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Before disclosing to your partner or future partner, does anyone have oral sex first?


I have genital HSV1 and I've been seeing this guy for a while. I am by no means ready to disclose to him because I only want to disclose when I am in a committed relationship or going to be in one. But I do want to spice things up a bit more, and I know I should not allow him to perform oral sex because he would be at risk and I never disclosed. However, I would do it for him. The only thing that is stopping me is that I don't want to orally contract something else if he had something.


I was just wondering how many people actually go about oral sex without disclosing.

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I don't have oral only genital.

And I agree, I don't want to catch anything more than I have already, I think we can all agree that we would prefer to not have to worry about disclosing more private information than we have to . That's what is holding me back from taking that step. I want to take the step, but know it's in my best interest not to.

I was just curious as to how many people actually go ahead and have oral anyway or if they wait until they're open with their partner.

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I think we can all agree that we would prefer to not have to worry about disclosing more private information than we have to . That's what is holding me back from taking that step.


Well then you are not ready to have sex. If you can't discuss it like adults, and get tested like responsible adults, you are not ready. ;) I have NO problem discussing this kind of thing with a guy. If he isn't willing to get tested and show me the results, he doesn't respect ME enough to care about *my* health ;)


@inka ... there ARE flavored condoms you know ;)

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Almost nil.


Only 1% of all oral herpes comes from HSV2. I think the most important thing with HSV2 and oral sex is to make very sure to not do anything with the carrier has any chance of an OB and also when the H- person has any chance of a sore/cut/inflammation in their mouth/lips/throat including any chance of a cold coming on. I'm willing to guess that most of the 1% that end up in oral region had at least one of those things going on when they had oral sex :(

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Has anyone tried using a dental dam before? My boyfriend just got tested, and if he already has type 1 we will won't use them. If he doesn't have it though, I would feel bad putting him at risk. I also love oral (receiving and giving) though, so the idea of giving it up entirely is sad. Is oral with a dental dam still good? What about on a guy with a condom?

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"Only 1% of all oral herpes comes from HSV2."


Something tells me that figure could be misleading though since up to 80% have hsv1, and likely kiss others a lot more than give oral?


Why? You asked What are the rough chances of hsv2 passing to the mouth without an OB or a condom


That answer is nearly nil ...


*Most* oral herpes is actually acquired as a child ... 60% of young adults have HSV1 by the time they are young adults and they get it either from Doting Auntie Sue kissing them bye bye or from sharing slobbery toys. I got HSV1 around age 4. Got the photos to prove it. :(


So 99% of Oral Herpes is HSV1 ... mostly acquired as mentioned in childhood ... the rest mostly from kissing someone with a cold sore... *possibly* a few getting it from sharing lipstick/drinks and such, but again, that would have to be mostly right after the H+ person (with an active cold sore) actually used those things.


Again, HSV2 really, really dislikes the mouth and so if you have it and you are careful to not have oral sex if the person has an OB on the gentials.....

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I suppose the way I read it is:


0.8% population - Oral HSV2

15% population - Gen.HSV2


(Negating all the kids who get oral herpes from aunts or toys, teenagers kissing etc.)


"Only 1% of all oral herpes comes from HSV2." Isn't specific to oral sex, and could be misunderstood as 100x less likely to be transmitted.


Ever the optimist! But regardless, I'll take care with OBs and hold onto these ding dong flavored condoms I found lying around :P

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