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If there is no way to know when you contacted it how do you know how many of your exes you should co

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I was just diagnosed Friday from the IgG blood test. Back in March I had a swab test due to a sore on my genitals but that came back negative. Is it possible I have recently contacted it or the swab test was a false negative? The reason I went and got the blood only 6 months later is because an ex that I did only sleep with 1 time after the test in march just told me he has herpes and was diagnosed in may. Other than that sore I have had no other symptoms. I have no idea if he was ever tested before as to where all the confusion & frustration comes from for me. Please help. I don't know what to do. I feel so alone.

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Swab tests are quite accurate (provided the sore is bad enough to get a sample from), so i would think chances are that the infection is relatively new. I can’t tell you for sure, but it’s something you could ask your doctor about. It’s also possible you’ve had asymptomatic HSV for years, and the sore you had last spring was something else entirely.


Many times, we just don’t know where we got HSV or when. It’s kind of maddening, but it just is what it is. The only way to know if it’s a new infection is if you have a positive swab test and a negative blood test at the same time (because it takes time to develop enough antibodies to test positive on a blood test).


I think you really just need to use your judgment on how far back to tell partners. I felt obligated to tell the guy I was seeing at the time of my diagnosis, plus my ex-husband since we were married for 15 years. I had five partners before him, any one of which could have given me HSV 20+ years ago and I’m not in touch with, so I didn’t tell them. Trust your judgement. :)

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Hi Tanto..I'm in the same boat. I told my most recent two....but I also have no idea when/where/who my hsv came from. It's so frustrating to not know! I know you feel alone. I do too. I'm learning that we are not alone though - we both found this place full of supportive people.

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As time passes, I don't think it really matters to tell your exes. Maybe tell the person you most recently slept with if they are still I the mix. Otherwise it can become a blur because it is hard to tell who you got it from. So many peopl have it and don't know they have it.


I wouldn't dwell too much on who gave it to you. Instead focus on the future.

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Personally, I told the people I had slept with in the past year. I felt like it was important that if they had it, that they know and not be surprised by an out break like I was.

I just left a voicemail saying I had just been diagnosed with herpes and they should get tested.

It was much easier to do that I thought it would be. Saying the words out loud and plainly was actually a good thing for me.

Just like hippyherpy said, don't dwell on who or how. Focus on the future.

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It's been a crazy emotional few days. Thanks for the kind words and support. So far I have only discussed it with the ex who was also diagnosed. He has been great support and we are amazing friends. He was so afraid I would hate and blame him.

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