One week later..

[Ihaveittoo1975]

Well, it has been exactly one week since I got the official results of being HSV2+. What a week it has been! I have only cried twice I think, but it has been on my mind non stop. I have spent countless hours roaming around the web in search of some hope for my "new life". I have run the same questions thorugh my head over and over again. Why did I do what I did? Will I ever find someone who accepts me with H? Will I ever have sex again? (Like for most people sex is an important part of my life) Will I ever be able to have candy, drink my McD caramel frappes, eat fatty juice ribeye steaks, have a beer or a glass of wine again? Will this affect my work? I am sure most of you recognize these questions from your iwn experience.

 

Today I feel have come so far from the dark thoughts I had only a week ago. I am almost afraid to say it this early on, but I may have already accepted that this is a card I have been dealt to live with, now get on with it! Maybe it has something to do with that my first, rather mild ob, is now almost cleared up. In a way I am curious to find out how my second ob will develop, if at all. I am forunate to be in otherwise good health, I am a pretty confident in who I am and I have few other negatives things going on in my life, so although this past week has definitely been emotionally very stressful it could have been a lot worse.

 

Finding this forum from the very beginning has made a major impact on how I have dealt with getting this little bugger. I won't necessarily say it has been a life saver for me personally, (I am sure for others it has been) but it has made my transition to my new (hopefully better) life so much easier. There are a few people on here (I think you know who you are) who are really awesome in the way you guide, support and care for us newbies entering this INITIALLY scary world of H+. Thanks to all of you so much! I spend a (too) big amount of time on forums related to my profession, but this past week they have really had to take a back seat to this forum. Hopefully I will be able to contribute to other new members making the transition down the line.

 

Being European, one thing which has really helped me was finding a couple of threads on different forums concerning the lack of stigma of H on the other side of the pond. What a difference from how it is here in the US! No offense, but Americans in general really need to get a grip on all the fear mongering this country is so filled up with. And that goes for all kinds of topics, not just about H. Society, government, authorities and so on are trying to scare the American public to keep them in place so you are easily ruled. IMO the phrase "land of the free" has been obsolete for many years. It's time the American people fights back to regain the control of this country and make it "We the people" again. Sorry for getting political like this, but it's so ingrained in the US society and it does no one any good. In this particular case those of us who are H+.

 

To finish off, for those of you struggling to come to terms being H+, know that it is mostly in your mind. Sure, some of you are unlucky to really struggle physically too (it's yet too soon to know if I will be one of them myself) but if you can fight the mental aspect of H you have won more than half the battle and it may very well help you with the physical part too.

 

Take care everyone!

[WCSDancer2010]

Being European, one thing which has really helped me was finding a couple of threads on different forums concerning the lack of stigma of H on the other side of the pond. What a difference from how it is here in the US! No offense, but Americans in general really need to get a grip on all the fear mongering this country is so filled up with.

 

Amen!!! We are working on that here. It's the reason I decided to come completely out and be totally open about my status. The interesting thing is, I think that the stigma is FAR worse INSIDE THE HEADS of H+ carriers ... my reasoning for believing that is that out of the THOUSANDS of people who know (between FB and now my online presence) I have only had one "negative" post (from my blog... from a troll). Everyone else ... from the 1000+ FB friends, men who have read my profiles on dating sites, my clients, blog readers, and dance friends pretty much all say that what I have done is needed and they all support me.

 

I think this is because we just don't discuss it. So when someone is diagnosed, they haven't already had conversations with anyone to let us know that it's not a big deal to them. Which causes people to feel they have to hide their status and that feeds the stigma that *they* feel ... it's my theory.... based on my personal experience.

 

I'm so glad you are learning to accept your new reality and realize that this is not the end of the world ... but rather just a speed bump in the timeline of your life ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[Sil88]

Haha it is a bugger right? Glad to see another Brit here - enjoyed the read :)

[Ihaveittoo1975]

Well, not quite a Brit. More of a Scandi. :)

 

Btw, I hope my post does not come across as bragging about turning around rather quickly. I'm definitely not 100% ok with this, and I may not ever reach that point, but I refuse to stop living my life due to this annoying hiccup.

 

Since a while back I made a decision to make a significant change in my life, and although this diagnose has partially postponed that change by a couple of months, it will not stop me from going through with it. Actually it appears this change will actually make my life with H a bit easier.

 

I wrote this to inspire others as I believe the more positive things one reads about H, the more likely one is to look at it from a more positive POV. There is already WAY too much negativity out there already.

