My boyfriend makes me feel like I am a pig because I have herpes.

[ica]

I found out I have herpes back in april, my boyfriend was there, it was not an issue, but now of a sudden it is. He seems

very upset about it, and now I am hurt by his insensitive comments, and he appologizes but I feel that is not enough

because I feel empty. There is many issues in our relationship, but he is mostly concerned about himslef, and is very controlling about me, and I am thinking about breaking up with him. I don't think I have to change myself for him. I love him very much and I am going through a hard time in my life not just with him but I mean like in other regions in my life day to day and I still try my best with him. I am also thinking about trying a herpes dating website just to talk to someone not to just off the bat date, I am very hurt. Please no bashing this is just me looking for an outside perspective.

[fitgirl]

@ica it sounds like this man is bad news and herpes came along in your life to prove that once and for all. Herpes is showing you clearly the kind of man he is and that you need to leave the relationship. anyone who treats their partner that way should be shown the door. Instead of going to herpes dating sites right away, I would suggest you take some time ALONE. Deal with your diagnosis and find out who you really are INSIDE. take time to love and care for yourself, you don't need a man for that.....it comes from within. Once you find your own inner happiness, you will attract better quality men who don't treat you like dirt. you deserve more.

[ica]

@fitgirl Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. That really helps me feel better, I actually I am going to really take time to myself. I might even go back to college and take classes. I really need to re evaluate who I want to be with for forever and what I want in a relationship and what I want for me before I even consider someone. I need to really heal and get to know myself before even talk to someone about a possible friendship again. I just lost my best friend.

[fitgirl]

@ica that is a perfect plan. follow through with that and use this as an opportunity to grow as a person in every way. I know it hurts and it feels like you just lost your best friend but the truth is...... a best friend respects you, accepts you and loves you unconditionally. It doesn't sound like you had a best friend in that man. lucky for you, you now have a chance to get to know yourself better and eventually meet an authentic best friend :)

[2Legit2Quit]

I agree w everything fitgirl said, he is showing who he is. Listen to people when they speak, they will tell you who you are. Herpes tends to take away the excuses and justifications we make for red flags, so there is definitely a positive side to this.

 

Since you were w him when you found out, how do you know he didn't give it to you?

 

What he is doing is emotional abuse and you don't deserve this. Based off your post, you already know what you have to do, you just need to execute.

 

I don't think going to a dating site is the answer, you have plenty of us who will speak to you and provide the support you need.

[WCSDancer2010]

First - Hello and Welcome!

 

Sooo - I agree, how do you know you didn't get H from him? And which kind of Herpes do you have and where?

 

As for the BF - I agree, He's showing you who he is. I tell people all the time that Herpes is your Wingman... it shows you who loves you unconditionally and who is an asshat in your life :)

 

We have TONS of people on here who have discordant partners who have beautiful relationships... check out the Success Stories. And their partners don't shame them for having H... they love them WITH it :)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5897/my-first-disclosure-story#latest Wingman example

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 )

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6347/my-disclosure-story 2 very different reactions … but both are “successful” in their own ways :)

 

 

Herpes as a relationship filter Adrial

 

[2Legit2Quit]

So glad it has helped!

 

[hippyherpy]

If he can't hang he has to go.