in a box?

[ihaveittoo]

Ah yes, you gotta love Stan...sorry, Lorretta...

[jjjim15]

are there people living happy productive lives with herpes can they really become minor bumps in our lives and not all controlling. sorry not a good speller

[WCSDancer2010]

In case you haven't noticed, yes.... I'm one of those people who Herpes is not even a speed bump for any more.

 

You see, the majority of the angst and upset around herpes isn't "caused" by the herpes... it'd just that H brings up all the insecurities and personal beliefs that have always been there. When I really *got* that, the minimal angst that I had around herpes vanished. I now know that the people I want around me won't care that I carry it. (Who wants judgemental friends anyway??). And the person who falls in love with me will fall in love with the woman who stands proud in who she is.... virus and all. Ultimately I've found my life to be BETTER when I got these things....

 

I know that some of this just takes time to get there. But I would strongly suggest to everyone to find some kind of personal growth courses or therapy to help you to work on YOU... learning to love who you are.... warts, bumps, virus, baggage, and all .... because THAT will help you in your healing better than any anti-viral will in the long run :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[ihaveittoo]

@seeker here is the scene you referenced above...

 

 

 

 

When your feeling down just listen to this song...

 

[ihaveittoo]

Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking intents!

[ihaveittoo]

Not really herpes related but this is too funny. Since the majority of posters on this forum are female I thought you'd enjoy this.

 

 

http://m.youtube.com/results?q=beware%20of%20the%20doghouse&sm=3

 

 

[ihaveittoo]

And the sequel...