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Kudos to you @ihaveittoo1975! As you probably are aware from my posts, I am all about leaning on the positive sides of things. I don't think coming to terms with this is easy for anyone, and some people certainly struggle more than others, especially when painful recurring symptoms are involved. But in moments of strength, sharing positive words of encouragement or support can only help those who might just need a little pick-me-up. You just never know how your words or positive actions will help others, if only a little. All that to say, thanks for taking the time to spread some positive vibes, and best of luck on jump-starting your new life. Hope you find everything you are looking for and more! We all deserve greatness and love. :)

[herpesgirl1594]

Hi sweetie, its been a week since I found out I have herpes too, and I can identify so much with what you say, you can talk to me any time you want, I think we could be really supportive for each other :) best of lucks, stay strong!

[Sab123]

I found out a year ago and I have hsv 1 and I am fine look at my latest post and I hope it helps you. And you answer you question yes the person who falls in love with you will accept it if they really love you and you will have the same sex life you had before it. It's more of a mind game that your playing right now you and only you can make your self be okay every day it gets easier and easier I forget I have it sometimes I'm not gonna lie other times I think of it daily but it doesn't make as big as an impact as it did at first it's more or N annoyance feeling then a sad feeling like why do I have to have it its annoying. I have only had one ob which was my first. I have yet to go through a second thank god! But when ever I feel uncomfortable or anything out of the ordinary I use some tea tree oil on the area and with in a day or too I'm back to normal. I libe a normal everyday life and you will too. It has yet to affect my life again since that first ob. I hope I don't wht another but if I do I'm sure I'll be sad and depressed at the time but once it's gone I'll be okay. It's all about what you tell yourself. At the end of the day it's only a rash.

[Chinup]

I wish there was a "like" button, @positivelybeautiful!!! I completely agree! I go from what I think is a certain form of "acceptance" to extremely low and depressed. Like you said, everyone's experience with this will certainly vary and i myself am on a mission to stay as positive as possible. However, what I can say is it's MUCH easier to be happy and positive about this when the symptoms aren't active. I was feeling pretty good about everything until that second OB shook me up.. Then I was back to feeling extremely low and depressed. Luckily it cleared up in less than a week with meds and I'm back to feeling "ok".. The mental and emotional symptoms are just as bad, if not worse sometimes, than the physical. I find I beat myself up constantly over this.. I have to make an effort to STOP thinking about it and just focus on something else. Short little story for you all.. I had a rough day on weds. My daughter told me her ears and mouth hurt (first time my 2.5 year old has ever voiced anything like that to me lol) so I made an appt at the ped and took her in.. Waited over an hour to be seen to find out that she was perfectly fine (thank goodness, of course).. Anyways, I was late to work for no reason, had a stressful day at work, had a terrible drive home that took way longer than it should have and as I'm sitting in my car, FRUSTRATED as hell, I thought to myself "I'm having a terrible day, and it has NOTHING to do with H!! I still have the same kinds of bad days that I always did..". It was eye opening for me.. Another story, my coworker just lost her babies (twins).. Second miscarriage in the last few months. I am completely devestated for her and her husband and it also put me in my place. In spite of this, I still have so many things to be thankful for.. The first one being my daughter. When I was first diagnosed i made a list of "thankfuls" that I was supposed to keep handy in moments of weakness so I could pull it out and read over it for a reminder.. I also refuse to let this thing ruin or stop me from living a full life, but some days are defintely easier than others!!! :-) sorry for the book lol!!!

[WCSDancer2010]

@Chinup

 

I thought to myself "I'm having a terrible day, and it has NOTHING to do with H!! I still have the same kinds of bad days that I always did..". It was eye opening for me..

 

YES! YES! YES!!! When you *get* that, a lot of the angst goes away. So many people blame EVERYTHING that goes wrong in their life on H post-diagnosis.... :(

[CityofAngels]

An encouraging post, Ihaveittoo1975. While I disagree with the assertions concerning politics and society in the United States, I believe this post will be very encouraging for all of those who are H+. Nicely done.

[Ihaveittoo1975]

CoA,

 

I too hope folks here find it encouraging. That was my intention writing it.

 

I knew my political view wouldn't be liked by everyone here. I base it on having lived in various countries around the world for the past 17 years, including ten in the US. Not trying to offend anyone, just one man's observation/view of things. Definitively many great things about the US, the top controlled fear mongering is not one of them.

 

Anyhow, this is a "happy thread" about moving on with H, so I will leave it at that. ;)