Who told your secret?

[KatsMomUtah]

I have been lurking this thread for a LONG time and wanted to comment but didn't know if my daughter comes here or not.. I don't know if she'd be mad that I'm talking about her business but - just wanted to share some thoughts.

 

I lurk this site because my 17 year old daughter, Kat, has GHSV1, and the support and knowledge here has been a Godsend.

 

This thread caught my attention because Kat's ENTIRE SCHOOL "found out" about her little situation, and all hell broke loose. It's a long rambling story, (it's in my original post) and yes, it was hell, but in SOME WAYS - maybe a blessing. (?) as now that "everyone knows", she has been spared having to disclose over and over again, and it has really shown the true colors of her classmates and "friends".

 

The people who love Kat have come to her with questions, and have stuck around. And boy oh boy there have been the mean girls, and the little asshole boys, who have been evil - which Kat has learned how to deal with. Stomped on her spirit some, but she has been bouncing back. And her father and I know she will be "fine" when she goes off into the world and has to handle this on her own.

 

JUST YESTERDAY a mean mean little girl posted something about Kat's herpes on FACEBOOK. Can you imagine?? How can people be so cruel? Anyway- again - it was a learning experience on how to handle people like this in the world, as it wasn't her first time to be "exposed" and it most certainly won't be her last. Each time it happens, i see her become stronger and stronger.

 

And the jokes on them really, because when they do stuff like this, try to put her down, all others see is Kat standing tall, not getting into social media wars, not denying it, not admitting it, just "carrying on", more and more people see that "hum, maybe this isn't a big deal after all and XXXX is a little B**** for even posting stuff like that"

 

Herpes really is an odd little Wingman :)

 

So while it really sucks when it happens - I think being outed public is - well - all right - if you can just muddle through it and keep your head HIGH.

 

 

[StillMeButWiser]

If they are that mean it could be considered bullying or harassment. These days schools do get involved when it is on social media. So will the authorities. Which at this point may not be a bad idea. Sometimes when an authority figure with power intimidates/ tells the child to "knock it off" more than likely they will. School officials and authorities will not release children's names to the other party's. Privacy act. So it might be worth looking into. Think of it as putting out the fire. Even bashing a child in school, the school officials will get involved. They see it has bullying/harassing.

[WCSDancer2010]

I agree @KatsMomUtah ... I'd just point that info to the school and let them deal with the girl ... because that other child needs someone to help her to see that bullying is NOT ok .... and in doing so, you may keep her from doing this to another child who is not as strong as your daughter ... and that may save a life... so I hope you will make sure someone sees that and deals with it.

 

And good on your daughter for not getting sucked into the other peoples drama and ugliness. She sounds like a beautiful person and I know you must be proud of her :)

[worried]

@KatsMomUtah I fear for the day people find out about my daughter. One of her biggest fears is people finding out.

[WCSDancer2010]

@worried....

 

Look... there are sooo many things that people can "find out" about us that can cause them to judge us .... AND .... those things can be our filter for who we allow into our lives, because the REAL friends won't care, and the others opinions don't matter..... and THAT is the lesson your daughter needs to get right now. The opinions of assholes do not define who you are .... only YOU can create that definition :)

[Anna01]

@worried Honestly, rumors I heard about myself far outweighed my truths. People talk. They act like they have the right to judge but they don't. The best thing to do is show her that her value is not determined by what people think of her. Her value comes from within and how she decides to live her life. Who cares if people find out. The truth is negative people are so negative that they are willing to even make up things about you that are completely unfounded. Believe me, I know. Now I don't deal with that kind of stuff because I separated myself from those types of individuals. It is wonderful! Teach her to surround herself with people who love her and turn a blind eye to the ones who don't.

[worried]

Thank you @WCSDancer2010 and @Anna01 great advice. I just need to keep encouraging her and letting her know I love her and am here for her always!