Telling someone and they use it against you?

[DarkKnightX]

How do you guys feel about when you're open and honest about telling someone that u have herpes, and every chance they get they use it against you?

[2Legit2Quit]

The first guy I disclosed to, actually in a spat we were having said: most guys would run away if you told them that, but I didn't.... That made me rage, because I felt he was throwing it in my face and that was a deal breaker and no go. One thing I ask after disclosure is: is this something you're going to throw in my face? If you got it, would you resent me and make me feel guilty for it? For me, it's a res flag and a no guy for a guy to throw it in your face.

[DarkKnightX]

No one really knows what types of illnesses and conditions life might throw at them. Even before I acquired this virus, I was always compassionate about what others may endure. I just think it's wrong for people to make fun or try to embarrass others for what they have.

[2Legit2Quit]

Did someone do that to yoi?

[DarkKnightX]

Yes my ex wife

[DarkKnightX]

She even threatened to expose me on social media.

[2Legit2Quit]

She won't do such a thing, because then people will think she has it too... How immature. How old is she? Why is she doing that?

[DarkKnightX]

She's 41 and funny thing is I didn't start to develop symptoms until a week after I had unprotected sex with her. I know that I could've contracted the virus from a previous partner of whom I was with for seven months prior before me and my ex had sex. I never experienced any symptoms what so ever while I was with my partner, but after I had sex with my ex, about three days later I immediately had prodrome symptoms. It was only a week later that I noticed a lesion on my penis.

[2Legit2Quit]

Well does your ex have it? Why is she threatening you w this? Very childish, especially w her age.

[DarkKnightX]

She claims to have had the test which she says came back negative, but never saw it. I took the test twice and got a negative on both. The second time I had an outbreak I immediately got it swabbed and it was hsv2. I told her that she could be truly asymptomatic, but she swears that she is clean. I think it's bs because it takes at least 4 to 6 months for antibodies to show up.

[Nal]

Sounds like she's fibbing...

[DarkKnightX]

Right

[Bambina3]

It does take at least 4 months for antibodies to be detectable in your blood.

 

I have been in silence so far about my hsv status, exactly for the situation you are going thru now...I was diagnosed with hpv years ago, and when my ex and I split, he did go around telling others I had an std...it was hurtful.

[2Legit2Quit]

Yup... I call bs as well. The fact that your first two blood tests came up negative, is proof that it was a new infection. When she says that to you next time, tell her have at it... I'll tell them you gave it to me. She won't expect you to say that.

[WCSDancer2010]

I find that when you don't care who knows, then no one can use it against you. I came out to everyone (yes, EVERYONE) on Facebook and not one person has ever tried to use it against me. I was also out on my dating profiles when I had them up... again, not one nasty comment. And to be honest, if there had been one, I would have realized it was just a reflection about the ugliness of that person, not me....

 

Bullies only get a charge when they think they can get under your skin. Perhaps you should tell her that you are thinking about coming out to everyone, and you don't care who knows. Odds are she won't like that.... because it sounds like she's really insecure about it.... You can say if she tries to out you, you will just announce it to everyone and let them think what they will... I would guess she will back down... It's sorta a "Pre-emptive strike" on your part :)

[As89]

That goes with people talking about herpes I' was in a situation with a group of friends (who don't know I'm positive) they were talking about getting herpes from a drink everyone was chiming in and I cut them off and said that's not how you get herpes idiots it's from skin to skin contact, educate yourselves. CRICKETS.. Not one peraon said a single word besides or really I didn't know that. They all felt stupid and uneducated because ....... They were!

[2Legit2Quit]

Yeah pretty scary the ignorance today we have is still so bad

[As89]

Yup!