Asypmtomatic, Serologically Positive

[Heartofgold]

Greetings,

 

I am a 31 year old woman who 6 weeks ago was diagnosed with HSV II via blood test. I had no reason to believe I was positive, but noticed during my last "full" panel screening during my annual that I was not and tested and requested it. Well, as it would happen I'm positive and experienced an onslaught of emotions ranging from anger, to sadness, to faux-acceptance, and still no outbreak! The waiting has to be the worst. I requested suppressive meds from my doctor, but she said that by taking the meds, given that I haven't had an outbreak may lead to an outbreak -- seriously! My test result of 1.62 it would indicate a recent exposure, but my last sexual encounter was fully protected with no malfunctions at 9 weeks prior to testing. I realize this means nothing, especially if the individual I was intimate with was asymptomatically shedding, or a lesion was present outside of the condom -- I thought I checked thoroughly. Even now as I type there are so many things that I want to say, but want to keep it brief yet informative and hopefully someone in my position can shed light, and perhaps give insight on the condition, especially when asymptomatic. To add a layer to my emotional game of jenga, I have abruptly cut off the gentleman I was dating - who by the way is phenomenal and he thinks the same of me. We communicate via text, email or phone almost everyday, but I have declined to see him due to my returning to graduate school and I am swamped with assignments and readings *wink, wink*. I cannot bear to see the look on his face when if tell him, and it breaks my heart every time we converse because all I can see are my dreams of a life with him dashed. He is a man I can love and build a life with; amazing in so many ways. He gets me, and I get him but I don't want to give him this. The emotional toll it has rocked me, before this I was young, vibrant, beautiful, in good shape, intelligent, ambitious, and funny; now I drink too much, can barely muster a greeting and don't care to leave the house, with the exception of work and occasionally the gym. I know I will get through this because I'm not too keen on the other option; I just need to know that I will be okay and I will have love from another. I don't feel dirty or useless, just sad that my prospects in dating have been significantly reduced -- and some would say that's a blessing. I'm not seeing it yet. *Heavy sighs*

[Scared4this]

You can get info on medhelp forum as well. It's been very resourceful to me. You test result falls under low positive so you might want to retest at a later time or do a western blot confirmation test. The fact u never had any outbreak is definitely worth while to do so. There might be a chance u were recently infected as well. Have ur partner tested? If he is negative... There is a good chance ur test is false positive. The false positive tends to happen more often with HSV1 in high #. So I would encourage you to red thru medhelp and search for hsv2 low positive. There are many posters who got biokit or WB and it was negative. This is recommended to be done 12-16 weeks after possible exposure. Hope thus helps. I am greeting my WB on Friday. God bless, S

[Scared4this]

Btw... I am sorry about the guy u were dating... I am in a similar situation and cut off after I was tested positive. My score is higher than ur 2.43 . I can't really give u the emotional support yet as I don't even know how to deal with mine .... But only time will tell.

[Heartofgold]

Thank you for the response, I have actually seen your posts on medhelp and frankly, not your posts, but the post of others have diminished my hope that this is a false positive. I have read the articles, I have done the research -- nonstop -- and the more I read, the more I feel as thought I am tumbling down a rabbit hole. I want to yell at the top of my lungs at the medical community that not testing in the general population if you have no symptoms is an awful idea. Damn the costs. The emotional toll is enough to drive someone insane when they are in my boat. If you want to kill the stigma, perform the tests. If it was common knowledge the risks of exposure, and actual population living with HSV I & II maybe "...and now I have herpes..." wouldn't be a punchline. My physician called me in for a follow up after our phone conversation because she was worried about my state of mind. Her words of comfort, "this is not an ailment of the promiscuous...someone who is educated will understand" didn't help. How many people are educated, let alone will understand? I can say sincerely that prior to diagnosis if I were to meet a fantastic individual who was positive, I would humbly decline. With that honesty with myself, how can I expect someone who didn't already love me to be willing to overlook it. Time heals all wounds, and mine are fresh. A year from now I may be posting anecdotal stories of self actualization and positive affirmations, but right now I've slipped into the anger phase of healing, again. I took precautions, I asked questions, I inspected (you can be sexy and do this!) I can pull my medical history up online, I asked to be tested together because I wanted to give myself freely and you the same -- more in the protection of me, but you get it -- and just like the Latin root of the word herpes -- boy is this one a creeper. It will creep up and bite you before you have a chance to make deals and plead on bended knee that I'll never be irresponsible again. But that's just it, I was responsible. I got tested and demanded the same of my partner. Full panel is not full panel, HSV testing is not necessary in the absence of symptoms -- gotcha!

[Orngpeelmafia]

So you're going through the healing process :) and it's good to read you have a spark in you to fight your way out of the hole you've found yourself in. DONT GIVE UP! I promise it gets better if you keep fighting. I've had relationships with H+ and H- people after I found out. I thought I would end up with a dating pool of zero people and now I am one of the people you speak of looking at this as a positive! I find myself being more selective now not out of fear of rejection but really looking at people to see if they're worth my time :) I found a lot of love for myself through this journey and I think you will too. Don't give up. But allow yourself to be mad or sad or whatever you are feeling because you need to...just don't stay there! <3 it gets better

[riverstyx]

Alright, I'm going to add my two cents in here. A 1.62 falls within a range where fully 60% of results are false-positives. I went through a similar situation this summer, and it was harrowing. But the ELISA is notorious for false-positives within the range that you are reporting. My result was even higher. I recommend the Western Blot, for two reasons. One, commercially available tests like the ELISA look for *one* HSV-2 protein, and only one--namely gg-2. The Western Blot looks for 14 proteins. Besides, western blotting is inherently a much more accurate technique than any ELISA method. They are many, many antibodies in our blood from a variety of mundane infections, and these often cross-react with the proteins being tested for on the ELISA. So I would reflex to a Western Blot if I were you.

[Heartofgold]

Orngpeelmafia -- awesome name, I would love to know it's origins!

 

Thank you, thank you, ten times thank you. I know I will come out on the other side battered and bruised but better -- alliteration! My confusion and anger can be derived from the "meh" attitude of medical professionals. If they were concerned about the emotional toll, they would take the textbook, health class, scared straight element out of contraction. Whose genitalia truly swells up like a swarm of wasps stung it? Or looks like run over road kill. I really want to change the attitude of those that are not H+, but the platform does not exist mainstream without the scarlet letter "H" but it starts somewhere right?!? It is truly a skin ailment that is a nuance and nothing more; you won't die and the stigma is worse than the actual condition. Talking through this in the last few hours has been so therapeutic. I've dealt with this on my own. No family, no friends have been told due to the shame. I am the family member nuclear and otherwise that has been used as the bar for all others to meet, the oldest sibling, the smart one, the favorite, comely, successful. How the universe knocks you down a couple of pegs. Sadly, I wish I believed the hype; I'm envious of my younger sister, I think she is the bees knees, I want to be like her -- go figure. I miss the days of singing and dancing, laughing, appreciating the advances of the opposite sex, flirting, smiling. I dread the day I have to acknowledge to someone without anonymity I am HSV II positive. I can and will do it, I like me and the opposite sex too much to be a recluse. I can get through this, but I need help.

[Yadira]

@heartofgold -so you and I found out we have HSV2 the exact same way! I requested the test when I realized it hadn't been included and I was shocked when the results came back. The first few weeks were an emotional struggle but then I realized I am still the same person I was before. I haven't had an outbreak either. A few months back I thought I felt prodome symptoms but then I took Lysine & it went away. Please take care of yourself, get back into a good routine. Live your life. And don't push away an amazing man. My boyfriend is absolutely amazing & he does not have HSV. He loves me for me & is not concerned about a virus that may or may not cause problems. We are in it together & he is very supportive.

I'm glad you found this forum, it's super helpful!

 

[WCSDancer2010]

@Heartofgold

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

First - I agree - I'd re-test for your own sanity... if it doesn't come out a true clear positive, I'd go for the Western Blot.

 

I totally agree about the whole crap with the Medical community and believe me, we have a lot of plans behind the scenes here to deal with them once we have the resources to do so. Adrial is building a Home Study course (which is in Beta mode right now) which we hope will not only help others but will finance the costs of this site and eventually help us to start a campaign for better education and testing. I'm looking into a possible Crowd Funding idea as well. It blows my mind that they see the emotional toll of people who get this because the majority of carriers are totally unaware of their status yet they continue to not test for H in the standard panel and leave people believing they have been tested for "everything". It makes NO SENSE! And don't get me started with the Dr's who say "You don't have to tell a partner as long as you are not having an OB".... SMH ... there are days I want to go postal on the medical community about it! ;)

 

So - about your guy. Please. Sit down and have a conversation about it. Tell him what you told us. That you looked at your tests papers (GOOD FOR YOU btw ... most people don't ask for a written copy and if they get them they don't look because they feel they would have been told about it if they had anything) .... realized that H wasn't tested for, requested the test and came back with a lowish-positive result. That it *may* be a false positive but the numbers are high enough that it's indicating a possible very recent exposure... and that he needs to get tested himself... for BOTH of your benefit. If he comes back H+ ... well, odds are you got unlucky in spite of all your precautions (you are NOT alone on that one ... and sadly most people believe they can *see* when a person has an STD when in reality Herpes and HPV both can be passed on with no signs AND a condom :( ) . If he comes back H-, you may well have a false positive ... in which case, I'd definitely go for the Western Blot.

 

He needs to know he likely wasn't tested either. And he may well be in the 80% of those who don't know they have it and whatever happens with the 2 of you, he needs to know his status either way. Approach it from both a place of wanting to start a relationship with trust and honesty, AND because you respect him enough to want him to know the reality of the STD testing process no matter what. Because right now, this is the ONE way that WE as a group can help to reduce the stigma and help to reduce the spread of the virus ... through educating those who we care about so that they get tested and know their risks.... ;)

 

(((HUGS)))